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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phil on December 29, 2002, at 19:33:51
"How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?"
by Hiroyuki NishigakiI just saw this on Amazon. He's serious, got 5 stars from a Top 50 reviewer.
I hope this guy doesn't host a morning show demonstrating his method.
Has anyone read this? Wouldn't it look great on your coffee table. Maybe throw a dinner party and leave a few copies around the house.
Posted by Gabbix2 on December 29, 2002, at 19:45:53
In reply to Constrict Your Anus!!!, posted by Phil on December 29, 2002, at 19:33:51
But reading just the titles of your two posts one after each other sure made me laugh...
Posted by Mr Cushing on December 29, 2002, at 19:46:07
In reply to Constrict Your Anus!!!, posted by Phil on December 29, 2002, at 19:33:51
See, it's small things like this that make life worthwhile. God, it feels good to just laugh till your ribs hurt....Here, Phil forgot to post the Review of the book....
I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway. (lol... Just standing there on the subway constricting my anus) I have known a 70-year-old man who has practiced it for 20 years. As a result, he has a good complexion and has grown 20 years younger. His eyes sparkle. He is full of vigor, happiness and joy. He has neither complained nor born a grudge under any circumstance. Furthermore, he can make #### three times in succession without drawing out. (K, this part just scares the crap out of me... do you really want to picture a 70-year old man doing this? Furthermore, if you were the reviewer, would you actually care to discuss this with this man?)
In addition, he also can have burned a strong, beautiful fire within his abdomen. It can burn out the dirty stickiness of his body, release his immaterial fiber or third attention, which has been confined to his stickiness. Then, he can shoot out his immaterial fiber or third attention to an object, concentrate on it and attain happy lucky feeling through the success of concentration. (Ummmm.... O K there....)
If you don't know concentration, which gives you peculiar pleasure, your life looks like hell. (Jeez, thanks for the reminder) lol....
So now, whenever your medication or emotional states have you in a sedated/depressed frame of mind and you can't focus your attention onto anything seriously.... just think about constricting your anus 100 times no matter where you are......
Posted by Phil on December 29, 2002, at 20:10:14
In reply to I'm not sure about the method.., posted by Gabbix2 on December 29, 2002, at 19:45:53
Good point. haha Do we get extra points here???
They said the author's, he is serious by the way, language is all screwed up because he used a tranlation program that had a few bugs.
Some reviewer said he didn't have to do the exercises, just reading the book totally cracked him up.Phil
Posted by Mr Cushing on December 29, 2002, at 20:29:38
In reply to Re: I'm not sure about the method.., posted by Phil on December 29, 2002, at 20:10:14
I saw this one at the bottom of the page for "constricting your anus". Maybe the whole idea of "constricting your anus" to relieve depression is based on the Zen beliefs?
Here, the review from this book...
Editorial Reviews
Book Description
Reepah Gud Wan was the Chinese Buddhist monk who founded Zen more than a millenium ago. The recent discovery of a rice paper scroll in Taiwan sheds new light on the true origins of Zen--and introduces us to the teachings of Reepah Gud Wan, as recorded by a disciple, who in fact was Reepah's brother.About the Author
No one knows much about Reepah Gud Wan, who lived before the 10th century in China and Japan, except that he was a legitimate Buddhist monk who tired of the inability of his students to grasp the essence of his teaching. In order to shake them up, he introduced the Zen of Farting, expecting his students to see the joke, laugh at it, and then understand his Buddhist teachings better. Unfortunately, they failed to get the joke--and zen was the result.
Posted by OddipusRex on December 29, 2002, at 21:08:26
In reply to Constrict Your Anus!!!, posted by Phil on December 29, 2002, at 19:33:51
That's funny....then there's always the inimitable Alex Chiu........
