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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Rach on February 20, 2002, at 7:50:35
I was going to post this under LiLi80's thread, but then I made this message all about me, and my problems, blah blah blah, so I thought I better post it separately.
I have been down for about a week and a half for a few reasons. Mostly because I am doing a full time performing arts course in dance, and I can't dance at the moment because I have a back injury from a car accident.I said to my friend this afternoon, I'm sorry if I've been annoying to be around, I've just been grumpy because of my back (and not being able to dance, and being in pain etc). She said, yeah, you have been a bitch this week.
I just took this at face value, apologised to her, and went on with my day. It hurt me that she said that, and it wasn't until I got home tonight that I thought about it. Yesterday, I cleaned her bathroom for her (we dyed my hair, and I was cleaning the mess up, then decided to keep cleaning the whole room and do a nice thing for her). On the weekend, I was at my parent's place, so I didn't even see her or speak with her. Thurs & Friday I didn't see/speak to her. Wed I spoke with her on the phone for about 10mins. Tues night we went out together with a big group of friends, but I was home within a few hours because of my injury, and most of that time I was actually driving another friend around. Monday I didn't see her.
So how, and when, exactly, did I have the chance to be a bitch???
Performing Arts is a really ugly industry to be in. People who perform in every life are just too tiring to deal with. I'm naturally a quiet and shy person, and I just cannot force myself to compete with these people in my normal life. I need some time to be grounded. And the bitchiness...the eating disorders...
I'm trying very hard to not take this environment into myself and making a part of me. But I'm confused as to who I am right now. Maybe it is in me already.
Posted by janejj on February 20, 2002, at 16:49:47
In reply to I wish I had different friends, posted by Rach on February 20, 2002, at 7:50:35
Hi Rach,
Maybe she was just feeling a little down herself and decided to take out on you. Or maybe she was just being sarcastic. In any event don't let a small comment, blow into something huge . try not to dwell on it. If it happens again, then ask her why she is being nasty to you. It sounds like you're in a pressured, stressful environment, so try and take some time out for yourself and do things to make yourself feel better and build your self esteem.
Good luck Jane
Posted by Fi on February 21, 2002, at 15:44:16
In reply to I wish I had different friends, posted by Rach on February 20, 2002, at 7:50:35
If she says something like that again, one approach would be to ask her- preferably calmly if you can- what things you did or said which she means. Something like that her friendship matters to you, and you want to know more about what you are doing?
That field is notorious for having a brittle, self absorbed culture. I hope you have some links with people outside it too, who are more calm and sensible!
The car accident must have been a psychologically as well as physically stressful experience for you, too. Any ways you can be nice to yourself now are a good idea. And I would agree with the advice not to dwell on what your friend said- move on?
Friends can be hard work (I dont put in enough so dont have enough, really), but are worth it.
Honest!Fi
Posted by sid on February 21, 2002, at 21:27:14
In reply to Re: I wish I had different friends, posted by Fi on February 21, 2002, at 15:44:16
I've been living in different countries for years and I came back to where I grew up last year. I have one friend left in this city - the others I had before moved away too. I see her from time to time, but there's no fun anymore... I don't know. We've changed I guess. Otherwise, I work a lot and I don't have much occasions to meet new people and sometimes it's frustrating. Thank God I don't mind solitude. Plus, with my depressive past, I never settled down or had kids, I'm not in tune with most people my age. I don't have a pension fund, I don't have a stable job, I don't change diapers all day, etc... I'm not bored, on the contrary - if anything I have too many interests in life! But I am lonely at times. I like solitude, but too much of it can get to me.
So I wish I had different friends than the one I have here too. I have better friends elsewhere, that I left behind each time I moved, and I appreciate that. But e-mails and phone calls are limited in terms of human contact. Oh well.
- sid
Posted by Greg on February 21, 2002, at 21:31:41
In reply to I wish I had different friends, posted by Rach on February 20, 2002, at 7:50:35
This is the end of the thread.
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