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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by christophrejmc on February 25, 2002, at 14:54:01
I just had a disturbing experience...
I was walking my nephew's dog and I walked past a group of high school kids. One of them refered to me as the "man walking the dog." Not "guy," not "person," not "kid," not "boy" -- "Man." Big 'M,' little 'a,' little 'n.' Being called "man" is like being called "sir."
Maybe I'm overreacting, but I never thought that I would be unhappy about growing older (I have just turned twenty). Maybe this is a quarter-life crisis; I can no longer hide behind teenage angst. I have immatured into adulthood, I have to be "serious" about things... No more screwing around. I have to do something with my life, yet I'm as clueless as ever. Isn't life supposed to get easier? What a load of sh!te! Sorry for bitching... It must be because I'm a male and I like to talk about myself a lot (joking!).
-chris (nice day for a sulk)
Posted by swank chick on February 25, 2002, at 16:24:03
In reply to Getting Older, posted by christophrejmc on February 25, 2002, at 14:54:01
ok so here it is, i just turned 21 this month i have a son who is turning !!3!! next month, try that for feeling old!!
understanding your rant
mari
Posted by Fi on February 25, 2002, at 16:44:47
In reply to Getting Older, posted by christophrejmc on February 25, 2002, at 14:54:01
It can be scarey, but honest you are still very young in terms of your whole life. There are loads of people being footloose and 'irresponsible' well into their twenties (and beyond...)
It can also be exciting as you do have more options- but you also have the time to try things and change your mind (eg career wise). Harder in your 40s+, tho still possible sometimes.
If you dont have a 3 year old, it can also be a time you can benefit from not having loads of responsibilities to tie you down- if you want to take an adventurous holiday, you can.
No rush to be a grown up..
Fi
Posted by Kristi on February 25, 2002, at 17:31:25
In reply to Getting Older, posted by christophrejmc on February 25, 2002, at 14:54:01
Can definately relate!!!!! I must be called mam at work about 10 times a day... for some reason it just makes me cringe. Ah..... getting older.
Posted by Willow on February 25, 2002, at 17:33:03
In reply to Re: Getting Older » christophrejmc, posted by Fi on February 25, 2002, at 16:44:47
This was a great time for me! Like Fi said "footloose and fancy free" even being married and having children. I think for me what made it so enjoyable was having energy and having options open.
I use to enjoy going to "penny bingos" with my husband's grandmother. One of her friends welcomed me by calling me, "Madame ...!" Like yourself I didn't like the M... word, I never pictured myself as a madame, mademoiselle yes, but madame never! MaMere explained to me that his was equivalent to Mrs. Gosh, I was still in my teens! (Plus, I had insisted that the words "I will obey," be taken out of my vows.)
I had always looked forward to getting older. Wisdom and wealth! Well now I'm half way their and wealth is still way off and the more I learn I realize the more I don't understand.
Thank you, Chris, for taking me down memory lane.
Whispering Willow
Posted by noa on February 25, 2002, at 17:47:24
In reply to Getting Older, posted by christophrejmc on February 25, 2002, at 14:54:01
Gosh, I remember when kids starting calling me "ma'am"---it drove me nuts!! It's like someone forgot to tell you they assigned you to the opposing team!
> Maybe this is a quarter-life crisis
Have you seen the book by that title? Maybe it would help.
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 25, 2002, at 18:34:30
In reply to Re: Getting Older, posted by noa on February 25, 2002, at 17:47:24
*l* i can so relate to this!! I;m 27 and have recently been called a "lady" and such things.. so wierd not being a girl anymore!! And i got married twop years ago.. a first being Mrs T was quite exciting - now I feel old and written off!!!
BUT - me and my husband are trying to make sure we make the most of this time.. wild exotic holidays, staying out all night.. you know the kind of thing!!
If only I had energy to achieve anything I;d feel better about it all!
nikki
Posted by swank_chick on February 25, 2002, at 19:09:10
In reply to Re: Getting Older » christophrejmc, posted by Fi on February 25, 2002, at 16:44:47
i guess im feeling old because my son is growing up so quickly, and i have had the life circumstances of someone much older, but i wouldnt trade any of that for all the fame in the world, or even britney spears abs. and while my life is way hard and i wanna scream every sencond of it, i dont think i could have it any other way
happily voiceless (the screaming lol)
mari
Posted by Willow on February 25, 2002, at 19:50:18
In reply to responsability, posted by swank_chick on February 25, 2002, at 19:09:10
Mari
When my littles ones were that age they were (and still are) a real joy, but also a handful. What I use to do after dinner was have a sitter take them out for an hour three times a week. The children enjoyed it, plus gave me a little quiet time to myself during the day.
