![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by mist on July 6, 2002, at 2:03:21
I've read that having low self-esteem can interfere with making decisions. Since I have a tough time making decisions on some things, I wonder if that's the problem. But I don't see how it relates. I don't know if I have low self-esteem anyway. How can you tell if your self-esteem is low or high? Any thoughts on any of this would be appreciated.
Posted by Zo on July 6, 2002, at 3:22:59
In reply to How does self-esteem relate to decision making?, posted by mist on July 6, 2002, at 2:03:21
Hi, mist,I haven't read that, but I suppose it makes sense. Low self-esteem means you are not much of a fan of yourself, so it follows that you wouldnt' be making terrific decisions. But I've found that having a tough time making decisions can also relate to many more positive things. Perhaps you take so many things into account, it is tougher than someone for whom life is less introspective, for example, or less reflective.
Low self-esteem is being a doormat because you don't have a very high opinion of yourself. . .In what sort of esteem do you hold mist? Kind of abstract, isn't it. .but interesting. .
Zo
Posted by fi on July 6, 2002, at 17:49:44
In reply to How does self-esteem relate to decision making?, posted by mist on July 6, 2002, at 2:03:21
They do sound like 2 things which are separate, tho of course many people with depression or similar have both to cope with.
I suppose if you dont value yourself, you may not think its worth trying to sort your life out, and therefore not make decisions. Or think that someone as worthless as you feel cant make decent decisions. But both are rather indirect connections.
Interesting point re how you measure self esteem, tho its easy enough to recognise really low levels in someone else. They dont think they are worth anything, and focus on their (perceived) faults. If they do something well, they dismiss it as they think if they do something, it must mean its really easy, so not praiseworthy.
It must be rather hard to assess your own self esteem, as presumably if you have low self esteem, you think your perception of yourself as being worse than others is accurate, rather than a sign of low self esteem...
I'm getting confused myself- better shut up!
Fi
Posted by mist on July 7, 2002, at 21:07:53
In reply to Re: How does self-esteem relate to decision making? » mist, posted by fi on July 6, 2002, at 17:49:44
Hi Zo and Fi,
Yes the idea of self-esteem is interesting and confusing at times! I'm not the type to put myself down a lot or be a doormat but maybe self-esteem is something deeper. I'd imagine it fluctuates, too. My problems with decision making might be partly fear of failure which I suppose could come from less than solid self esteem. But I'm just speculating. I don't have a clear sense of this one way or the other.
Some writers, pop-psychologists, and others bandy the term about as explaining various problems. Sometimes I wonder if they don't just use it as a catch-all explanation for things that are actually more complex?
Posted by Lini on July 7, 2002, at 21:16:20
In reply to self-esteem - Zo and Fi, posted by mist on July 7, 2002, at 21:07:53
Just to add some more to the mix, could self esteem also relate to how you understand other people's thoughts of you (thus influencing how you make decisions)? Like, if you had high self esteem, and thought that you were pretty okay, maybe you would be more likely to see the glass as half full (since if you're okay, it is easier to imagine someone/thing being okay too?).I know that it is easier to decide things about life when I feel like people are going to love me regardless, trust my abilities, support my decisions etc. Maybe that is what self esteem is, the assumption that you'll be supported, loved and appreciated?
Now I'm slipping!
-L
Posted by mist on July 8, 2002, at 4:05:35
In reply to Re: self-esteem - Zo and Fi, posted by Lini on July 7, 2002, at 21:16:20
> Maybe that is what self esteem is, the assumption that you'll be supported, loved and appreciated?
This could be at least part of the equation. Although I've also heard it said that true self-esteem is independent of how others view you. (Now I'm more confused than ever! LOL.)
Posted by tabitha on July 9, 2002, at 3:03:30
In reply to self-esteem, posted by mist on July 8, 2002, at 4:05:35
> > Maybe that is what self esteem is, the assumption that you'll be supported, loved and appreciated?
>
> This could be at least part of the equation. Although I've also heard it said that true self-esteem is independent of how others view you. (Now I'm more confused than ever! LOL.)How about the assumption that you *deserve* to be supported, loved and appreciated. By yourself and others.
Posted by Lini on July 9, 2002, at 8:16:37
In reply to Re: self-esteem » mist, posted by tabitha on July 9, 2002, at 3:03:30
> > Maybe that is what self esteem is, the assumption that you'll be supported, loved and appreciated?
>
> This could be at least part of the equation. Although I've also heard it said that true self-esteem is independent of how others view you. (Now I'm more confused than ever! LOL.)How about the assumption that you *deserve* to be supported, loved and appreciated. By yourself and others.
deserve! that works!
Posted by mist on July 9, 2002, at 20:47:29
In reply to Re: self-esteem, posted by Lini on July 9, 2002, at 8:16:37
> How about the assumption that you *deserve* to be supported, loved and appreciated. By yourself and others.
> deserve! that works!Yes, that sounds right.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.