![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by girlygirl on May 24, 2003, at 9:10:27
I've just heard of this thing called social anxiety (I live in the UK, docs don't bother to tell you about these things - it takes more than 5 mins). And I think that's my problem. More than depression (maybe it's even the cause of my depression!).
All the way through school, university twice over and now my first job, I have been incapable of forming relationships with people or handling group situations, to the point that it gets so bad I can't cope with it anymore, get really paranoid and withdrawn and then just jack it all in and stop attending. I have never been able to have more than one friend at a time (apart from during 6th form, when I was a drug user, which solved all my problems for a while).
I now work in a job which involves A LOT of talking to people and my success relies on the relationships I build with people (I didn't realise this when I started). And I am making a BIG mess. My boss really dislikes me cos I am just not a "team player" and I am getting to the point where I am sitting in the office holding back tears and wanting to kill myself because I feel like such an outcast.
Does this sound familiar to anyone? Is this social anxiety (or social phobia)? How do you treat it?
Aliceblue
Posted by daizy on May 24, 2003, at 11:39:06
In reply to social anxiety/phobia - anyone else?, posted by girlygirl on May 24, 2003, at 9:10:27
Hey! I kinda know how you feel a bit, ive got anxiety aswell. I did the drug thing, and it would have been the perfect cure if it had lasted!! I had to leave Uni cause of constantly being scared to go to lectures and do presentations and stuff, then in the end I just stopped going. I dont know your reason but for me its a lack of confidence and hang ups about my appearance, I just dont think Im good enough!
It must be hard going to work when your anxious, well done for staying, it would be all to easy to give up! Does your boss really dislike you, or is that just you being paranoid? I suppose you'll have to do some serious thinking about whether it is the job you want to be doing, if it is, then there are ways around the problem. Have you tried councelling? I know some specialise in confidence building, and things like social anxietys. On the medication side, AD's can be helpful to some people, they havnt been so far for me! Have you seen a doctor about it? Do you have anyone who you can really talk to about it? Its good you found this board, there is a lot of help and support here. Good luck!
Posted by whiterabbit on May 24, 2003, at 23:16:51
In reply to social anxiety/phobia - anyone else?, posted by girlygirl on May 24, 2003, at 9:10:27
I've become quite a bit more sociable on Paxil.
I'm not throwing any parties, but I don't go out of my way to avoid people like I used to. My theory on this is that while anti-depressants don't "make" you friendly, it's not such an effort to be around others when you're not depressed. Also, the older I get the less I care about what "they" think - such a relief.
-Gracie
Posted by justyourlaugh on May 25, 2003, at 0:08:53
In reply to Re: social anxiety/phobia - anyone else?, posted by whiterabbit on May 24, 2003, at 23:16:51
g,,
for me i tried alot of meds...
right now 200 zoloft
and lorazepam 3 times a day...
i know now it up to me to allow myself to trust others...
i thought i was okay...until my pdoc made me asses things...i have little or no quality in my life now...
i want it back!
Posted by wendy b. on May 25, 2003, at 7:16:53
In reply to social anxiety/phobia - anyone else?, posted by girlygirl on May 24, 2003, at 9:10:27
Dear Alice,
Try this link - it's long, but it should work
It's a quick Google search on treatment of social phobia. It does seem like that's what you have, and I'm really really sorry and sympathetic to the work part of your story, I had a horrible experience in that regard.
So, for example, if you click on the first link on that Google page, there are a ton of references and web sites to check symptoms, and treatment options.
Basically, you need to see your doc again, for some real meds to treat this thing, and also to check for other symptoms of associated depression (like you say, which came first, the anxiety or the depression? - in a way, it doesn't matter, but you needs meds for both, like Gracie says, Paxil is a good start). And you probably need some real therapy, to help with the immediate and long-term aspects of your "illness" or "disorder," or whatever we're calling it.
