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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Sabina on June 16, 2003, at 17:06:23
Two weeks on Lexapro. Things definitely aren't as bad as last week with SE's (when I thought I was going to crawl right out of my skin) but I'm turning into a zombie. No amount of caffeine helps to keep me focused and I'm sure it only exacerbates the anxiety. I've done absolutely nothing all day but sleep too much and berate myself for sleeping too much. I don't know how I'm going to be able to fix dinner, but my boyfriend is bankrolling my life at this point and I think the least he deserves is a nice dinner. How can I be so keyed up and stoned at the same time? How can I sleep 16 hours a day and still be so nervous? I guess I'll just hope for a better day tomorrow. Thanks for listening.
Posted by whiterabbit on June 16, 2003, at 21:22:46
In reply to Not a good day. , posted by Sabina on June 16, 2003, at 17:06:23
All I can tell you is to please hang in there because you're going through the worst part right now...and you might as well stick with it since you've come this far. When you first start taking these psychiatric drugs the side effects can be awful and all you keep thinking is, "THIS is supposed to be helping??" But what's happening is, the drug is hard at work shifting things around inside your brain so that it will work better. Unfortunately, this "re-wiring" takes some time and while it's going on, you can feel exhausted, confused and doped-up. Keep reminding yourself that you're only in Phase I, the worst part. If you stop taking medication now, all the work going on inside your head will fall apart and you'll be back where you started or worse. If you stay on your medication, good things will continue to happen inside your mind (yeah I know it doesn't FEEL good) and gradually, oh SO gradually, you will adjust to the medication and the unpleasant side effects start to wear off.
The fog starts to lift, the confusion goes away,
your energy comes back, and you will be rewarded
for sticking it out...I can tell you this is true from personal experience, in fact I came back from Hell just to let you know. Depression, psychosis and substance abuse blew apart my whole life...I lost my job, I have no money, I chased away most of my family and friends, my husband is divorcing me and damnit, I've never been happier.
Now tell me them drugs don't work.
-Gracie
Posted by Sabina on June 16, 2003, at 22:58:38
In reply to Re: Not a good day. , posted by whiterabbit on June 16, 2003, at 21:22:46
Thanks so much for your kind words, Gracie. You and many others posting here have often been in my thoughts since I began reading all that you've been going through. I've been through a divorce myself, and it was one of the most difficult times of my life. Just keep posting for support. I didn't have a support network at the time and I'm sure it would have made a world of difference. Now I just worry and fret about whether my boyfriend will get tired of dealing with my crap (I habitually self deprecate). I began therapy and meds primarily to strengthen our relationship. Sadly, I didn't think enough of myself on my own to ever do it before. I actually believe that I'm an undiagnosed sufferer of ADHD. In the end, it doesn't matter how I got to this point or how to categorize it, only that I'm on the right track now. I realize that I just need to dig deep and stay committed to my meds...lest I be actually committed. It's just so difficult not to "forget" to take them when I'm already having a bad day. Thanks again for helping me not feel so alone in all this. My boyfriend always tries to reassure me, but he just can't understand like you guys do. Hugs and peaceful thoughts to you all, Sabina
Posted by wendy b. on June 17, 2003, at 7:14:44
In reply to Re: Not a good day. whiterabbit, posted by Sabina on June 16, 2003, at 22:58:38
Sabina,
I hope you are feeling better soon... I've never posted to you before, but I am a BP 2 sufferer, with ADHD, been on the board here for about 2 years. I know the kinds of feelings you're talking about...
