![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by beardedlady on April 24, 2002, at 15:26:02
I found this on the internet a bazillion years ago. The author is unknown, but it's pretty terrific. I don't know why the author wouldn't have signed it. Anyway, it's an excellent imitation of Shakespeare's style/Hamlet's voice. It's on the net a couple of different ways, but this is the first way I saw it, and I like it better than the ones that begin slightly differently. Anyway, enjoy.
Hamlet’s Cat’s Soliloquy
Author Unknown (Shakespaw)To leave, or not to leave—that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler for a cat to suffer
The cuffs and buffets of outrageous weather
That Nature pours on those who roam abroad,
Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet
And so by dozing melt the pond'rous hours
That clog the clock's bright gears with sullen time
And stall the dinner bell. To sit, to stare
Outdoors, and by a stare to seem to state
A wish to venture forth without delay,
Then when the portal's widely ope'd, to stand
As tho' transfixed by doubt. To prowl; to sleep;
To choose, not knowing when the fickle humans
our readmittance once again may deign.
To leave, perchance to stay. Aye- there's the hairball;
For were a paw so formed to turn a doorknob
Or work a lock, or slip a window catch,
And going out and coming in were only
As simple as the breaking of a bowl,
What cat would bear the household's petty plagues
The cook's well-practiced kicks, the butler's broom
The infant's careless pokes, the collar rude
The trampled tail, and all the daily shocks
That fur is heir to, when, of's own free will,
He might his exodus or entry make
With a mere paw? Who'd spaniels bear
Or strays, trespassing from a neighbor's yard
But that the dread of our unheeded howling
And scratching at a barricaded door
No claw can open up, dispels our nerve,
And makes us rather bear with humans' faults
Than run abroad to unguessed miseries?
Thus caution doth make house cats of us all;
And thus the bristling hair of resolution
Is softened with the pallid stroke of thought,
And since our choices hinge on weighty matters,
We pause upon the threshold of the act.
Posted by beardedlady on April 24, 2002, at 15:27:16
In reply to Cat People: Hamlet's Cat's Soliloqy, posted by beardedlady on April 24, 2002, at 15:26:02
Posted by Fi on April 24, 2002, at 16:21:13
In reply to Cat People: Hamlet's Cat's Soliloqy, posted by beardedlady on April 24, 2002, at 15:26:02
Lovely! Thanks for sharing that!
I dont have a cat (I am a bit allergic,apart from everything else). I have been laughing at myself as I have spent many months being the Perfect Human (well, apart from providing food), to the cat which lives next door. In the hope it would let me stroke it occassionally, which I remember from my (sneezy,wheezing catowning days) was rather nice. Not aiming for anything else.
It finally let me yesterday, causing a ridiculous amount of satisfaction that I had made the grade at last! The sort of mad behaviour which only another cat lover would understand...Fi
Posted by Kar on April 24, 2002, at 22:32:19
In reply to Cat People: Hamlet's Cat's Soliloqy, posted by beardedlady on April 24, 2002, at 15:26:02
What a hoot! Thanks-I needed that tonight...now I'm trying to figure out which of my friends are cat lovers AND Shakespeare enthusiasts so that I can forward this...
"Aye- there's the hairball" was amongst my faves...
:D
Posted by Zo on April 24, 2002, at 23:08:08
In reply to Re: Cat People: Hamlet's Cat's Soliloqy » beardedlady, posted by Kar on April 24, 2002, at 22:32:19
Me too me too!
Made it the subject line on my *immediate* forwards!
Thanks, Beardy! Way cool.
Posted by Zo on April 26, 2002, at 21:23:43
In reply to Cat People: Hamlet's Cat's Soliloqy, posted by beardedlady on April 24, 2002, at 15:26:02
Apparently we are all plaigarizing like mad or ignoring the copright of one Henry Beard,
author of POETRY FOR CATS; The Definitive Anthology of Distinguised Feline Verse
(only 5 copies left at Amazon)Also by Mr. Beard, BORED OF THE RINGS.
And here's a great one for the PB Book list:
RATIONALIZATIONS TO LIVE BYalso, MISS PIGGY'S GUIDE TO LIFE
(this guy sounds like my kind a writer)
But I think Miss Piggy is, alas, passe.Zo
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.