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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by bookgurl99 on June 19, 2002, at 22:16:42
Okay, I've been dating a perfectly nice girl for a year but I just can't seem to make myself commit. What's my problem? When I date a woman who's a complete jerk to me, I fall head over heels. But with my sweetheart, I don't feel many sparks.
I want a hottie. I feel like I could kiss every woman on the planet.
What's wrong with me?
Posted by wendy b. on June 20, 2002, at 11:25:18
In reply to Relationships, posted by bookgurl99 on June 19, 2002, at 22:16:42
> Okay, I've been dating a perfectly nice girl for a year but I just can't seem to make myself commit. What's my problem? When I date a woman who's a complete jerk to me, I fall head over heels. But with my sweetheart, I don't feel many sparks.
BookGurl:
(Remember me? I'm the one who would have done the same thing with my million dollars, start an artist-writer colony, etc.)
I have the same problem with boys. Trying to deal w/ the fact lately that I choose people with whom it would have been impossible to stay with long-term. I guess that's part of the illness, also my very very weak self-esteem, why choose someone good? I don't deserve a decent life, so I choose these guys. And anybody who is really good, I declare "boring."
> I want a hottie. I feel like I could kiss every woman on the planet.
>
> What's wrong with me?You're a normal woman, please!
If you don't want to be with the woman you're with any more, you should tell her. If the spark's not there, she probably already knows that part. If you're just living together as friends, that would be ok, but there are sexual expectations, right?
As in the old Joni Mitchell song, from the Hejira album (I think):
"...but all I wanna do right now is -
find another lover..."It's ok, you'll figure it out. Go shoot some more photos. I'm so glad for you that you're taking such pleasure in it.
Tu es une artiste!
all best,
Wendy
Posted by Bookgurl99 on June 20, 2002, at 20:37:52
In reply to Re: Relationships... and their vicissitudes » bookgurl99, posted by wendy b. on June 20, 2002, at 11:25:18
Sarah and I just had a big fight tonight. We were shopping for clothes at Wal-Mart, and she was dragging her heels, acting mopey. (She did the same thing last week at Home Depot -- and who can't have fun at Home Depot? It's like Disneyland for lesbians!!!) Anyways, I exploded and told her to be less passive and actually tell me if she doesn't want to do something. Lately, it seems like she doesn't want to have fun at all. She enjoys actively not enjoying herself. Despite all she does for me (and it is enormous), I'm starting to consider other women.
I think part of my hesitation is that:
1) she treats me like gold, and2) she was with me and was my main support while I found out why I was having memory problems, while my 'friends' and 'family' fled in fear., and
3) the woman that I was truly in love with left me when I developed OCD. I fear that no one else will truly love me, that I should be with Sarah because she's "the best I can do."
I know these are totally wrong reasons for staying in the relationship. Part of me keeps thinking that maybe I can just work on the things that are wrong with the relationship, though.
And meanwhile, photograph beautiful women.
p.s. I took the most awesome photo of a family that was camping. I will try to find a place where I can post the photo so you can see it.
Posted by bookgurl99 on June 25, 2002, at 10:45:38
In reply to Re: Relationships... and their vicissitudes » bookgurl99, posted by wendy b. on June 20, 2002, at 11:25:18
Okay,
last night Sarah took me to another town to visit my sister. I live in Madison, WI. My younger sister lives in a small town down some back roads.
On the way back, the full moon illuminated small farms and green fields. The sky was full of stars. It was beautiful. I felt suddenly happy and peaceful.
Sarah was talking about whether we had taken the fastest route. I looked over at her, and realized that I'm falling in love with her. I love that she cares about things like whether we took the fastest route, whereas I'm more of the dreamer.
I thought she was so cute. We came home and made love, and it was great. :D
Posted by Roo on June 27, 2002, at 9:29:33
In reply to I have weird biochemistry » wendy b., posted by bookgurl99 on June 25, 2002, at 10:45:38
Hmmm...interesting...do you think your earlier feelings
might have been based out of the fear of falling in love?
Posted by bookgurl99 on June 27, 2002, at 15:59:06
In reply to Re: I have weird biochemistry » wendy b., posted by Roo on June 27, 2002, at 9:29:33
> Hmmm...interesting...do you think your earlier feelings
> might have been based out of the fear of falling in love?Sometimes I think so. Before, I fled to people who were not fully commital. Now I've met this woman who treats me like gold, and I feel illogically angry at her at times. Both conditions could come from the same root of feeling that I don't deserve love -- or of having had the experience of being told that I'm loved by someone who has a lot of conditions on that love, or who leaves shortly thereafter.
This is the end of the thread.
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