I'm sorry I can't so more right now (work), but that should get you some ideas and things to read to begin "naming the beast" of what you are suffering from. That's such an important first step. Then you can go to the doc, research in hand, and ask him for the meds you think might do you some good.
Also, search on the meds page on this site:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/
Using the term "social phobia" in quotes, that will get you a lot of good info from the smart people on this site.
Also do a search on amazon.com using those terms.
LOTS of stuff to read!Good luck, I'll check back in a couple of days to see how you're doing...
best wishes,
Wendy
Posted by girlygirl on May 27, 2003, at 8:54:58
In reply to Re: social anxiety/phobia - anyone else?, posted by daizy on May 24, 2003, at 11:39:06
Hi Daizy, just got chance to get back here (don't have internet access at home - in library!). It's basically the same stuff that stops me being able to talk to people. feeling ugly, fat, different, boring etc. When I left uni (first time round) three years ago I didn't say goodbye to a single person, apart from my tutors. I didn't even go to the farewell dinner they held for my year group cos I knew a lot of the people there wouldn't even recognise me.
Then I went to uni again (to do a postgrad) a year later and IT HAPPENED AGAIN. This time I managed to make one friend (big breakthrough) but I ended up running out of the goodbye "do" in tears because I felt so isolated. Pathetic or what? Now I've been in my first proper job for 10 mths and never get invited out for a drink, barely know a single person. and i feel like I've really TRIED! It is all about trusting people, I think, and I just can't do it. i was really badly bullied at school (aged 11 to 15) and I think that's what started it. What about you?
I don't think my boss is very fond of me but yr right, I think I am just being paranoid about him not liking me. I think I make him uncomfortable.
I've had LOADS of counselling (just count up... five or six different ones over the past six years) but never targeted at social anxiety or whatever. and I've tried Prozac, Cipramil (Celexa), Effexor, Dothiepin and Lofepramine. I'm on Lofepramine now with beta blockers. Seems to give me a bit more energy to get out of bed in the morning but that's about it.
My ex-boyfriend (who I'm still mates with), is there for me by phone (he lives in a different town) and I've got a few other friends I can talk to on the phone a bit, but in this town there isn't really anyone.. lucky I found this board! Hope I haven't bored the a**e off you!
GG xx
> Hey! I kinda know how you feel a bit, ive got anxiety aswell. I did the drug thing, and it would have been the perfect cure if it had lasted!! I had to leave Uni cause of constantly being scared to go to lectures and do presentations and stuff, then in the end I just stopped going. I dont know your reason but for me its a lack of confidence and hang ups about my appearance, I just dont think Im good enough!
>
> It must be hard going to work when your anxious, well done for staying, it would be all to easy to give up! Does your boss really dislike you, or is that just you being paranoid? I suppose you'll have to do some serious thinking about whether it is the job you want to be doing, if it is, then there are ways around the problem. Have you tried councelling? I know some specialise in confidence building, and things like social anxietys. On the medication side, AD's can be helpful to some people, they havnt been so far for me! Have you seen a doctor about it? Do you have anyone who you can really talk to about it? Its good you found this board, there is a lot of help and support here. Good luck!
>
>
Posted by girlygirl on May 27, 2003, at 8:57:52
In reply to Re: social anxiety/phobia - anyone else?, posted by whiterabbit on May 24, 2003, at 23:16:51
Is Paxil an SSRI? On SSRIs I seem to get really really lethargic and don't care about anything. I don't talk to people but I stop caring that I don't! Hmm. GG x
> I've become quite a bit more sociable on Paxil.
> I'm not throwing any parties, but I don't go out of my way to avoid people like I used to. My theory on this is that while anti-depressants don't "make" you friendly, it's not such an effort to be around others when you're not depressed. Also, the older I get the less I care about what "they" think - such a relief.
