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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by dogboy on April 1, 2003, at 4:53:26
OK, here goes...
I am really lonely. It's been 8 years since I was last in a relationship. The problem is that although I get on well with women, and they often think I am 'lovely', I seem to lack some essential element of hetero sex appeal. When I ask women out it always goes pear-shaped (and they never ask me out).
The funny thing is that gay men find me really attractive. It would be easier to buy the whole 'your self-esteem is too low' explanation if it wasn't for the fact that I have men swarming round me like flies. I'm finding it hard to avoid coming to the conclusion that gay men just simply value my qualities more than women do!
So... the big question... maybe I should actually think about going out with a guy? I'm not sexually attracted to men, but I am dog tired of being lonely. My friend has made it clear he 'likes' me, I really like him (in a non-sexual way) and he is extremely sweet. At this point I am grateful for the attention.
Worth a try, or asking for trouble?
Posted by justyourlaugh on April 1, 2003, at 8:14:54
In reply to Dilemma, posted by dogboy on April 1, 2003, at 4:53:26
some people go their whole lives yearing for a friend...dont destoy what you have by pretending its something its not...
i feel bad that you feel so alone...
my "mate"and have not been sexual for about a year,,
he is still my friend...
peace jyl
Posted by Tabitha on April 1, 2003, at 14:02:31
In reply to Dilemma, posted by dogboy on April 1, 2003, at 4:53:26
don't trade sex for friendship, you'll just feel used. If gay men like you, you must be good looking. maybe you're just sending the wrong message to women.. maybe ask a female friend who knows you want kind of vibes you give?
Posted by noa on April 1, 2003, at 19:53:04
In reply to Re: Dilemma, posted by Tabitha on April 1, 2003, at 14:02:31
Explore the topic for a while before you act on it. Are you in therapy? This is a great topic for therapy.
Ask yourself, what do I think my friend's expectations would be if I said yes to going out with him, and is that something I would consider? How would I feel if I did explore that route? How would he feel if I went out but tried to keep it non-sexual/non-romantic? How would I feel? If I go out with him, am I being realistic in thinking that I can keep it on my terms rather than on his? Am I not sure what my terms are?
I really suggest exploring the issues internally before risking a good friendship.
This is the end of the thread.
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