Have you talked to your pdoc about your side effects from the Lexapro? I don't think your reaction is typical... but not having tried Lex or Celexa, I don't know. It just seems like one shouldn't have to suffer so much on a drug that's supposed to make you feel better... (right?) Sometimes people here have said that a strong, immediate negative side effect to a drug is a sign that it's not going to work for you. Check the meds board, I'll try to later after work...Sorry again for the pain you're in. And don't do the self-deprecating thing where your boyfriend is concerned. I'm sure the love and care you give him has a lot of value to him, in and of itself. Your illness is not a "fault," and the judgemental thing probably doesn't even enter his mind. I'm sure he just wants to understand and help...
best wishes,
Wendy
Posted by whiterabbit on June 17, 2003, at 13:47:21
In reply to Re: Not a good day. whiterabbit, posted by Sabina on June 16, 2003, at 22:58:38
You might be interested in "Healing ADD" by Daniel Amen MD (great name huh). He's been able to isolate SIX different types of ADD with the help of 3-D brain scans. The type I have, "Inattentive", does not show hyperactivity as a symptom, which is why he doesn't use the term ADHD. I've been prescribed a low-dose stimulant three times a day, at first I was jumping out of my skin with all the coffee I drink
but now I'm starting to adjust and by jove, I think it might be working. You can also check out Amen's website at www.brainplace.com for more information.Also you might want to call your physician and ask if the symptoms you're having are atypical for
an SSRI or the combination of medications you're taking. I never had a problem with SSRIs but it took awhile for me to get used to the amount of Seroquel I take. Under no circumstances should you attempt to adjust the dosage or quit taking medication without medical supervision. These drugs can really mess you up if you fool around with them. They can also improve your quality of life to a degree you never dreamed of. It's incredible stuff...we are fortunate to live in this age of medicine. One hundred or even 50 years
ago I would have been locked away and forgotten in the back of some filthy asylum (read "Will There Ever Be a Morning?" by Frances Farmer - it's even more horrifying than the movie). In another age I probably would have been burned as a witch, especially if I was married to the same guy. (See I know what you dream about, Ken.)In the future, psychiatric drugs will work faster and better without so many side effects, but right now we can take advantage of what's available - the slow cure is sure better than no cure ever.
You'll feel better if you drink a lot of water, it helps your body flush the toxins out of your system. And take good vitamins - the serious ones
high in antioxidants that come in those little multi-pack deals. The one-a-day type vitamins don't do squat. Also, you sleep when you need to sleep and don't feel guilty - it's not laziness, it's not your fault and it won't last. You'll start feeling better and sleeping less as time goes by. Make sure you tell your boyfriend.
;-)Gracie-Mom
Posted by Sabina on June 17, 2003, at 23:31:46
In reply to Have I got a book for you » Sabina, posted by whiterabbit on June 17, 2003, at 13:47:21
Gracie,
Thanks so much for the book suggestion. I will definitely check out the web site tonight (actually, morning now). I may have to read the book in snippets, as I can't think straight or retain information much of the time. Once again, your support is very much appreciated, and also amazing given all the challenges you're facing. You are an inspiration to all of us who aspire to be the kind of supportive and unselfish person you obviously are even when things aren't going well in our own lives.
Bina
P.S. Just by the way, I don't know how much gas costs either! It's not as if it's negotiable, so I just hand the guy some little green pieces of paper and sometimes he gives me some back. I'm just happy if I'm able to leave the house at this point!
Posted by whiterabbit on June 18, 2003, at 1:41:23
In reply to Re: Have I got a book for you whiterabbit, posted by Sabina on June 17, 2003, at 23:31:46
Believe it or not, just a little over a year ago,
I woke up in ICU after having my stomach pumped and started to cry because I was still alive. I didn't understand why God had spared me when people who value life die every day.Since then, a number of small miracles have come my way just in time to change the whole course of my life. After years of pain and disappointment with psychiatric treatment (much of it brought on by my own ignorance), the events in my life began
to guide me towards the right doctors, the best therapy, a more accurate diagnosis of my severe
mental problems and appropriate medication. As a result, despite the destruction I caused and the
reckoning I must deal with now, my thinking is clear and my depression is gone. And I'm just so greatful, so thankful to not be hopeless and in pain (my personal circumstances are certainly painful, but not nearly as agonizing as the pain that used to radiate relentlessly from inside me),
I do feel the need to try and pull others out of
the pit...it's a way to make use of the suffering that seemed to be so unnecessary in my life.God bless-
Gracie
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