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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by creature on February 1, 2002, at 23:39:44
for taking advantage of this group
i post and post without offering anyone else support or encouragement
I am very needy and have nothing to give to others
and I know you all have your own struggles without me being a vampire and sucking you dry
Posted by kiddo on February 2, 2002, at 1:26:53
In reply to I'm sorry all, posted by creature on February 1, 2002, at 23:39:44
You aren't taking advantage of the group, that's what it and us are here for. Everyone goes through a time of being in need. This is your time, no need to feel guilty, or upset about it, don't give it another thought. You certainly don't need to add another stresser to your already too long a list.
There are MANY wonderful people on the board-you being one of them. Accept it for what it is and know you are welcome to ask for help anytime you need it. You are definitely deserving.
I'm sorry to hear about everything that's going on with you. Take this this time to spend with Rick, focus your time on the two of you. Take the phone off the hook, and him in your arms and let everything else go. Is there anything else more important right now? Someone else mentioned the paper plates, etc., good ideas. Do everything you can think of to make the load lighter.
When you cook make extra, put them in individual dishes and freeze them for later. Then when you thaw them out, you'll have dinner ready.Be sure to take some time for you. Doing something to relax you. A bubble bath by candlelight, relaxing and it's something you have to do anyway. It's one of my favorite ways to relax. Read a book, or whatever it is that helps you unwind.
You are right, Rick needs you right now, so focus your energy and support on him and we'll give you what we can.
If your mother upsets you, stop contact, at least temporarily. Stress not only takes away from the one who needs you the most, but will eventually tear YOU apart, you don't need to become sick yourself.
I apologize for not having any magic answers or sage advice. I will listen and reply when I can though, you aren't alone here.
Take care and know my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Kiddo
> for taking advantage of this group
>
> i post and post without offering anyone else support or encouragement
>
> I am very needy and have nothing to give to others
> and I know you all have your own struggles without me being a vampire and sucking you dry
Posted by IsoM on February 2, 2002, at 2:39:15
In reply to I'm sorry all, posted by creature on February 1, 2002, at 23:39:44
> > "...for taking advantage of this group"
That's what we're here for & I don't feel like you're taking advantage of us even the slightest. You're one person bearing all this - unburdening yourself to us will help spread it out. We WANT to be able to help in whatever small way we can.
Kiddo's advice is good. Don't answer the phone, concentrate on Rick & yourself. That's important.
Your Mom *IS* being a bitch - I don't know her, maybe she's acting this way from the tumour. If she normally acts this mean-spirited, let her vent her venom on others for a while. Who's the mature one now - the mother or the child?
What a pity she's so petty when you could use her support a bit. Her teeth won't fall out from not being cleaned today or even this month, right? Let her rant. Picture yourself as a well-preened duck & her cruel words are drops of water splashing you but rolling off you like rain does a duck. Dry & warm underneath & inside.
When I was younger, it seemed that people gave support, encouragement, & help to me so much & I had so little to give to others. One friend, 14 years older than me, told me to think of two things. 1- You can never repay all the people who've helped you, but you can pass this on to others in time, who'll need help themselves & be unable to repay you. And 2- Just appreciating what others have done for you & letting them know it & thanking them is enough.
Take care & keep on coming back here.
Posted by ST on February 2, 2002, at 4:32:52
In reply to I'm sorry all, posted by creature on February 1, 2002, at 23:39:44
You're just taking on more worry and you don't need to do that! It's all about trading off. This month YOU need support, next month it's your friend who does...good relationships work that way. The roles change and you wear different hats. Right now, YOU need comfort, YOU need peace and quiet, YOU need time to take care of yourself, YOU need time to focus only on what you want to. So at another point in your life you'll have the energy to listen and support and be there for someone else. What goes around comes around.
Sarah
> for taking advantage of this group
>
> i post and post without offering anyone else support or encouragement
>
> I am very needy and have nothing to give to others
> and I know you all have your own struggles without me being a vampire and sucking you dry
Posted by Phil on February 2, 2002, at 7:23:31
In reply to I'm sorry all, posted by creature on February 1, 2002, at 23:39:44
creature,
I am sorry that you're going through a series of very difficult life events. At the same time, no less.
This forum is for support and I wish we all could offer more than words. Please don't beat yourself up for sharing your pain with us. Everybody on this board is intimately familiar with it. You write ALL you can.
I can offer my prayers but God has an early tee time so I'll register my hopes and wishes for you after he double bogey's the course. Sorry. I seem to make jokes to deflect pain.
Please keep in touch with us. The people on this board are the best..we won't let you down.Peace,
Phil
Posted by Mair on February 2, 2002, at 10:22:29
In reply to Re: I'm sorry all, posted by Phil on February 2, 2002, at 7:23:31
Lynn
I agree with everything others have written. You're going through an awful time and are deserving of every bit of support we can give. I take a longer range view of Board participation. There are times when you need support and other times when you're in a position to offer some support. It all comes out in the wash.
I realize that you have an awful lot of obligations now, but it's important that you find a few slivers of time to take care of yourself. Maybe you can work out a schedule with your new T so in doesn't interfere with Rick's appointments. The drive to the T and the drive back may provide you with a measure of solitude you need. I'm also a huge believer in hot bubble baths. (-: Is there anyway you could hire some help with your Mom? Just someone who could drive her to appts. etc
Mair
Posted by sid on February 2, 2002, at 13:00:20
In reply to I'm sorry all, posted by creature on February 1, 2002, at 23:39:44
Don't be sorry, many of us, or at least, I have been there too. I needed a lot and had nothing to give in return because I was so low. Now I'm better and I still need others, but I am giving again, from time to time. I understand your need and I am sure others do too.
Plus, remember that if we answer your posts it's because we want to. Nobody forces us to do it, so it's our own responsibility; you don't have to feel guilty about that. Remember: guilt is a symptom of depression. Let yourself off the hook for this and make sure you do your best to heal. That's all you owe... yourself!
- sid
Posted by Krazy Kat on February 2, 2002, at 15:58:10
In reply to I'm sorry all, posted by creature on February 1, 2002, at 23:39:44
We all go through times when we're just too exhausted to offer anything to others, and need to take the help offered us. Don't worry - when you feel better, you'll be able to help more.
I completely understand the "guilt" though. :)
- KK
Posted by tina on February 2, 2002, at 16:42:11
In reply to I'm sorry all, posted by creature on February 1, 2002, at 23:39:44
Oh please creature. When your life isn't so chaotic, you'll chime in with your support, I know it. But for now, YOU need US and that's okay. It's a give and take hun. We'll give as long as you need us and you'll give when you can. Don't worry about things like this. Keep your strength for what you and Rick are going through.
Blessings
tina
> for taking advantage of this group
>
> i post and post without offering anyone else support or encouragement
>
> I am very needy and have nothing to give to others
> and I know you all have your own struggles without me being a vampire and sucking you dry
This is the end of the thread.
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