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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Cheryl Barnacle on October 30, 2002, at 10:20:19
My husband of 22 years had a relapse of a serious mental illness a few months ago. In June 2001, after increasing paranoia and two suicide attempts, he was hospitalized and diagnosed with major depression with psychotic features(paranoia). His was on meds for over a year and tapered in July. His relapse means that we are now dealing with a chronic condition instead of a single event. I was forced to leave the area because he focused his paranoia on me(thought I was against him and working with the FBI) What sort of things should I do? I want to support, but I am too afraid to actually live with him as his wife again. I am also worn out myself, as the relapse was a total shock. He is back on meds, (court ordered), but I know I will always be afraid. I would like to help him and maintain some sort of relationship. But, some say, go ahead and divorce and start over. We still love each other. CB
Posted by Pfinstegg on October 31, 2002, at 0:01:39
In reply to Divorce and Mental Illness, posted by Cheryl Barnacle on October 30, 2002, at 10:20:19
Hi...what a hard situation to be in. Because your husband has a psychotic major depression, has he been considered for ECT or rTMS? Actually,I think the treatment I would consider first for him would be the clinical trial of mefipristone which is being done now for psychotic unipolar depression at Stanford University Medical School. They have had excellent results with very ill patients like your husband; it is a short-term treatment, but brings about complete remission within seven days for 60% of the patients with psychosis. Patients are then able to co-operate in working out a long-term treatment involving medication. The mefipristone works by lowering serum cortisol, which is extremely high in psychotic depression. If this is a possibility, you can look up the criteria for admission to the study on the web. If you have any difficulty finding the information you want, I'd be very glad to help you.
Being the object of paranoia by a loved one who is psychotic must be the hardest thing in the world to endure. If every possible treatment has been tried and exhausted, it would seem reasonable to end the marriage, both to protect your own safety, and because you can't continue the loving relationship which you had before he became ill; however, one of the three things I mentioned might just work. I wouldn't give up just yet, and do wish you luck. Please keep in contact with us, and let us know what happens.
Pfinstegg
Posted by judy1 on October 31, 2002, at 11:20:41
In reply to Divorce and Mental Illness, posted by Cheryl Barnacle on October 30, 2002, at 10:20:19
Obviously there is still love there. If he starts to show stabilization, then try to get into couples therapy with him but for now of course your health is most important. I wish you all the best- judy
Posted by Gracie2 on November 1, 2002, at 20:54:40
In reply to Re: Divorce and Mental Illness » Cheryl Barnacle, posted by judy1 on October 31, 2002, at 11:20:41
At first I wanted to tell you to stay around and support him as much as you could without compromising your own sanity. I've been with my husband for almost 20 years; I've been rather emotionally fragile from the start and done some really unacceptable things. But I don't believe that I've been truely psychotic. Like other wives,
I've worried about and looked for infidelity, probably to the point of being paranoid, because I've never seen evidence of an affair.But when you said that your husband believed you were in the FBI (assuming that you aren't), this moves from the realm of paranoia to a real break with reality. This is definately crossing the line into severe mental impairment. From what I've read, most psychotics are not dangerous to anyone but themselves. Still, if you decided to live with him again, particularly if he was not good about taking his medication, you would start to feel more and more like a care-giver rather than a wife. You would have to be prepared for that.
I recommend that you watch the movie "A Beautiful Mind". Being a 2-hour movie, it can only touch upon the difficulties of being married to a person who suffers from psychosis. But I enjoyed the movie because it does show that a person with mental impairments can be intelligent - extremely intelligent - although they cannot function like everyone else in everyday life. They have their own drummer.
Whether you can live with that is a an extremely personal and brave decision that you can only make for yourself.
-Gracie
This is the end of the thread.
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