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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Rosa on November 2, 2001, at 7:12:07
How would you describe unconditional love? Is it the ability to give and receive nothing in return? Do you feel you received unconditional love as a child? Have you ever loved someone "unconditionally"?
Posted by Dinah on November 2, 2001, at 9:47:05
In reply to What is unconditional love?, posted by Rosa on November 2, 2001, at 7:12:07
> How would you describe unconditional love? Is it the ability to give and receive nothing in return? Do you feel you received unconditional love as a child? Have you ever loved someone "unconditionally"?
I don't think I believe in unconditional love in the form of unconditional positive regard or unconditional acceptance. I think the best you can hope for is unconditional attachment. My parents might not "love" me or my brother all the time, but they will always hope for the best for us. They will always be interested in what we do. If they think we are on the wrong track, they will grieve for us and they will always hope we will turn ourselves around. They will always do what they can to help us. Of course, that help may not be in the form we want. They may strongly disapprove of us or even dislike us at any given time, but they will never be disinterested in us.
I'm pretty sure that no one gives indefinitely while expecting nothing in return. That sounds more like victimhood than unconditional love.
Just my own rather cynical opinion.
Posted by susan C on November 2, 2001, at 11:24:08
In reply to What is unconditional love?, posted by Rosa on November 2, 2001, at 7:12:07
I would like to think I have raised my children with unconditional love. That they know I (we)love them no matter what. That I may not like what they 'do' but i will always love them as people. I was always, or tried to be, attentive to how i referred to them, as not 'you are a good boy' but rather 'what you did was good'. The person and the deed were always separate. I learned much of my child raising from my parents (of course) but also from the 1970's alternative teaching I studied in college. I'm OK you're Ok, stuff now I look at and groan...but it did bring a self awareness to me and identify a respect and consideration for children, be they 1 month old or 50 years. This is all the ideal, of course, what I think I have done. I know I can not trust when I am ill, I know I am going through empty nest, I wish I could be more of a friend to people around me. I am a recluse, trying to come out of my shell.
a reflective mouse
susan C
Posted by Greg A. on November 2, 2001, at 13:30:52
In reply to What is unconditional love?, posted by Rosa on November 2, 2001, at 7:12:07
> How would you describe unconditional love? Is it the ability to give and receive nothing in return?
Not so much receiving nothing in return, but expecting nothing. I think it happens all the time.
Posted by Dinah on November 2, 2001, at 13:42:49
In reply to Re: What is unconditional love?, posted by susan C on November 2, 2001, at 11:24:08
Maybe it depends on how you define love. Is love a feeling or is it the actions of caring and commitment? Unconditional love is such an extreme idea that extreme and unlikely circumstances always pop into my mind in response. I'm pretty sure there are circumstances where even the most wonderful parent wouldn't feel loving, but that same parent might do loving, if that makes any sense.
Posted by stjames on November 2, 2001, at 14:29:05
In reply to What is unconditional love?, posted by Rosa on November 2, 2001, at 7:12:07
Have you ever loved someone "unconditionally"?
Pets give you unconditional love.
Posted by Dinah on November 2, 2001, at 16:04:40
In reply to Re: What is unconditional love?, posted by stjames on November 2, 2001, at 14:29:05
> Have you ever loved someone "unconditionally"?
>
>
> Pets give you unconditional love.I'm not so sure about that. That "unconditional" always throws me. If you were nothing but cruel and vicious to a pet, I don't think they would love you. Fear you and submit to you yes, love you no. But I guess I'm being way too literal, as always.
Posted by susan C on November 2, 2001, at 17:22:45
In reply to Re: What is unconditional love?, posted by Dinah on November 2, 2001, at 13:42:49
> Maybe it depends on how you define love. Is love a feeling or is it the actions of caring and commitment? Unconditional love is such an extreme idea that extreme and unlikely circumstances always pop into my mind in response. I'm pretty sure there are circumstances where even the most wonderful parent wouldn't feel loving, but that same parent might do loving, if that makes any sense.
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on November 2, 2001, at 19:58:54
In reply to What is unconditional love?, posted by Rosa on November 2, 2001, at 7:12:07
> How would you describe unconditional love? Is it the ability to give and receive nothing in return? Do you feel you received unconditional love as a child? Have you ever loved someone "unconditionally"?
