Psycho-Babble Social Thread 28678

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A surprising thing happened at work

Posted by .tabitha. on August 15, 2002, at 14:09:02

I had done some work that was supposed to be used in another project. It turned out that on that project their was complete confusion about the task, and people were seemingly going to re-do what I had done unnecessarily. For a whole day I was mad and depressed about this, thinking "nobody appreciates me" and "those stupid idiots" etc etc, and then thinking well maybe what I did was no good and they just didn't want to tell me (even though people had already told me they liked what I did). Not being directly responsible for the project I thought it wasn't my place to interfere.

But... after 2 days of stewing I sent out an email to everyone saying basically look, folks, I already did this work and there's no need to re-do it, and here's what's wrong with your approach. This started a whole email train with about 10 people jumping in to argue about it, and eventually they're going to go my way (I think). Then that evening my boss came in and said that's what he wants me to do more of, to "drive" things. Here I thought I was doing something wrong by interfering with something where I'm not directly responsible.

I don't get it. I'm glad it turned out well, but is that how things are? You just ignore the official roles and do whatever the heck you want?Am I just too wimpy, trying to do things "by the book", and that's not really what people want?

I was so upset I was ready to quit, then I took a little action, and it turned around completely. I wonder how many other times I've missed a chance like this, instead stewing and doubting myself.

Happy but confused.

 

Re: A surprising thing happened at work

Posted by Gabbi on August 15, 2002, at 15:16:38

In reply to A surprising thing happened at work, posted by .tabitha. on August 15, 2002, at 14:09:02

Wow, thats great Tabitha,
The hindsight about what if really got me too, although I generally get a Blue finger flick to the back of my head If I stray from my principles even for a second. I'm not working right now, so its mostly about interpersonal relationships. If I slip and say something I know is irrational or mean about someone, it never fails that they end up being the one person who comes through for me when I need it, or have already sent an apology in the mail.
The Blue fingeris from the Beatles yellow submarine movie which seemed to be an unavoidable part of growing up. like it or not, for those of us who don't have a clue about Ellen Fleiss.

I was going to try to say something funny, but I've gone on long enough, I'm not myself either,
though I think I'm not myself more than I am myself, so maybe the person I think I'm not is actually me (ewwwwww..


And remember only 13 more sleeps and your therapist will be back.

You must know these nowhere posts are my clutzy way of saying hi, glad to see your name on the board.

Gabbi

GAbbi

 

Re: That's great Tabitha!

Posted by Dinah on August 15, 2002, at 20:05:00

In reply to Re: A surprising thing happened at work, posted by Gabbi on August 15, 2002, at 15:16:38

Don't you wish he had told you that earlier? But better late than never.

 

Re: A surprising thing happened at work » .tabitha.

Posted by Ritch on August 15, 2002, at 22:45:45

In reply to A surprising thing happened at work, posted by .tabitha. on August 15, 2002, at 14:09:02

> I had done some work that was supposed to be used in another project. It turned out that on that project their was complete confusion about the task, and people were seemingly going to re-do what I had done unnecessarily. For a whole day I was mad and depressed about this, thinking "nobody appreciates me" and "those stupid idiots" etc etc, and then thinking well maybe what I did was no good and they just didn't want to tell me (even though people had already told me they liked what I did). Not being directly responsible for the project I thought it wasn't my place to interfere.
>
> But... after 2 days of stewing I sent out an email to everyone saying basically look, folks, I already did this work and there's no need to re-do it, and here's what's wrong with your approach. This started a whole email train with about 10 people jumping in to argue about it, and eventually they're going to go my way (I think). Then that evening my boss came in and said that's what he wants me to do more of, to "drive" things. Here I thought I was doing something wrong by interfering with something where I'm not directly responsible.
>
> I don't get it. I'm glad it turned out well, but is that how things are? You just ignore the official roles and do whatever the heck you want?Am I just too wimpy, trying to do things "by the book", and that's not really what people want?
>
> I was so upset I was ready to quit, then I took a little action, and it turned around completely. I wonder how many other times I've missed a chance like this, instead stewing and doubting myself.
>
> Happy but confused.


Tabitha,

Often managers are very aware of the shortcomings of the current group dynamics. You thought outside the box (the politics) and was HONEST about your interpretation of the situation. Thank your lucky stars you have a manager that appreciates that type of insight.

Mitch

 

Re: A surprising thing happened at work » .tabitha.

Posted by Medusa on August 15, 2002, at 23:30:08

In reply to A surprising thing happened at work, posted by .tabitha. on August 15, 2002, at 14:09:02

Excellent Tabitha! I think you 'broke the rules' in an acceptable way. This is tricky stuff - you should be proud that you pulled it off!

About your past patterns, here's another perspective to consider: you might have laid the groundwork for the success of this 'rule-breaking' by establishing a reputation as someone who is cooperative and basically a by-the-book team player. If you had broken rules all the time, to 'do whatever the heck you wanted', it might not be accepted this way.

In any case, good going and have fun driving this project!


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