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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by daizy on December 23, 2002, at 15:34:50
This will be my first christmas with depression, or whatever it is Ive got, and I can tell that everyone is uncomfortable around me. My mother doesnt know how to cope with my mood changes and my anger, so now she treats me like a child, also buys me things I dont want to try and make me happy, and gets upset when im not, which I feel very guilty about. I live at home and its just me and her, she is very intrusive (because of my eating disorder) I feel like I have no privacy. My brother and sister are also back for the hols. They keep pressurising me to go out with them. However I dont go out anywhere anymore and people are saying "are you agoraphobic or something?!" as if its a joke. I know an alcoholic and she's worse at christmas, but its really affecting me and I dont know how to tell her, she wont even admit she has a problem which angers me soooooo much. Im becoming increasingly paranoid and angry, and dont have a way to let it out which scares me. Im becoming distant even from myself, like im doing things I dont want to and thinking things that are totally weird. Am having more and more panic attacks also. Basically Im a wreck. I know I dont have any control over myself (because if I did I wouldnt be like this) and Im worried about what im going to do next....... does anyone have any help?
ps: Mr Cushing, your advise is needed!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by daizy on December 23, 2002, at 15:43:09
In reply to Worried, posted by daizy on December 23, 2002, at 15:34:50
Also forgot to mention that everyone of my family knows that Im acting differently and can see that Im in some pain, but wont bring the subject up. They keep acting like everything is normal when its not, kind of like forget about it and It'll go away. I need support not ignorance. I feel like im going to burst..........
(just letting my frustrations out, trying not to feel sorry for myself)
Posted by Mr Cushing on December 23, 2002, at 17:58:28
In reply to Worried, posted by daizy on December 23, 2002, at 15:34:50
Hey Daizy, from just reading this:Im becoming increasingly paranoid and angry, and dont have a way to let it out which scares me. Im becoming distant even from myself, like im doing things I dont want to and thinking things that are totally weird. Am having more and more panic attacks also. Basically Im a wreck. I know I dont have any control over myself (because if I did I wouldnt be like this) and Im worried about what im going to do next....... does anyone have any help?
You definitely need to be on some sort of medication first. From what you've described to me in this post and in other previous ones, you are most likely Bi-Polar and this won't go away on it's own and you need medication in order to control basically any of it. Once you're on the meds, then you should stop feeling "Paranoid", "Angry", stop suffering from panic attacks, and basically just come back down to Earth.
After you've stabilized you'll probably be able to think your way through the rest of the problems.
If you think you're going to do something that could put you or somebody else in danger, I would suggest a trip to the nearest Hospital's Emergency Room.
I don't know why you continue to fight against getting the help that you need. With medication you'll feel 100% better in time. Without, well, you'll probably just keep on getting worse and worse. From what you've described to me though, no amount of support or therapy or anything anybody could say will help change the way you're feeling. You need to act on this yourself.
Anyways babe, I'm writing this right now with a growing bulge on my elbow lol... Was walking the dogs, slipped on a patch of ice, and landed right on my elbow, my fingers are pretty much tingling right now...
If you need to get in touch with me though, just email me at Michael_Cushing@hotmail.com K? I always check that several times a day, but check this board only every so often.
I hope you do what's right for you...
Posted by mikhail99 on December 23, 2002, at 19:57:39
In reply to Worried, posted by daizy on December 23, 2002, at 15:34:50
> This will be my first christmas with depression, or whatever it is Ive got, and I can tell that everyone is uncomfortable around me. My mother doesnt know how to cope with my mood changes and my anger, so now she treats me like a child, also buys me things I dont want to try and make me happy, and gets upset when im not, which I feel very guilty about. I live at home and its just me and her, she is very intrusive (because of my eating disorder) I feel like I have no privacy. My brother and sister are also back for the hols. They keep pressurising me to go out with them. However I dont go out anywhere anymore and people are saying "are you agoraphobic or something?!" as if its a joke. I know an alcoholic and she's worse at christmas, but its really affecting me and I dont know how to tell her, she wont even admit she has a problem which angers me soooooo much. Im becoming increasingly paranoid and angry, and dont have a way to let it out which scares me. Im becoming distant even from myself, like im doing things I dont want to and thinking things that are totally weird. Am having more and more panic attacks also. Basically Im a wreck. I know I dont have any control over myself (because if I did I wouldnt be like this) and Im worried about what im going to do next....... does anyone have any help?
>
>
> ps: Mr Cushing, your advise is needed!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish someone could explain to me why families have to be so freaky when a loved one is having trouble????? It makes me nuts.Do you think it would help if you sat them all down and told them that you just aren't feeling well and when they pretend nothing's wrong, it makes you feel worse? Tell them you're trying to figure all of this out and instead of being intrusive or annoying, they could ask you from time to time what you need.
And just a thought, my outlet for anger is exercise which isn't always healthy but sometimes it's better than screaming at someone. Next time they're being clueless, try taking a walk? I hope that doesn't sound lame but it might help, at least temporarily. And Mr. Cushing was right, you do need to look into some help with this stuff. Medication isn't always the answer but it's saved a lot of lives!
Take care of yourself!
Posted by bookgurl99 on December 24, 2002, at 0:47:25
In reply to Worried, posted by daizy on December 23, 2002, at 15:34:50
*HUGS* Daizy. Sorry you're feeling so out of sorts.
I think it makes sense to feel stressed out. Not only do you have to be with your family of origin, but there are numerous chores to do (shopping, etc.), AND it's colder and darker out. I think retreating within yourself when you're faced with this stress makes sense.
To be honest, it sounds to me like you need to have fun and get lost in the moment of fun right now. Not a forced fun, genuine fun. If this means calling up a good friend and laughing on the phone, or having some wine (just a bit) 'til you loosen up and giggle, or going to see a Hollywood blockbuster, or exercise, then I say do it. I know it can be really hard when you're depressed, but you've gotta take care of yourself during the Holiday season more than ever
.Once again, *HUGS*. Just remember that you're not all alone and that there are people out here who understand what you're going through.
Posted by daizy on December 24, 2002, at 8:48:49
In reply to Re: Worried, posted by mikhail99 on December 23, 2002, at 19:57:39
Thank you Mr Cushing, mikhail99, bookgurl99 for responding to my post with some good advice. I got panicked and didnt have anyone to talk to or who understood where I was coming from, so thanx for your help.PS: Im definitely going back to the doctors after Xmas no matter what. HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!
This is the end of the thread.
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