> -Gracie
Posted by girlygirl on May 27, 2003, at 8:59:20
In reply to Re: social anxiety/phobia - anyone else?, posted by girlygirl on May 27, 2003, at 8:57:52
Posted by girlygirl on May 27, 2003, at 9:08:37
In reply to Re: social anxiety/phobia- searching for info. » girlygirl, posted by wendy b. on May 25, 2003, at 7:16:53
Dear Wendy
You're right - LOTS of stuff! Thanks for taking the time - I will have a good look.
I do have to go back to the doc, and I will. I'm on Lofepramine and beta blockers at the moment (the beta blockers to stop the fast heartbeat I get with the TCA). I'm supposed to be getting some counselling, but that's always hit and miss. I'll have a talk with my counsellor and ask him/her what he/she thinks. I wish I could afford private healthcare cos I'm starting to think that's the only way! I just feel like I've lost years of my life, the ones that were supposed to be the best ones. Still, could be worse, I could have even less people in my life (trying to think positive!)
GG x
> Dear Alice,
>
> Try this link - it's long, but it should work
>
> http://www.google.com/search?as_q=treatment&num=20&hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&btnG=Google+Search&as_epq=social+phobia&as_oq=&as_eq=&lr=&as_ft=i&as_filetype=&as_qdr=all&as_occt=any&as_dt=i&as_sitesearch=&safe=off
>
> It's a quick Google search on treatment of social phobia. It does seem like that's what you have, and I'm really really sorry and sympathetic to the work part of your story, I had a horrible experience in that regard.
> So, for example, if you click on the first link on that Google page, there are a ton of references and web sites to check symptoms, and treatment options.
> Basically, you need to see your doc again, for some real meds to treat this thing, and also to check for other symptoms of associated depression (like you say, which came first, the anxiety or the depression? - in a way, it doesn't matter, but you needs meds for both, like Gracie says, Paxil is a good start). And you probably need some real therapy, to help with the immediate and long-term aspects of your "illness" or "disorder," or whatever we're calling it.
> I'm sorry I can't so more right now (work), but that should get you some ideas and things to read to begin "naming the beast" of what you are suffering from. That's such an important first step. Then you can go to the doc, research in hand, and ask him for the meds you think might do you some good.
> Also, search on the meds page on this site:
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/
> Using the term "social phobia" in quotes, that will get you a lot of good info from the smart people on this site.
> Also do a search on amazon.com using those terms.
> LOTS of stuff to read!
>
> Good luck, I'll check back in a couple of days to see how you're doing...
>
> best wishes,
> Wendy
Posted by whiterabbit on May 28, 2003, at 20:14:15
In reply to Re: social anxiety/phobia- searching for info. » wendy b., posted by girlygirl on May 27, 2003, at 9:08:37
Paxil IS an SSRI...you could start with a low dose like 20 mg and your doc could add more later on. It's been so effective for me that I would recommend it even if does make you lethargic at first, because my experience has been that as your body adjusts to the medication, the side effects (gradually) go away. Also, side effects will be milder if you stay hydrated, so drink your water!
-Gracie
Posted by daizy on May 29, 2003, at 6:50:29
In reply to Re: social anxiety/phobia - anyone else? » daizy, posted by girlygirl on May 27, 2003, at 8:54:58
No of course not. Strange that, we have some similarities! If the meds you are taking now seem to be working then I'd stick to them, chopping and changing makes it worse sometimes I think??
I think you did really well not just going to uni once, but twice! I found a lot of people at uni to be false, there was a competitive atmosphere, and Ive only got a few people who I still keep in touch with. When I left I lost quite a few friends, or I thought they were my friends, but havnt bothered keeping in touch. You know thats fine, as long as you've got family and a few friends who you can trust you especially dont need people like that.
It is all about trusting people, I dont trust easily, a bit negative, but its probably from childhood too. Its a hard to change being like that, I still havnt!
About the councelling thing, I think you should try and find someone who does specific things like social phobia's. Ive heard a lot of stuff with social phobia, and that meds alone dont work, you have to have some therapy too. Local college's should run courses in thigs like confidence building. I havnt been brave enough yet, buling the confidence to just get there first!!