Dear Rosa,Unconditional love is loving someone without
conditions or limits. It means not putting any restrictions to your love that you have for
someone else. I don't know if any of us can
match that definition. What do you think? Then
again, what is love if it is not unconditional??
Also, I believe that we must love ourselves unconditionally if we are to love someone else
unconditionally. How come you ask, by the way;
I'm just curious?Glenn
Posted by medlib on November 3, 2001, at 2:31:08
In reply to What is unconditional love?, posted by Rosa on November 2, 2001, at 7:12:07
Unconditional love is acceptance without "ifs"What I'd like to know is whether that's a positive or a negative feedback loop.
medlib
Posted by Rosa on November 3, 2001, at 6:53:46
In reply to Re: What is unconditional love?, posted by Glenn Fagelson on November 2, 2001, at 19:58:54
Perhaps only God is capable of giving unconditional love. Often our expectations lead to disappointments. Many of us fear rejection or abandonment.
Dear Rosa,
Unconditional love is loving someone without conditions or limits. It means not putting any restrictions to your love that you have for someone else. I don't know if any of us can match that definition. What do you think? Then again, what is love if it is not unconditional??
Also, I believe that we must love ourselves unconditionally if we are to love someone else
unconditionally. How come you ask, by the way;
I'm just curious?
Glenn
Posted by Shar on November 3, 2001, at 17:52:54
In reply to What is unconditional love?, posted by Rosa on November 2, 2001, at 7:12:07
Unconditional love is only understood and given by dogs. Humans are incapable of it.
Shar
> How would you describe unconditional love? Is it the ability to give and receive nothing in return? Do you feel you received unconditional love as a child? Have you ever loved someone "unconditionally"?
Posted by Moulin Rouge on November 3, 2001, at 20:24:13
In reply to What is unconditional love?, posted by Rosa on November 2, 2001, at 7:12:07
Posted by Rosa on November 4, 2001, at 6:56:40
In reply to Something only a dog can give. (nm), posted by Moulin Rouge on November 3, 2001, at 20:24:13
Posted by storm on November 4, 2001, at 22:05:25
In reply to What is unconditional love?, posted by Rosa on November 2, 2001, at 7:12:07
Unconditional love is truly loving someone without expecting anything in return.
I know I was and still am loved unconditionally by my parents. they may dislike what I do, get angry with me, but they never stop loving me for a second. love is an action in most ways; it is putting someone else first, doing all you can for them or the action of leaving them when it is best. you do what is for their benefit. sometimes loving is leaving someone, if that is best for their life. you can love them from a distance. always hoping the best for them, praying, etc.
sometimes with unconditional love, a person does recieve as much or more love as given. there is a man that I love unconditionally, and he loves me unconditionally. it is a gift from God, I don't know why I have this. I don't believe I deserve something so precious. to me, unconditionally love going both ways is the absolute best gift in the world. neither of us worry about any promises being broken. there are none. but love is there, and we don't ever doubt it will wither. it is something you feel, and something you become so thankful for. it my case, it is trust, trust of committment, understanding. I pray everyone could have such a thing in their life. it is heaven. it is so strong that at times I believe it saved my life. maybe what I have with this man is more than unconditional love, I don't know. I have unconditional love for my parents and them for me, but it isn't so new I suppose. it's something that's come to be expected; yet it is still unconditional as with the man. and there are no sexual feelings, no romance with this man. strictly friendship, and whatever one describes unconditional love as.
I believe that if one loves unconditionally someone that does not return it, it can possibly turn to hurt, to expecting something back. and that would be unhealthy. but if a person truly has unconditional love, no obsessions, no expectations, it is beautiful and good. I suppose it is just that much more difficult to have unconditional love for someone that cannot return even a piece of it. that's the best I can explain it, just my opinions.> How would you describe unconditional love? Is it the ability to give and receive nothing in return? Do you feel you received unconditional love as a child? Have you ever loved someone "unconditionally"?
Posted by Jonathan on November 8, 2001, at 13:52:50
In reply to Re: What is unconditional love?, posted by storm on November 4, 2001, at 22:05:25
This is the end of the thread.
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