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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dr. Bob on May 5, 2002, at 15:58:37
[reposted from: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020503/msgs/105181.html]
> I've had to be more than strong for the things I've gone through in My life, otherwise I would'nt of made it this far.. his comments are Just fuel to the fire on top of everything eles.. and Yes he does critizize everything.. he'll make negative comments about anything.. even things like a commercial or someone in the store..or imitate the way ppl say something.. I've stopped trying to talk to him because all I get is laughed at cuz he thinks its all funny..Im not jewish either, I have picz on here..
Posted by Dr. Bob on May 5, 2002, at 19:12:45
In reply to Re: Ugly.. « LiLAngelJenna, posted by Dr. Bob on May 5, 2002, at 15:58:37
[Posted by LiLAngelJenna on May 5, 2002, at 18:23:46
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020503/msgs/105154.html]
> Kate I would never even say that to him.. hes extrememly Angry and violent..he has threatened to 'break my face' to both my mom and me.. he breaks things in our house, throws things around and destroys my property.. He's also 6' and outweights me by 60 lbs...that isnt an option for me..I've been psyhically scared of my brother before, if I even said I was going to touch anything of his the situation would be escalated to an dangerous extreme..
Posted by katekite on May 5, 2002, at 21:01:51
In reply to Re: Ugly.. « LiLAngelJenna, posted by Dr. Bob on May 5, 2002, at 19:12:45
I think I'm so interested in this thread because my dad used to call me names like fatty or ugly or that type of thing, around the age of 13, 14... just for about a year. (Not nearly as bad as your brother sounds). He somehow knew that was my weak spot at the time. I probably cried every day... my mother would tell me to rise above it and just see it as him in a bad mood....(she was somewhat of a victim at that time too so ended up protecting him or being in denial about it) but I didn't have that capability then. Now I see him pathetically incapable of being a parent at the time, dealing with his own depression, needing to put me down to feel better himself. And strangely I get along with him much better than my mom now, since he has grown up some, gotten older, mellowed out. Its hard to forgive my mom for not standing up for me. I guess I haven't yet. I feel pretty distant from her.
Its amazing what repeated criticism (emotional abuse) can do to someone's self esteem and relationships. We all struggle to feel ok about ourselves to begin with.
Does your brother rule the house, at least emotionally? Do you have other family or ? Sorry to pry, feel free to not answer.
Posted by Dr. Bob on May 6, 2002, at 5:21:30
In reply to Re: Ugly.. « LiLAngelJenna, posted by Dr. Bob on May 5, 2002, at 15:58:37
[Posted by ST on May 5, 2002, at 20:00:33
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020503/msgs/105159.html]
> > have you found ugliness a problem in relationships yourself ?
>
> Omega,
>
> How so? Like how I view other's looks? How I feel about my looks? Or how others view my looks?
>
> While I was in school and still insecure about my looks, I dated a 5'2", balding man. So that you can get an idea of how I look, since attractiveness and our relationship to it is the subject: I am almost 6', slender, dark hair, dark eyes. Most of my life was spent calling myself ugly. I work out, wear makeup and have been described - lookswise - as everthing from striking, pretty, attractive on down to homely! If you ever watch "6 Feet Under", I've been told I remind people of Rachel Griffiths. I'm definitely not a dead ringer for her, but I guess my personality and looks together just remind people of her. So, that out of the way, this boyfriend constantly compared me to other women and verbally wished I looked more like certain women we went to school with. He was a ball of depression/insecurity/unresolved issues. He psychologically tortured me about my physical appearance and my lack of physical perfection. He, himself, felt he was very ugly (and by most standards, he is NOT too attractive) and so took it out on me. He was the prime example of the famous Groucho (and much later, Woody Allen) comment: "Why would I want to join any club that would have me as a member?" So, yes, looks played a huge part in our relationship.
>
> Basically, I've always dated a smorgasbord of men with so many different looks. Tall, handsome men...goofy looking men....overweight men, skinny men. I have never been moved sexually or romantically by one standard of looks in men. I find humor, intelligence, passion and talent to be the driving forces that attract me to people.
>
> I can honestly say that I don't find people to be physically "ugly". This is the word that we keep using in this thread, but I have a hard time with it. No one is truly ugly to me. Their personality may make them such....that boyfriend of mine really was ugly. But not because of the way he looked.
>
> Sarah
Posted by Dr. Bob on May 7, 2002, at 17:01:27
In reply to Re: Ugly.. « LiLAngelJenna, posted by Dr. Bob on May 5, 2002, at 15:58:37
[Posted by xlandria on May 7, 2002, at 16:32:01
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020503/msgs/104973.html]
> God I feel sick about your mother and your brother. I am so sorry that your mom is to engrossed in herself to see what damage is being done to you by your idiot brother. I hate that things like this can happen to a person, and you end up thinking your damaged somehow, not good enough. When the reality is its them who are damaged and not good enough for you. Im new here but you seem like a really nice person and I'm so sorry that your made to feel like anything except beaufitul and kind.
> x
This is the end of the thread.
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