> Hi Daizy, just got chance to get back here (don't have internet access at home - in library!). It's basically the same stuff that stops me being able to talk to people. feeling ugly, fat, different, boring etc. When I left uni (first time round) three years ago I didn't say goodbye to a single person, apart from my tutors. I didn't even go to the farewell dinner they held for my year group cos I knew a lot of the people there wouldn't even recognise me.
>
> Then I went to uni again (to do a postgrad) a year later and IT HAPPENED AGAIN. This time I managed to make one friend (big breakthrough) but I ended up running out of the goodbye "do" in tears because I felt so isolated. Pathetic or what? Now I've been in my first proper job for 10 mths and never get invited out for a drink, barely know a single person. and i feel like I've really TRIED! It is all about trusting people, I think, and I just can't do it. i was really badly bullied at school (aged 11 to 15) and I think that's what started it. What about you?
>
> I don't think my boss is very fond of me but yr right, I think I am just being paranoid about him not liking me. I think I make him uncomfortable.
>
> I've had LOADS of counselling (just count up... five or six different ones over the past six years) but never targeted at social anxiety or whatever. and I've tried Prozac, Cipramil (Celexa), Effexor, Dothiepin and Lofepramine. I'm on Lofepramine now with beta blockers. Seems to give me a bit more energy to get out of bed in the morning but that's about it.
>
> My ex-boyfriend (who I'm still mates with), is there for me by phone (he lives in a different town) and I've got a few other friends I can talk to on the phone a bit, but in this town there isn't really anyone.. lucky I found this board! Hope I haven't bored the a**e off you!
>
> GG xx
Posted by Emily Barrett on June 4, 2003, at 2:36:30
In reply to social anxiety/phobia - anyone else?, posted by girlygirl on May 24, 2003, at 9:10:27
Hi,
I can relate to a lot of the things that you wrote. Sometimes I don't know if it's just shyness or if it's social phobia. It's always been difficult for me to make friends. I know what you mean about feeling like an "outcast". I was treated as an outcast starting in junior high school, and still feel like an outcast 15 years later. I hope you find something that helps you. I'm still working on it. Good luck!
Posted by DC on June 4, 2003, at 17:01:59
In reply to social anxiety/phobia - anyone else?, posted by girlygirl on May 24, 2003, at 9:10:27
> I've just heard of this thing called social anxiety (I live in the UK, docs don't bother to tell you about these things - it takes more than 5 mins). And I think that's my problem. More than depression (maybe it's even the cause of my depression!).
>
> All the way through school, university twice over and now my first job, I have been incapable of forming relationships with people or handling group situations, to the point that it gets so bad I can't cope with it anymore, get really paranoid and withdrawn and then just jack it all in and stop attending. I have never been able to have more than one friend at a time (apart from during 6th form, when I was a drug user, which solved all my problems for a while).
>
> I now work in a job which involves A LOT of talking to people and my success relies on the relationships I build with people (I didn't realise this when I started). And I am making a BIG mess. My boss really dislikes me cos I am just not a "team player" and I am getting to the point where I am sitting in the office holding back tears and wanting to kill myself because I feel like such an outcast.
>
> Does this sound familiar to anyone? Is this social anxiety (or social phobia)? How do you treat it?
>
> AliceblueI can totally relate to practically everything you
wrote about. I have been so introverted for so long
I almost don't function well with social activities.
I do know that a lot of that stems from the "so-called
friends" I hung around a long time ago, constantly
putting me down to bring themselves up. And I am sure
some family issues there also. I don't really like
the fact that I have to have a few drinks before going
out. Mainly cause you are a few ahead of others and
to keep up usually end up a bit "tipsy" earlier LOL.It seems that when and if I do make a friend or friends
I am constantly worried about what others think of me.
