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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by BarbaraCat on July 25, 2002, at 0:09:55
Hi Everyone,
I'm a regular on the med board, but now need your sage advice on a social issue. I'm a peace loving gal, love animals, meditate, have a spiritual practice, and try to be a good person. But boy howdy every now and then I sure do FLASH!! All my right actions fly out the window and are undone when I get a rage-on. The other day I practically ripped the head off some guy who was doing his job, but happened to be bulldozing the land around our house. It's a terrible situation, but it's very unwise to piss off people who weild power over me and yes, this is definitely people who it's not good to be baring my teeth to. Even though it's usually a very good reason to get stark raving bloodthirsty over I always end up feeling remorseful and out of control. It's all about taking things too personally, I know, but how do y'all manage to count to 10 when you can't get past 3? - BarbaraCat
Posted by tabitha on July 25, 2002, at 1:43:56
In reply to Temper tantrums anyone?, posted by BarbaraCat on July 25, 2002, at 0:09:55
Oh, I hate bulldozers. Why can't they just build things without flattening all the trees and hills and scraping off all the plants, bugs, birds, rabbit warrens, etc? People can be so short-sighted.
If you are a meditator, have you tried deconstructing the rage into physical sensations and energy, rather than "truth and justice", when it happens? Or is it just too overwhelming for that? Seems like counting to 10 might just give the angry thoughts a chance to circle round and round and gather steam.
Posted by BarbaraCat on July 25, 2002, at 2:02:22
In reply to Re: Temper tantrums anyone?, posted by tabitha on July 25, 2002, at 1:43:56
I like that idea. I use it for anxiety and fear, ie., acknowledging that the feeling is there and allowing the energy to simply be, but haven't made the connection with anger. I'm usually too spitting mad to remember it then. Yep, counting to 10 always seemed dumb to me and used to make me madder when I was a kid - and still does! I don't know why things have to be so hurtful in the name of *progress* and the bottom line. It's totally dumb and greedy. We're such a young species and I guess some folks's brains are still in the hatchery.
> Oh, I hate bulldozers. Why can't they just build things without flattening all the trees and hills and scraping off all the plants, bugs, birds, rabbit warrens, etc? People can be so short-sighted.
>
> If you are a meditator, have you tried deconstructing the rage into physical sensations and energy, rather than "truth and justice", when it happens? Or is it just too overwhelming for that? Seems like counting to 10 might just give the angry thoughts a chance to circle round and round and gather steam.
Posted by Dinah on July 25, 2002, at 5:52:03
In reply to Re: Temper tantrums anyone?, posted by tabitha on July 25, 2002, at 1:43:56
> If you are a meditator, have you tried deconstructing the rage into physical sensations and energy, rather than "truth and justice", when it happens? Or is it just too overwhelming for that?Wow, sorry to interrupt but that is what I do, or rather overdo. I'm so good at it that I often have trouble figuring out what I'm feeling at all. So therapist will ask what I'm feeling right now, and I'll answer in terms of energy and sensations, and he'll patiently again explain the four basic feelings and tell me that what I'm describing is not a feeling. So I'll have to guess, because none of them seems right. It's irritating as heck.
Barbara Cat, I too hate it when man does not respect our fellow species and our earth. I get so sad driving by mountains or hills that are now just holes in the ground. There are parts of the beautiful state of Utah that just make me cry. (I used to visit family there frequently.)
That being said, I probably use the products that are taken out of the once beautiful hills everyday. And I live in an area once full of wildlife. I need to learn more about the environment so that I can make wiser choices, I think.
Posted by Roo on July 25, 2002, at 9:38:04
In reply to Re: Temper tantrums anyone?, posted by Dinah on July 25, 2002, at 5:52:03
> Wow, sorry to interrupt but that is what I do,
or rather overdo. I'm so good at it that I often
have trouble figuring out what I'm feeling at
all. So therapist will ask what I'm feeling
right now, and I'll answer in terms of energy
and sensations, and he'll patiently again
explain the four basic feelings and tell me
that what I'm describing is not a feeling.
So I'll have to guess, because none of them seems
right. It's irritating as heck.
