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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Giget on May 8, 2003, at 13:32:45
This is my first post here, but I have been an onlooker for a while.
I am EXTREMLY depressed and my phic is working on meds with me. I have been put on Zyprexa, with 80 pounds weight gain, Effexor, with terrible rash, stomach problems, fever, no help for depression and other really bad side effects, and now he put me on Wellbrutin, which needs time to get into my system.
My question is how do you hold down a job when you can bearly wash your hair? My work is seeing problems and they offered me some time off, not firing just some time off. I want to take it but I called the phic, who is only in on Mondays by the way, and the nurse sounded like she did not think he would document my problem for work.
I have been living hour by hour, but I am sinking at work. All I do is put all my energy into going to work and going home to bed.
How do you keep a job?
Posted by ayuda on May 8, 2003, at 14:02:27
In reply to How do you work, keep a job, with Depression?, posted by Giget on May 8, 2003, at 13:32:45
> This is my first post here, but I have been an onlooker for a while.
>
> I am EXTREMLY depressed and my phic is working on meds with me. I have been put on Zyprexa, with 80 pounds weight gain, Effexor, with terrible rash, stomach problems, fever, no help for depression and other really bad side effects, and now he put me on Wellbrutin, which needs time to get into my system.
>
> My question is how do you hold down a job when you can bearly wash your hair? My work is seeing problems and they offered me some time off, not firing just some time off. I want to take it but I called the phic, who is only in on Mondays by the way, and the nurse sounded like she did not think he would document my problem for work.
>
> I have been living hour by hour, but I am sinking at work. All I do is put all my energy into going to work and going home to bed.
>
> How do you keep a job?
>
>I'll tell you what worked for me -- I had no other place to turn to if I didn't have that paycheck. I had no "home" to go running to, I was completely on my own, and too proud to be homeless. That kept me going to work every day, regardless of how I felt. Knowing that there's no alternative -- no mental health leave, no one to stay with if you lose your apartment, no way to pay for your health care if you lose your job -- goes a long way towards picking yourself up every day and getting to the office. At least for me it did, and I've suffered from depression and anxiety since childhood.
Posted by Kar on May 8, 2003, at 14:15:48
In reply to How do you work, keep a job, with Depression?, posted by Giget on May 8, 2003, at 13:32:45
Hey- sorry to hear you're having such a crappy time of it. Many of us have been or currently are going through this too. It's not a simple answer.
With me, I HAD to stop working over 2 years ago but I'm very lucky in that I have support so it's been ok.
>time to get into my system.
One of the most frustrating aspects, isnt it?>My work is seeing problems and they offered me some time off
Would it be short term disability?
Wow- that's so nuce that they are that understanding...
>document my problem for work.
!!!!!!!??? Why not? COuld it be that she's just speaking for him (for some ridiculous reason)? You can leave voicemail for him, right? I hope...
If he won't do this, (and I know that was not your question, but...) then he is not a responsible doc! What are your options?So my roundabout answer would be, i guess, that sometimes you can't work for a while. but it sounds like you're still trying to get the right mix of meds, yes?
I think someone posted not that long ago about feeling like everyone else on the board was doing a lot better than she was (i.e. holding down a job, etc.). I have felt that before too. But I wonder how many lurkers are out there...probably tons.
Posted by whiterabbit on May 8, 2003, at 21:59:22
In reply to Hi Giget, posted by Kar on May 8, 2003, at 14:15:48
It sounds like your employer is willing to work with you on this, which is terrific, and I think you should take advantage. Forget the nurse, you talk to the doctor and see what he says. You might have to make an appointment, though, if the nurse won't put you through to him directly. Get in there to see him as soon as possible and let him say what he will or won't approve.
My next suggestion is this: is there any way to reduce most of your workload without separating yourself from work completely? Is there work that you can do from home, or is it possible to go into work for just a few hours a week? Having been in your position, I find this to be the best option. I absolutely agree that you should take some time off, that you shouldn't be working full-time. I tried to keep working at my high-stress job (the only x-ray tech for 5 orthopedic doctors)
even after it became obvious to everyone that I wasn't well, and it damn near destroyed me. The worst part is, nobody appreciated my "heroics", and it was just plain stupid to push myself so far and so hard past the breaking point. And break I did, yes ma'am. It was messy.However, if you disappear from work completely for too long, your anxiety level will start to build up again as you approach your return-to-work date. You'll feel out-of-touch and your co-workers will feel strange for awhile, too. So if you could show up at the office a couple of times every week and do some kind of light duty, or even just bring in donuts, catch up on a little gossip and take home some paperwork, that's the optimal solution. In my humble opinion.
-Gracie
Posted by Emme on May 8, 2003, at 22:14:44
In reply to How do you work, keep a job, with Depression?, posted by Giget on May 8, 2003, at 13:32:45
Hi there. If your employer is sympathetic, then get what you need from the doctor and give yourself a break. During last summer I stayed at home for a little while. It was only two weeks and I was officially "working from home", but just removing some of the pressure for a short time helped a lot. I think Gracie's suggestion of keeping some contact but reducing your workload for a time is a good idea. Take care.
