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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Penny on February 28, 2002, at 15:40:15
Hi. I'm new to this, so please bear with me :).
I've been in therapy for two years with a fantastic therapist. Today we had our last session for a while as she is going on maternity leave. Her pregnancy came as somewhat of a shock for me and has brought up all kinds of emotions: fear & anxiety, feelings of abandonment, jealousy (of both her and of the baby), and lots and lots of inner pain.
I understand the whole concept of transference & that I have formed an attachment to my therapist that is probably more open & trusting than any relationship I've ever had. She's set me up with one of her colleagues to see while she's out and has reassured me that she will miss me while she's out and looks forward to seeing me when she returns.
The problem is, I'm currently going through the battle of trying to get stabilized on antidepressants (I've been on a few and they just don't seem to work, or, if they do, they don't for long). I have a new p-doc, but he's pretty impressive with his thoroughness & such, but the fact that I won't see 'my' therapist for 2 months or so is just killing me. My moods are all over the place, and even though I felt a sense of peace after our session today, I got upset again after talking with the interim therapist this afternoon and wondering if it's going to be the right fit.
Any suggestions on how to get through the next two months without going crazy from not seeing/speaking with my therapist?
Posted by Dinah on February 28, 2002, at 17:11:05
In reply to therapist on maternity leave, posted by Penny on February 28, 2002, at 15:40:15
Hi Penny,
I wish I had some sage advice, but I don't. Only sympathy. My therapist recently got married and all I could think was "How long will he be gone for his honeymoon?" and "Boy am I glad he's a man. If his wife gets pregnant, he probably won't miss more than a week or two." So believe me, I understand your feelings.
I can imagine your worry over the substitute therapist. Do those silly therapists think they're like washing machines at a laundromat? This one is out of service, please use the one down the row a bit. They think too little of themselves or of the time and effort it takes on our part to build a trusting relationship.
Can you rely on your psychiatrist for emergency help if necessary? At least you know him.
I hope I'm not depressing you even more. I just don't quite understand the concept of a substitute therapist.
With my sympathy,
Dinah
Posted by Penny on March 1, 2002, at 8:20:55
In reply to Re: therapist on maternity leave » Penny, posted by Dinah on February 28, 2002, at 17:11:05
Dinah,
Thanks for responding. Yeah, I'm having quite a few second thoughts about the 'substitute therapist' concept. I mean, I've met her and she's nice enough, but she's not my therapist. And I'm not sure how 'therapeutic' it would be for me to meet with her. I guess my therapist is just concerned that I would have no one to turn to.
I do feel a little better since I have a pdoc I think I can trust. He's my third in three years and I've only been going to him for about 3 weeks now, so... but the difference between him and the other two has (so far) been like night and day. And he encourages me to page him whenever I need him. But, just like with everything else, it's a trust issue and I don't really feel comfortable with him just yet, so I don't know. But I guess I would/could turn to him if I were in crisis mode, since I can. And I'm seeing him weekly right now b/c my meds are not stablized and he says he wants me to become more comfortable with him and to monitor my situation since so much is going on. So I suppose that's good.
I guess I'm really just getting tired of this 'depression' game, and it hasn't seemed to be getting any easier and I'm wondering how much longer I'm willing to wait. While I'm technically 'functioning,' getting through every day is a struggle. And the thought of missing that one hour a week of feeling safe & secure and just getting things out of my head with someone I trust for two months or so is a bit overwhelming. She also recommended a local support group for folks with depression & manic depression, but the meetings are during a time that would make it nearly impossible for me to go. And my best friend has been very supportive but I think I've been scaring her lately with my mood fluctuations, and I'm not sure how much I can depend on her now.
Anyway, sorry this is so long, but I guess I'm just looking for any advice anyone can give on how to just get through this one day at a time.
Thanks.
Posted by Dinah on March 1, 2002, at 8:32:55
In reply to Re: therapist on maternity leave » Dinah, posted by Penny on March 1, 2002, at 8:20:55
Penny, again I understand completely. My only "advice" would be this. I have found this board to be a wonderfully supportive place, and since finding it I have been a teeny bit less dependent on my therapist.
Please post here when you need to. It's been a bit quiet here lately, but someone usually answers. And why don't you try joining us at Open chat. It's a wonderful place to vent and laugh. There is often (but not always) someone there between 9 and 12 pm eastern. I might be wrong with the time frame. Just click the Psycho-Babble Open tab below and follow the tedious Yahoo instructions.
Posted by mair on March 1, 2002, at 16:43:49
In reply to therapist on maternity leave, posted by Penny on February 28, 2002, at 15:40:15
Penny - I went through the substitute therapist thing only a few months after I had started being treated for depression. In those days my pdoc was my therapist and he went off to Europe for about 2 months. Obviously I wasn't in the situation you are in since I hadn't been seeing him all that long, but it still didn't feel great. I didn't want to see anyone else and couldn't see the point, but I did pretty much because my pdoc insisted on it. I don't know whether his insistence was an unspoken commentary on how he thought I was doing - maybe it just made him feel better about leaving.
Anyway - it wasn't that disruptive at all, and probably was a better thing to have that back-up. I know I was able to pick up pretty seamlessly when my pdoc came back. Having said that, I now see a therapist I've been working with for a few years, and I've been trying to imagine how I'd feel about having to see someone else for a few months. On the one hand, it would seem ridiculous to just pick up with someone else. On the other hand if you've been in therapy for awhile and deal regularly with depression issues, it's a very secure feeling to know that someone is there to help you process things and to monitor how you're doing. If you weren't going to be seeing your pdoc pretty regularly, I guess I'd give serious thought to seeing someone else - just to have that lifeline. As you've pointed out it's comforting to have that hour when you can feel that you don't have to be solely responsible for your own well-being. Sometimes, I've been able to derive a lot of comfort just from knowing that there is someone else who knows how I truly feel.
Let us know what you decide.
Mair
Posted by Penny on March 1, 2002, at 23:08:16
In reply to Re: therapist on maternity leave » Penny, posted by mair on March 1, 2002, at 16:43:49
Mair,
Thanks for your message.
I think for right now I'm going to keep my appointment with her for next week, and discuss further what might be a good plan for me. I've already met her and liked her when I did, but that was before my therapist was officially unavailable! Her officially leaving, naturally, took away some of the comfort level I found in that first meeting with the interim therapist.
My therapist asked me if I was scared of something regarding seeing someone else while she's away. I told her that part of me is afraid to become attached to the substitute b/c then I would have to end that too, and that hurts. In addition, I'm afraid that maybe I'll like her even more than my current therapist. And, right now, I can barely stand the thought! The third thought I've had is that perhaps she's growing tired of me with all my ups & downs (and I know, that's pretty illogical, considering her profession!) and was half-way hoping I would stay with the new therapist. She, of course, said that if things went really well with the new T, she would want what's best for me, etc. etc., but reassured me that she would miss working with me while she's out and didn't want me to change therapists 'just because.' I think that made me feel better...as though she values the bond we've formed at least somewhat as much as I.
I will certainly keep you posted on what happens with the substitute...
Penny
This is the end of the thread.
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