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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Fi on May 28, 2002, at 10:49:14
How does anyone else cope when something a manager does at work makes you really angry? I realise its a good idea to find some safe way to let off steam before tackling it, but dont really know how to do that fast and at work (sometimes there isnt time to have the chance to cool down overnight..)
I've had a succession of things today that have left me incandescent.... Putting lots of effort now into getting thru the last few minutes of the day without saying anything (as anything I would say would probably be what I thought, which would be disastrous the way I would put it at the moment!)
I know anger is really bad for you if suppressed, but it can get you sacked if expressed unwisely!
Fi (who should be working, not posting, but couldnt care less!!)
Posted by beardedlady on May 28, 2002, at 12:49:11
In reply to Dealing with your fury at work..., posted by Fi on May 28, 2002, at 10:49:14
I work for myself for that very reason. But the way I do it with a friend is this: take her aside and say, "I'm a little upset right now because of something that happened, and I really need to talk about it." Then try to say it as tactfully as possible. If you think this is a person who values your skills, and if you express it in such a way that you're hurt, rather than angry, you will probably escape wrath and come off looking respectful and respectable.
Letting it go may seem like the only option, but it often makes the next time worse, until you don't like your job anymore. So why not nip it in the bud?
beardy
Posted by Fi on May 29, 2002, at 4:35:50
In reply to Re: Dealing with your fury at work... » Fi, posted by beardedlady on May 28, 2002, at 12:49:11
Thank you! Wise suggestion, particularly re stressing hurt rather than anger. Did manage not to respond to the 3 particular problem people till today, when I'd calmed down...The irritating people were all winding me up via emails, so I was able to delay my responses till today and word them carefully!
I also had the chance to get some sympathy from some colleagues after work.
I've also thought that next time it happens, maybe a bit of physical exercise (we have a lot of stairs at work) might help to blow off the emotion. There's always the option of crying in the toilet, but that seems such a negative way of dealing with anger!
The big risk for me is that I will say what I thing when angry; I loose that automatic 'tact filter'- and I know from past experience that can be very damaging, and take absolutely ages to rebuild a decent working relationship with the person concerned.
I can see the attraction of being self-employed!
It was also great to be able to post to the board and say what I thought- unfiltered!
Fi
Posted by SandraDee on May 30, 2002, at 11:09:30
In reply to Re: Dealing with your fury at work... » beardedlady, posted by Fi on May 29, 2002, at 4:35:50
Okay, this is probably going to sound stupid, but I have been taking a parenting class lately, and it reminded me of certain communicating things I'm sure we've all heard before... things like "I messages" and stuff like that.... Anyhow, here-goes... Similar to another response you got, try the 'I message' thing. "I feel ____, when you _______, because ______.
Just rambling :)
Good luck.
Posted by fi on May 31, 2002, at 8:27:47
In reply to Re: Dealing with your fury at work... » Fi, posted by SandraDee on May 30, 2002, at 11:09:30
Useful reminder of these key points- ta!
Also gives me a wry smile in realising that being assertive with your boss/colleagues may have something in common with being assertive with kids!!
Fi
Posted by SandraDee on May 31, 2002, at 9:32:37
In reply to Re: Dealing with your fury at work... ¯ SandraDee, posted by fi on May 31, 2002, at 8:27:47
Even if my post wasn't helpful I'm glad it wasn't taken wrong :) Funny how we can relate some bosses to our 2 year olds, huh?
Good luck, take care...
Posted by fi on June 1, 2002, at 17:08:41
In reply to Whew! So glad you didn't get mad! :) » fi, posted by SandraDee on May 31, 2002, at 9:32:37
This is the end of the thread.
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