I think resurrection is very important to me because I am, like everyone, afraid of death. If one day I am to die, I want to be able to return. It is a waste of precious knowledge and time for one to die. Look at all of these years of knowledge I have acquired. I can't bring any if I die. So I will do all I can to keep alive! People who call me "mad man" can go ahead and die. See if I care. They rather age and die instead of trusting Alex Chiu's new technology just because they think selling the Eternal Life Rings for $19 is a big scam, and they don't want to lose the 19 bucks. They rather spend the 19 bucks in a restaurant for dinner. These stubborn people do nothing to contribute to human race. These people, in my eyes, are pests. I think these close minded people deserve to die because they traded their precious life over 19 dollars. For that reason, I offer people free instruction on how to build the eternal life devices thinking I might save a few lives. Yet people email me and complain daily! Why are these people still alive?I know what others think of me. They think I am mad. My grandmother, who loves my eternal life rings because the rings brought her out of danger from death when she became extremely ill one year ago, and kept her lively and healthy ever since, still thinks I am crazy. She saw with her own eyes that my rings helped Crystal Shu regrow her hair from ground up. Yet she always insisted that I should go back to school and get a degree in computer so that I can become a multi millionaire just like my uncle who's company he works for went into the stock market.
I am mad. And I am proud to be mad. People like us are the ones who constructed modern society. We are the real founding fathers of so-called the human race. We Chinese didn't invent much, but at least we have invented few most important ones: compass, fire work, cannon, paper, silk, banking, and physical immortality.........
quote from Alexchiu.com
Posted by Mr Cushing on December 29, 2002, at 21:52:55
In reply to Eternal Life also available, posted by OddipusRex on December 29, 2002, at 21:08:26
That's not funny... that's just scary.... First the Elves, and now this self-admitting Madman who promises eternal life.How do you expect anybody to get to sleep at night?
Posted by dreamerz on December 30, 2002, at 2:51:19
In reply to Re: Eternal Life also available, posted by Mr Cushing on December 29, 2002, at 21:52:55
surround you while you sleep and whisper "eternal life . eternal life..."
Posted by Mr Cushing on December 30, 2002, at 9:13:50
In reply to Re: Elves that.... » Mr Cushing, posted by dreamerz on December 30, 2002, at 2:51:19
With those scary rings on their pinkies......
Posted by dreamerz on December 30, 2002, at 18:08:28
In reply to Re: Elves that...., posted by Mr Cushing on December 30, 2002, at 9:13:50
Posted by syringachalet on December 30, 2002, at 19:22:38
In reply to Blood stained winkle pickers (nm), posted by dreamerz on December 30, 2002, at 18:08:28
Since everyone whom is posting on this is in a very light-hearted mood, you should probably
know that many ER doctors use 'the anal wink' to evaluate the patency of the spinal cord in accident victims with lower limb paralysis...By inserting a lubed gloved finger into the anus and tapping either of the male glans or the female clitoris, this autonomic reflex is a cardinal sign that the spinal cord is still patent to the pelvic region.
Care is taken not to vegelly stimulate the area as it not only increases the chances the patient to vomit and aspirate but also increases intracranical pressure...Heres a wink for you...LOl
syringachalet
Posted by Phil on December 30, 2002, at 19:36:06
In reply to Re: Blood stained winkle pickers, posted by syringachalet on December 30, 2002, at 19:22:38
Hey!!! Not a bad topic for a first date. 96-97-98-99
Posted by Ted on December 30, 2002, at 23:11:01
In reply to Constrict Your Anus!!!, posted by Phil on December 29, 2002, at 19:33:51
It'll certainly cause horrible constipation!
Ted
Posted by Phil on December 31, 2002, at 8:10:40
In reply to Might cure depression, but.... » Phil, posted by Ted on December 30, 2002, at 23:11:01
Not good news..94-95-96-97
Posted by Peter S. on December 31, 2002, at 14:57:19
In reply to Constrict Your Anus!!!, posted by Phil on December 29, 2002, at 19:33:51
Having a firmly toned anus is a good way to impress the opposite sex. It's a great conversation starter.
I'm thinking about starting "anus building" competitions. Since Arnold Scharzenegger's movie career seems to be in the dumps, maybe he could act as spokesman.
Peter
Posted by OddipusRex on December 31, 2002, at 17:24:45
In reply to Re: Blood stained winkle pickers » syringachalet, posted by Phil on December 30, 2002, at 19:36:06
May the new year bring peace between the Teletubbies and the elfin faction.
This is the end of the thread.
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