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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on March 17, 2003, at 10:24:29
My weekend reprieve is over, and people are making appointments to yell at me again. I'd better get to work.
Posted by Tabitha on March 17, 2003, at 13:39:20
In reply to Ok, I must stop procrastinating, posted by Dinah on March 17, 2003, at 10:24:29
do people actually yell at you at your job?
Posted by sienna on March 17, 2003, at 15:33:10
In reply to Ok, I must stop procrastinating, posted by Dinah on March 17, 2003, at 10:24:29
Im sorry you have to work and people are yelling. thats just not right. icki.
sienna
Posted by Dinah on March 17, 2003, at 16:50:38
In reply to Re: can't it wait til tomorrow?, posted by Tabitha on March 17, 2003, at 13:39:20
Well, my definition of yelling is probably overly broad, and includes any harsh and angry words spoken to me. I don't think voices have to be raised to a certain decibel level for me to feel yelled at.
It's amazing. I knew the appointment was going to be made. But when I got the date and time, my anxiety went thru the roof, and the klonopin didn't work enuf. So now I have the added shame of self injury to add to the shame of failure at work. :( Not bad tho, really not. Just scratches. I didn't give in to the worst impulses. So maybe it's a good news bad news thing.
Posted by shar on March 17, 2003, at 21:57:00
In reply to Re: yelling and shame and....., posted by Dinah on March 17, 2003, at 16:50:38
> So now I have the added shame of self injury to add to the shame of failure at work. :( Not bad tho, really not. Just scratches. I didn't give in to the worst impulses.
>So maybe it's a good news bad news thing.
.........Nuttin good about it.
.........Nothing I can think of is worth your doing even the tiniest bit of damage to yourself, to put yourself one down to anything or anyone that way. I know the impulse, and the action, been there, done that. But, it still pisses me off that our brains (chemically or otherwise) make self-harm a better option than throwing a great big old fu*king fit about something!
........Screw them!
Shar
Posted by Dinah on March 18, 2003, at 4:06:45
In reply to Re: yelling and shame and..... » Dinah, posted by shar on March 17, 2003, at 21:57:00
I assure you the decision not to fight it this time was completely self serving. :)
I spent the greater part of the week before last paralyzed from fighting those urges. Unable to get anything done. I couldn't afford to be laid up for another week. Today was mostly shot, since I felt groggy and disoriented the rest of the day. But i sincerely hope that I can work tomorrow.
Thank you for your thoughts, Shar. I made a promise not to do this, and I feel really bad about breaking it. I wish all those better coping skills would stick with me when I needed them.
(I don't deal with failure and criticism at *all* well.)
Posted by noa on March 19, 2003, at 17:07:56
In reply to Re: yelling and shame and....., posted by Dinah on March 17, 2003, at 16:50:38
Dinah, how are you today?
Posted by Dinah on March 19, 2003, at 17:54:07
In reply to Re: yelling and shame and..... » Dinah, posted by noa on March 19, 2003, at 17:07:56
Yesterday was rough, today a bit less so. Fewer phone calls, and more accomplished. And how bad I feel seems to be directly related to that, at least at the moment.
But I didn't cut again.
I've got my fingers crossed for tomorrow, and an emergency plan in place if need be. So there's probably a limit to how bad tomorrow can be.
Wish me luck.
Posted by noa on March 20, 2003, at 16:38:35
In reply to Re: yelling and shame and..... » noa, posted by Dinah on March 19, 2003, at 17:54:07
Dinah, glad the day was somewhat better.
You know, a lot of the time management/organization books I looked at over the past year (trying to improve my organization skills) talk about being able to control those phone calls through some kind of gate keeping, so that you have certain times of day when you do the phone calls,and aren't bombarded with them throughout the day, having them interrupt your other work, trains of thought, etc. Is there any way you can channel your calls into one segment of the day (have messages taken, call back then, etc.) so you can feel more control over your time at least, and also prep yourself for the calls?
Posted by Dinah on March 20, 2003, at 18:05:19
In reply to Re: yelling and shame and....., posted by noa on March 20, 2003, at 16:38:35
That's a good idea. Unfortunately most everyone has my home number now, and I kind of automatically answer. I should let the machine take it more often.
Posted by sienna on March 20, 2003, at 18:33:39
In reply to Re: yelling and shame and..... » noa, posted by Dinah on March 20, 2003, at 18:05:19
can you get caller ID so you know who it is.
i only take calls on my cell phone. i have a home # but i dont answer it cuz its never ever anyone i want to talk to. and if its someone i do then they know to call my cell. but my cell shows the phone number and i can decide whether to answer or let voicemail pick it up.take care
sienna
Posted by Dinah on March 21, 2003, at 3:29:48
In reply to Re: yelling and shame and....., posted by sienna on March 20, 2003, at 18:33:39
Need to use it, I guess. :)
Posted by sienna on March 21, 2003, at 18:31:58
In reply to Re: I've got it..., posted by Dinah on March 21, 2003, at 3:29:48
Maybe try it for a week or a couple days and just say, im going to look at the caller ID and make a concious desicion wether to pick up the phone or not.? I dont know maybe that will help an dthen you can deciede after that how that felt?
sienna
Posted by shar on March 21, 2003, at 20:24:04
In reply to Re: I've got it..., posted by sienna on March 21, 2003, at 18:31:58
That's what people I talk to hear me say because I NEVER answer my telephone. I don't even have a nice message like "Please leave a message for Shar after the beep" or anything. Just the default mechanized, hollow 'record message after the tone.'
Then, my friends will say Hello, this is xxx, pick up...
Then, I say, Hi, I picked up.
Dinah: I'm with Noa--let the machine get it except for designated times where you check your messages and return calls.
Get cold about it. If you were in the shower when the call came in, they'd survive without you til you called back.
S
Posted by noa on March 21, 2003, at 23:37:41
In reply to Hi, I picked up..., posted by shar on March 21, 2003, at 20:24:04
I refuse to be slave to a ringing telephone. At work, I usually cannot turn it off or use the "do not disturb" because it is looked down on by supervisors, but once in a while I do put it on "DND" because I have to finish something and can't with all the interruptions. One way I definitely go against the office culture is that when I am meeting with someone, I almost always let it get picked up by voice mail because I can't do calls in the middle of meetings, and like my focus to stay on the discussion at hand, and it can seem rude to the person I'm meeting with, anyway. One time, a colleague noticed and actually thanked me for not getting the phone. It is do-able to ignore the phone at work because I have the ring volume on a rather soft level.
At home, I usually leave the ring off. I check every once in a while to see if the red light is blinking and look at the caller ID. But when my dad was in hospital, I felt I had to leave the ringer on. Other than that the only time I have my home phone ringer on is if I make a call and expect a call back very soon and it is something important that I need to answer.
I find the ringing phone rather jarring. I don't like the feeling of having to jump to answer. Sometimes I like talking on the phone but often I just like some peace and quiet.
Some people think it's strange, but it makes me happier and calmer.
This is the end of the thread.
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