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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by waterlily on April 5, 2002, at 19:23:27
Do you guys feel like you can talk with others about goes on in your therapy sessions? I feel completely closed to it, especially with my husband because I'm afraid that he will disagree with what my therapist has to say. I feel my fear is grounded because my therapist told me that I need to work on getting more self-respect. My husband said "I never thought you had a problem with self-respect". Am I being too sensitive?
Posted by DedeD on April 5, 2002, at 19:51:03
In reply to Do you talk about therapy with friends/family?, posted by waterlily on April 5, 2002, at 19:23:27
Fortunately for me, I live alone with my mom. She is ALWAYS supportive and she is honest with me over discussions I have with her over my treatment and my recovery. I know she will always love me. You, on the other hand, are talking about your husband. If I were in your shoes, I could understand where you might not trust him to share your treatment. But I think if you want him to understand what is going on with you and be supportive, you should at least try to level with him. As it stands, he understands nothing, and that possibly puts you on the defensive. If it doesn't work, then don't try to share again. But at least try once. Pick a good, quiet time when you have his full attention. NOT when he's holding the remote control. Also, if it doesn't work with your husband, and you need to share with someone, I highly recommend your mother, if possible. Hope this helps. -- Dee
Posted by Mair on April 5, 2002, at 20:26:55
In reply to Do you talk about therapy with friends/family?, posted by waterlily on April 5, 2002, at 19:23:27
I've always had a very difficult time talking about therapy or my illness for that matter and most of my friends don't know anything about it. I've tried to get away from being so closed because i think it can be pretty isolating, but it's hard breaking those patterns. I sort of pick and choose pretty carefully what I do reveal to a couple of friends and one sister. I really probably make greater use of some people on this Board.
I don't think you're being too sensitive about your husband. My husband sort of lost interest in my therapy a long time ago when it became clear I was in it for the long haul. I can talk to him about some of the very practical things my therapist raises and he's always supportive but the "touchy feely" stuff is beyond his pale.
I have generally chosen not to talk much to my husband not because I thought he would disagree with my therapist, but because I felt that my disease already burdened him enough, and that he would just get really sick of dealing with me. I guess I still feel that way when I'm most down.
Why do you think your husband would disagree with your therapist?
Mair
Posted by DedeD on April 6, 2002, at 8:02:18
In reply to Re: Do you talk about therapy with friends/family? » waterlily, posted by Mair on April 5, 2002, at 20:26:55
> Why do you think your husband would disagree with your therapist?
>
I don't have a husband. I DID have a significant other who continuously called me crazy and used it as a weapon in fights before I discovered my diagnosis of BiPolar. Needless to say he isn't my significant other anymore. I've been single for 3 years now (and it doesn't bother me!).
Posted by DedeD on April 6, 2002, at 8:08:35
In reply to Re: Do you talk about therapy with friends/family? » waterlily, posted by Mair on April 5, 2002, at 20:26:55
Posted by KB on April 6, 2002, at 9:43:21
In reply to Re: Do you talk about therapy with friends/family?, posted by DedeD on April 6, 2002, at 8:02:18
My dad and grandfather (the only family I have) don't even know I'm in therapy - it helps that I don't live with them.I do occasionally discuss it with other friends who are also in therapy, and with my colleague who is both in therapy and an art therapist
herself.I think people in your life don't necessarily see the same "you" that you allow your therapist to see.
Posted by waterlily on April 6, 2002, at 21:07:49
In reply to Re: Do you talk about therapy with friends/family? » waterlily, posted by Mair on April 5, 2002, at 20:26:55
> Why do you think your husband would disagree with your therapist?
>
> MairI'm super sensitive to what my hubby thinks about things. He has made suggestions in the past that I ought to find a new therapist because I am not tons better than I was the same time last year when I started therapy. If he disagrees with my therapist I would automatically think that he does not trust me to make good decisions for myself and that he knows more than my therapist. Whatever things I feel more positive about due to therapy get shot to pieces if he disagrees with them and I'm back at square one.
I do say waaay more to my therapist than I do to my hubby because I've got nothing to lose if I tick off my therapist, but if I do the same with my hubby, I'm stuck with the possibility of him leaving me. Perhaps my father's when I was 14 leaves me with an abnormally high fear of being abandoned. Just a thought.
Thanks for your help :-)
Posted by waterlily on April 6, 2002, at 21:27:37
In reply to Re: Do you talk about therapy with friends/family?, posted by waterlily on April 6, 2002, at 21:07:49
Perhaps my father's when I was 14 leaves me with an abnormally high fear of being abandoned. Just a thought.
>
> Thanks for your help :-)My husband has some kind of kid-blocking software on our computer which deleted the word "suicide" in the above post. My father committed suicide when I was 14. Hope it works this time.
Posted by amber_spirit on April 8, 2002, at 15:06:54
In reply to Re: Do you talk about therapy with friends/family?, posted by waterlily on April 6, 2002, at 21:27:37
I have the same feeling with my husband. Sometimes
he is supportive, but other times he just really
doesn't want to hear about it. Also, it seems
he can do more damage in 5 minutes than 5 weeks of
therapy can repair. It's also hard since I'm not
positive whether I believe that this is chemical or
that the medications are screwing me up. My
indecision makes it even harder for him and makes
me more easily swayed by his "They're screwing you
up" speech. That doesn't mean that your husband
won't be supportive though. Give him a chance -
just make sure its in a careful way that protects
you.Hope this helps.
AS
Posted by Cecilia on April 9, 2002, at 3:16:05
In reply to Re: Do you talk about therapy with friends/family?, posted by DedeD on April 5, 2002, at 19:51:03
> Fortunately for me, I live alone with my mom. She is ALWAYS supportive and she is honest with me over discussions I have with her over my treatment and my recovery. I know she will always love me. You, on the other hand, are talking about your husband. If I were in your shoes, I could understand where you might not trust him to share your treatment. But I think if you want him to understand what is going on with you and be supportive, you should at least try to level with him. As it stands, he understands nothing, and that possibly puts you on the defensive. If it doesn't work, then don't try to share again. But at least try once. Pick a good, quiet time when you have his full attention. NOT when he's holding the remote control. Also, if it doesn't work with your husband, and you need to share with someone, I highly recommend your mother, if possible. Hope this helps. -- Dee
Talk about therapy with your mother?!! An awful lot of people are IN therapy because of their mothers!
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