And then I just seem to trail off so that I won't
face the rejection of them later. All through school
my books and arts and crafts kept me busy and too
myself. Not to mention that I did have my son really
young, so that pretty much put me as an outcast
at a rather early age.I finally went to see a doctor not wanting to be
"alone" anymore and he has started me on some meds.
I take Wellbutrin for the depression and was taking
Lexapro for the "social anxiety" but it made me too
tired all day. He has recently started me on
Zorloft (which my brother also takes), so I will
have to see how that works for me.I know we are all different, but hopefully you can
find something or even someone that can help you
understand and find a way to help you through this.Best to you.
DC
Posted by daizy on June 7, 2003, at 12:18:14
In reply to Re: social anxiety/phobia - anyone else? » girlygirl, posted by DC on June 4, 2003, at 17:01:59
Good luck to you DC, if you ever need support you will find it here!
Posted by noa on June 7, 2003, at 16:04:17
In reply to Re: social anxiety/phobia - anyone else?, posted by Emily Barrett on June 4, 2003, at 2:36:30
>Sometimes I don't know if it's just shyness or if it's social phobia.
I don't think there can really be a clear distinction between what is a normal trait variation and what is a problem requiring treatment, but I think the best way to decide this is to ask yourself how much it gets in the way of your ability to function in your life.
For me, psychotherapy helped a lot for most aspects of social anxiety. Social anxiety isn't what got me into treatment, though. It was depression. But I think they go hand in hand for me. It helped a lot to learn to recognize the anxiety signals in my body and then to not automatically interpret them in the old ways, and to use strategies to cope. Also, I've learned to respect my own preferences about what kinds of social situations to participate in and not. I have come to see some of the problem as having something to do with how I process sensory stimuli, so for instance, very noisy situations, or very crowded situations--I allow myself to try to avoid if possible. I also know that I have difficulty processing what someone is saying if there is too much auditory distraction around me. I think that this adds to the anxiety that I experience in certain situations---getting nervous because I'm trying so hard to listen to someone and understand what they are saying and screen out all the other noise that is getting in the way. I guess visual distractions are also a problem, but I have been better at learning how to screen them by keeping my eyes focused intently on what I'm trying to focus on. When I was a teenager, the glitzy malls were starting to pop up, and "going to the mall" became an activity. I used to find them rather overstimulating, and although I would go, I don't think I enjoyed it as much as my friends. There are some malls I won't go to even now. And some that I do go to but with a kind of patterned "itinerary" of the stores I need to see, rather than just meandering. All those lights and things--too much.
But for me, the auditory is much worse. But I am so much better at managing it now. First by avoiding the situations that are over-the-top overstimulating. And in ordinary situations, like at work, I am just more assertive about it. So for instance, once at work there was a large meeting and then the boss told certain people to stay afterward for a brief update on something. Well, all the rest of the big crowd was still hanging around in this large room, and the smaller group of us was kind of huddling in one part of the room. The boss was giving us information but all around us it was still so noisy. I just raised my hand and kind of assertively interrupted to say that I was having difficulty processing what she was saying because of all of the noise in the room. So, she asked the other people to just wait quietly for 3 minutes while we went over the briefing and then they could hang out and socialize more. People complied and she got her info to us and it was done. I admit it took some guts of me to do that,and since no one in the smaller huddle said anything to me about it afterward, I assume I was the only one to whom it mattered. That may be because I was new there and maybe they had all grown accustomed to this practice of huddling and trying to shout so as to be heard above the ambient noise. I don't know. I don't really care. All I know is that it was a dysfunctional situation for me and it was worth trying to call it to her attention. And it worked.