Emme
Posted by Kar on May 9, 2003, at 6:03:40
In reply to IMHO, posted by whiterabbit on May 8, 2003, at 21:59:22
Hey. My deal was that I found that staying at work caused me further stress too...I had a job that required constant contact with people (egads, no!!)...my employer was willing to work with me too. She was very understanding at first. Actually for quite some time. And then i went PT. But i was really starting to mess up and cancel appts left and right and thought for the sake of my clients (and ME)that I needed to leave. I can't say that i definitely would have/could have if I didn't have support, but there were certainly no environmental aspects (like the fact that I HAD to keep a job) that would enable me to feel better and "push myself". At the time. I guess we don't know enough info about Giget's job or support system...maybe I missed a post?
hang in, Giget
Posted by bookgurl99 on May 10, 2003, at 0:45:22
In reply to How do you work, keep a job, with Depression?, posted by Giget on May 8, 2003, at 13:32:45
Even when I was my most depressed, I found that work was an escape from my depression and ruminating. (Can't plan a suicide when you're filling out paperwork.) Even when I acted fake and happy in front of coworkers, it was like I was _practicing_ not being severely depressed. It was really an escape for me. But, I have a job with low responsibility.
If your boss is working with you, then go ahead and take some time off. But I think the concept of staying in touch with your employers weekly makes good sense.
Remember that depression plus med changes like the kinds you're going through can really affect us, and make us not be who we 'really' are, but just us going through a hard time. You don't have to identify strongly with this version of you, as long as you let this sort of 'real' you in the back of your mind take care of you right now. Don't beat yourself up for needing help right now.
Good luck, and let us know how it goes. I'lll be thinking about you. :D
Posted by Giget on May 12, 2003, at 15:38:10
In reply to Re: How do you work, keep a job, with Depression?, posted by bookgurl99 on May 10, 2003, at 0:45:22
Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement.
I have a high stress job dealing with customers, budgets, meeting and computer software people under me.
My job is lacking and it is just so hard to sit here everyday. I have so much work to do and I am bearly keeping my head above water. I just wish it would all go away, work that is. Everyone keeps asking if I should get a different job. I don't know if that will help. I love my job here and have been here for 5 years on and off, because of college. A less stressful job would be nice, but I would not be finacial stable.Anyways, enough gabbing. The doctor still has not called me back. I am going to see a new theripist tonight though. I just started going down the list from my insurance company and going to meetings. This is my second person since friday and 5th over all, so I hope this is the last.
Giget
Posted by Dr. Bob on May 19, 2003, at 12:36:00
In reply to How do you work, keep a job, with Depression?, posted by Giget on May 8, 2003, at 13:32:45
Re: How do you work, keep a job, with Depression?
Posted by Ellie's Mom on May 17, 2003, at 23:40:22
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030505/msgs/225111.html
I am struggling with the same issues. If you're organized enough you might want to look into becoming self-employed or find a trade where you make your own hours. I'm a professional photographer, and if it weren't for the freedom to schedule my day with flex time, I couldn't have held a job this year. I have very understanding/supportive clients, so that helps, too.
Maybe backing down to parttime work is another good option. I made the very smart choice of moving from a high stress staff position to this new one, and I'm finally on the right track to getting well again. Maybe just finding a lower-stress environment would help? I gave up very high-profile, luctrative work for a better quality of life, and I haven't regretted it for a second.
Outside activities that are positive help me also, although I hesitate to commit to anything too far in advance knowing that I could wake up any given morning and feel like I've been hit by a truck. I'm sure you know what that feels like.
Hope you find relief.
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Re: How do you work, keep a job, with Depression? » fallsfall
Posted by Barbara Cat on May 19, 2003, at 12:17:49
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030505/msgs/225338.html
I also was a software engineer and am currently out of work, initially thanks to Short Term Disability which lasted 12 weeks. I could not qualify for Long Term Disability because I stopped working before the waiting period was up. When I stared to run out of time I tried to go back to work thinking I'd wing it as long as possible. Luckly, I got laid off and with the rotten economy have been on unemployment since 11/01. I've tried to go back to work on contract assignments and have not been able to last more than 1 month. These two years have been stressful because of money issues, but worth more than gold because of the healing and insights gained. I know I do not want to nor can go back to corporate high-tech hell. I don't know what else I can do but I'm learning to trust that the answers will come, just like the mortgage gets paid by some miracle every month.
If any of you are hitting the wall, you simply can't go on in the present mode without doing great harm to your body. I ignored the warning signs until I eventually had not only bipolar II to contend with, but severely disabling fibromyalgia as well. You may be able to push through it when you're young and resilient, but it will take its toll when you're older. Your first priority must be self preservation and you will find a way, get help, whatever, once you truly realize that you need time to heal. You owe it to yourself to at least talk to a good disability attorney. They don't get paid unless you do and it's a max of $5k.
You will need a backup source of financial aid while you're waiting for the determination. If your company has Long Term Disability, like fallfalls said, you'd be unwise not to take advantage of it. I'm still in the process of appealing my 2nd turndown (typical and the reason you need a lawyer) after 1 year waiting. I will continue to appeal until it's granted because I know I can no longer sustain a 40 hour work week on a consistent basis, no matter what it is I'm doing.
No, it won't be as much as you're making now but you will learn to simplify and get by on it and you can still work part time. Also, once you're accepted for disability you can partake of the benefits of Vocational Rehab which may pay for retraining schooling in another less aggravating field.
This is the end of the thread.
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