BEST WISHES
Willow
Posted by christophrejmc on February 25, 2002, at 21:21:59
In reply to Re: responsability, posted by Willow on February 25, 2002, at 19:50:18
Thanks a lot for all your replies. I still wish I could go back to being a teen; but, then again, I hated those years! I always wanted to be older; well, I got my wish. There are still "life decisions" to be made, but no-one said they had to be the right ones. I guess I should allow myself room for failure. Thanks for putting my discontent into perspective!
Noa: that book looks great! thanks for mentioning it.
-chris
Posted by Gracie2 on February 25, 2002, at 22:38:04
In reply to Re: responsability, posted by Willow on February 25, 2002, at 19:50:18
It took me a long, lomg time to adjust to the fact that my son was 20 and did not need me anymore. He's my only child and I was stuck to him like a barnacle. Maybe I should have had more kids...my parents had to deal with 5 of us and they couldn't wait for us to get the hell out. They weren't very good parents and I was the only one to have a grandchild.
But my son was the light of my life. He grew up so fast, the time just flew by. Support your kids,
go to their baseball games, read them bedtime stories, teach him how to fly kites and catch crawdads in the creek, join him on the floor with crayons and coloring books. My son can cook an omelet, stuff a turkey, fix his car and a thousand other things that my mother was too busy to teach me. Your kids are only young once...and then it's gone forever.
-Gracie
Posted by swank chick on February 26, 2002, at 9:28:15
In reply to Enjoy them kids, posted by Gracie2 on February 25, 2002, at 22:38:04
as a 21 yr old daughter of 2 very loving and supportive parents i have to tell you that we need you more than ever in our early 20's....there is sooo much change and growing we do at this point in our lives. frankly i couldnt live without talking to my parents every day. i moved away from home at age 16, and i feel much closer to them than i ever did! granted i dont live under their roof so that may be differnt than most young adults my age...but i cant help but think despite their constant "i dont need you to tell me...." they really do.
counting my blessings for great parents
mari
Posted by Waterlily on February 26, 2002, at 12:00:03
In reply to Enjoy them kids, posted by Gracie2 on February 25, 2002, at 22:38:04
>
Your kids are only young once...and then it's gone forever.
> -GracieNope, my kids aren't going to be gone forever. They both plan on building houses on the back acre of our 3 acre lot and mooching off me for the rest of my life! Kidding - actually only kindasorta - the 10 year old now says she's going to move out, but the 7 year old still insists she's going to build back there. I do enjoy them, but I think that people tend to romanticize the past. People used to tell me to enjoy the kids when they were babies. I was beside myself in despair because I did not particularily enjoy the baby stuff, yet I was supposed to and I felt like I was missing something. Looking back, I did love those fuzzy little heads, but it was one heck of a lot of work and I wouldn't go back to that time even if I did have a time machine.
Chris - I and probably everyone on the face of this planet over the age of 18 knows what you're talking about. I just turned 33. I went through a mini 1/3 life crisis several months ago, but got over it. Now it's coming back again ;-) You make me feel old by saying you're old at 20. If you're old at 20, then I've got one foot in the grave. Chin up, young man! (I can say that because I am so much older and wiser than you!)
Posted by Rach on February 27, 2002, at 2:14:52
In reply to Re: Enjoy them kids, posted by Waterlily on February 26, 2002, at 12:00:03
Chris - I turn 21 next month. I know exactly what you are talking about; I have been called Ma'am quite a few times. The first was when I was 19! I was in shock for a week. Just try to focus on the positive things, recognise you can't change the ageing process, and make the most of what you have. You have LOTS of life ahead of you.
Gracie - I agree with one of the other posters, I still need my parents and I cannot imagine a life without them. If something ever seriously happened to them, I think I would be gone. I have so much love for my parents, I no longer live at home with them, but oh my God, I cannot live without them.
Posted by ambrosialdelight on March 3, 2002, at 19:57:00
In reply to Growing old needing parents, posted by Rach on February 27, 2002, at 2:14:52
I think we need parents more when we are adults. Or maybe we need them all the time and I think I need them more now because I am in the present. I definitely know that I recognize and acknowledge this need more as an adult.
As for the ma'am thing, I am 29, and I get angry when someone calls me "Miss". I think (but I don't say out loud yet) "Call me ma'am dammit, I am old enought to be your mama. Show some respect!" I actually had the same reaction when this grey haired older bus driver said "Miss" to me.
This is the end of the thread.
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