At work, I tend to close my door more because of the auditory distractibility. That came up as an issue in my evaluation a few years ago. Apparently one of my team-mates had complained. It appeared in my eval as a vague statement of "complaints have been received" which of course irked me a lot. And it went on to draw assumptions as to why my door was closed, that were baseless. I simply told my boss the real reason and then put up a greeting system on my door with changeable signs that say things like "I'm here, please knock" and "stepped out, back in a few minutes" and "meeting in progress, do not disturb" (which I also sometimes use when I'm on important calls), etc. and I made a big display, calling all my team-mates to see my new sign system and explain that it had come to my attention that it was a problem for others that my door is closed sometimes, and that I need to keep my door closed because I am auditorally distractible, etc. and that, by the way, if anyone ever has concerns about me that I'd like them to come directly to me to discuss it before deciding to go above me to my supervisor. The part I loved is the looks on the faces of the two people who I had and continue to have a good idea were the ones who complained about my door being closed.
Anyway, I surely digressed here, probably because workplace frustrations are on my mind big time lately, but all of this is to illustrate that I decided I do not have to conform to being just like everyone else. Other people are able to work with their doors open. Fine for them. I can't, and I needed to correct their misinterpretations of why my door was closed. Same with social events. I can't, nor do I want to, avoid all social events that take me out of my comfort zone, but I am able to feel like I can set limits and not subject myself to situations that are extremely challenging for me and set my social anxiety off in a big way. And with the obligatory social appearances, sometimes there are ways to mediate the challenge--you know, arrive late, leave early, or take breaks (sometimes I go outside for fresh air, or take bathroom breaks a lot, etc.), find someone who is an ally you can stick with, etc., or even take on a specific role that gets you out of the main fray by offering to help in some way. Ever notice how some people like to go right for the kitchen at a party and offer to help? That is how they are dealing with their anxiety, although they might not even know it! Others go right for the bar, of course, because as much as people say they like to be at parties, I think that many cannot handle it without liquor.
I guess I also have to add that age helps in getting more assertive about taking care of my needs and feeling entitled not to have to fit in so much. Back in college, I was so quiet in classes. I even felt like I wasn't really part of the class, just observing--that all the other students were the real students, and they knew what they were doing there and felt free to participate. I was so easily intimidated by just about everything back then. Now, it is hard to shut me up sometimes in meetings. There are still things that intimidate me, for sure, but nothing like when I was younger. I think it is experience that helps, because it gives you a bigger perspective on what is really important, too, so all of the things that add to feeling intimidated in social situations when we are young, are in much better perspective now.
But as I said, social anxiety isn't my most debilitating problem--depression is. For people who have severe social anxiety, I think some may find that therapy and aging isn't enough, and that medication can help a lot.
Posted by WorryGirl on June 13, 2003, at 9:36:14
In reply to social anxiety/phobia - anyone else?, posted by girlygirl on May 24, 2003, at 9:10:27
> I've just heard of this thing called social anxiety (I live in the UK, docs don't bother to tell you about these things - it takes more than 5 mins). And I think that's my problem. More than depression (maybe it's even the cause of my depression!).
>
> All the way through school, university twice over and now my first job, I have been incapable of forming relationships with people or handling group situations, to the point that it gets so bad I can't cope with it anymore, get really paranoid and withdrawn and then just jack it all in and stop attending. I have never been able to have more than one friend at a time (apart from during 6th form, when I was a drug user, which solved all my problems for a while).
>
> I now work in a job which involves A LOT of talking to people and my success relies on the relationships I build with people (I didn't realise this when I started). And I am making a BIG mess. My boss really dislikes me cos I am just not a "team player" and I am getting to the point where I am sitting in the office holding back tears and wanting to kill myself because I feel like such an outcast.
>
> Does this sound familiar to anyone? Is this social anxiety (or social phobia)? How do you treat it?
>
> Aliceblue
Hi Alice,
Yes, I understand what you're going through. I have recently become better friends with someone and it has helped me a lot but I still struggle terribly in group situations.I think much of it is that some people just do not thrive in group situations; they do better one on one or in very small groups.
I know there are medications to help, but I can't take them because of my recent BP diagnosis. Drugs like Paxil can make my mood swings even worse.
I belive that Dinah stated somewhere that when in large group situations, she seeks out someone who looks even more uncomfortable than her, which makes things easier.