>
> This has nothing to do with the topic, but I just felt
the need to respond to it...I feel irritated at your
therapist. I think describing energy and sensation is
a much more real and deep way to describe emotions than
"The 4 basic feelings". Why this irritates me so much,
I don't know. It's like he can't comprehend your
complexity and brilliance, so he has to try and smash
you feelings into this box model of "The 4 Basic Feelings".Sorry, I hope I haven't offended you or anything--I'm sure
I probably just misunderstand his intentions.
Posted by Roo on July 25, 2002, at 9:40:53
In reply to Re: Temper tantrums anyone?, posted by Dinah on July 25, 2002, at 5:52:03
I think your anger seems healthy. It's so true though
that we as women are not supposed to be angry, and I think
a lot of us are uncomfortable with it (I am). It's not
like you smacked the guy or anything--it doesn't seem like
any real harm was done. I don't know, in some ways, I really
admire people who can just let their anger fly and be what
it is. It's a passionate and fiery part of our soul, and I'm
not sure it's such a good thing to try and control it. (Unless,
like I said, you are actually harming another person).
Posted by Dinah on July 25, 2002, at 9:54:25
In reply to Re: Temper tantrums anyone? Dinah, posted by Roo on July 25, 2002, at 9:38:04
No you haven't offended me at all. I'm glad someone else is as irritated as I am about it. :) (And thank you for the brilliant and complex part. I was feeling like a dunce for not being able to identify my feelings.)
But he also has many fine and admirable qualities aside from his fondness for pop-psych.
Dinah
Posted by BarbaraCat on July 25, 2002, at 13:45:50
In reply to Temper tantrums anyone?, posted by BarbaraCat on July 25, 2002, at 0:09:55
Wow, thanks to all of you who have answered thus far. It's really helping me. I too think there is justified rage and one of my favorite images of all time is Jesus weilding his whip in fury at the money changers in the temple. Now there is one righteous dude! It seems the majority of humans have grown far too complacent letting Mama Earth get raped, along with other evils. There's this dark energy, a crunching machine that greedily destroys everything in it's path and sucks people in - the dark side of the Force. It's a real dilemma for me because on one hand I can't just roll over and not feel the sorrow and rage, but on the other hand using hatred and violence (in our actions or in our hearts) just perpetuates that low consciousness and generates more chaos. Every time I've gotten totally enraged recently, it's been for a very excellent reason, a very worthy cause. However, giving power over to uncontrolled fury these days could land you with a law suit or make you look like a menopausal fish wife - just ask my hub. It may feel righteous but I'm not Jesus and I don't know know to make it work for me.
What I really want is to channel this energy into constructive action and creativity. I don't know how yet and it's so hard to do when depressed or not thinking clearly. But I had an amazing dream last night about this wild swirling energy that spoke to me and carried me off into an incredible place. In fact, it brought up a very interesting question that I'm going to present in a new thread. But please, let's continue with this one talking about rage. I'm learning so much from all of you! - BarbaraCat
Posted by Gabbi on July 25, 2002, at 14:24:28
In reply to Re: Temper tantrums anyone?, posted by BarbaraCat on July 25, 2002, at 13:45:50
If this sounds like I'm reaching way to far, I apologize, its now been 4 days with no sleep for all I know your post could be a hallucination..
But y'know I'm kind of glad you yelled at the guy. True, he probably was just doing his job, out of necessity, because he needed the money...blahBut Its so archetypal like Mcdonalds, everything I think is disgusting greed, money, artiface destruction, over all summed up in one picture.
It sounds from the way you described yourself, that it probably struck a nerve in you too.This sounds like I'm saying its okay to just blow up at anyone anytime, and I'm not saying that at all. But sometimes I think these things just happen, and it can be really self-defeating to pathologize them when it sounds like you already
live deliberately and consciously.And.. P.S: Seeing as its already done; I think you did it very well. I think its a great change to have someone yell at someone with power over them rather than being rude to someone who's being walked on by everyone else already.
Posted by BarbaraCat on July 30, 2002, at 22:46:51
In reply to Re: Temper tantrums anyone?, posted by Gabbi on July 25, 2002, at 14:24:28
Gabbi,
Why so long without sleep? By choice or otherwise? I sure hope this is now a thing of the past for you. Life can seem terribly grim when one doesn't recharge their batteries. Or even if one does, for that matter. Sweet dreams to you.> If this sounds like I'm reaching way to far, I apologize, its now been 4 days with no sleep for all I know your post could be a hallucination..
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