Since joining this board, I am surprised and relieved to know how many others out there have social anxiety.
You will always have friends here, and I have received so much great input. I hope things improve for you. If your job depends upon a lot of socialization maybe you could find out if there is a course or through therapy work on your social skills. Back when I was working I would've given anything to take a course like that, even though I am absolutely TERRIFIED of public speaking it could've really helped.
Take care
Posted by DC on June 13, 2003, at 16:17:42
In reply to Re: social anxiety/phobia - anyone else? » girlygirl, posted by WorryGirl on June 13, 2003, at 9:36:14
> > I've just heard of this thing called social anxiety (I live in the UK, docs don't bother to tell you about these things - it takes more than 5 mins). And I think that's my problem. More than depression (maybe it's even the cause of my depression!).
> >
> > All the way through school, university twice over and now my first job, I have been incapable of forming relationships with people or handling group situations, to the point that it gets so bad I can't cope with it anymore, get really paranoid and withdrawn and then just jack it all in and stop attending. I have never been able to have more than one friend at a time (apart from during 6th form, when I was a drug user, which solved all my problems for a while).
> >
> > I now work in a job which involves A LOT of talking to people and my success relies on the relationships I build with people (I didn't realise this when I started). And I am making a BIG mess. My boss really dislikes me cos I am just not a "team player" and I am getting to the point where I am sitting in the office holding back tears and wanting to kill myself because I feel like such an outcast.
> >
> > Does this sound familiar to anyone? Is this social anxiety (or social phobia)? How do you treat it?
> >
> > Aliceblue
>>
> Hi Alice,
> Yes, I understand what you're going through. I have recently become better friends with someone and it has helped me a lot but I still struggle terribly in group situations.
>
> I think much of it is that some people just do not thrive in group situations; they do better one on one or in very small groups.
>
> I know there are medications to help, but I can't take them because of my recent BP diagnosis. Drugs like Paxil can make my mood swings even worse.
>
> I belive that Dinah stated somewhere that when in large group situations, she seeks out someone who looks even more uncomfortable than her, which makes things easier.
>
> Since joining this board, I am surprised and relieved to know how many others out there have social anxiety.
>
> You will always have friends here, and I have received so much great input. I hope things improve for you. If your job depends upon a lot of socialization maybe you could find out if there is a course or through therapy work on your social skills. Back when I was working I would've given anything to take a course like that, even though I am absolutely TERRIFIED of public speaking it could've really helped.
>
> Take care
>Even though I am taking medication for my social
anxiety, it seems to be a bit better now. But,
quite honestly I think that I am genetically a
"loner" :-) Exactly how you stated it Worrygirl,
some just do better in smaller group surroundings.
But, why I say that I think it is a herederity
thing with me is because I recently started really
thinking about how most of my family are. I came
to the realization that almost all of them are
not that good with the whole "social" scene.
Especially my grandmother and uncle in the Keys,
whom I am the closest to. Who knows, maybe I did
inherit this "trait" :-)
Posted by daizy on June 14, 2003, at 9:39:24
In reply to Re: social anxiety/phobia - anyone else?, posted by DC on June 13, 2003, at 16:17:42
> Even though I am taking medication for my social
> anxiety, it seems to be a bit better now. But,
> quite honestly I think that I am genetically a
> "loner" :-) Exactly how you stated it Worrygirl,
> some just do better in smaller group surroundings.
> But, why I say that I think it is a herederity
> thing with me is because I recently started really
> thinking about how most of my family are. I came
> to the realization that almost all of them are
> not that good with the whole "social" scene.
> Especially my grandmother and uncle in the Keys,
> whom I am the closest to. Who knows, maybe I did
> inherit this "trait" :-)
I think that sometimes too, I wonder If you do inherit things like that, or is it just learned behaviour when growing up? Both my parents are antisocial, they dont socialise unless people come to see them. I hope I dont end up being like them forever.
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