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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Cass on June 21, 2001, at 16:13:07
I adore my psychiatrist. He is a genuine, caring person. I know that many pdocs keep their distance from clients. That's part of therapy. But my pdoc is very open and personal. I feel like he is a friend. The problem is this, I recently did something I was not especially proud of, and I didn't want to tell him because I did not want to risk losing his esteem. I think perhaps that's the problem with being too familiar with one's pdoc. I needed to discuss some isssues, but I was afraid to. I know he respects me and thinks highly of me, and I just don't want to lose that. What do you think?
Posted by Willow on June 21, 2001, at 17:02:28
In reply to How familiar should one be with pdoc?, posted by Cass on June 21, 2001, at 16:13:07
I think it is his method of therapy. Get your trust and confidence, so you'll be comfortable talking. Hate to be the bearer of bad news! Just my opinion ...
Willow
Posted by Cass on June 21, 2001, at 17:09:45
In reply to Re: How familiar should one be with pdoc?, posted by Willow on June 21, 2001, at 17:02:28
> I think it is his method of therapy. Get your trust and confidence, so you'll be comfortable talking. Hate to be the bearer of bad news! Just my opinion ...
>
> WillowWhy is that bad news? Are you saying his esteem for me is not real?
Posted by Willow on June 21, 2001, at 18:52:15
In reply to Re: How familiar should one be with pdoc?, posted by Cass on June 21, 2001, at 17:09:45
No! Just that the feelings aren't as personable. He's there to help you with the good and the bad.
I'm dealing with the same issue after seeing the same pysch for three years, he was involved indirectly when I was a teenager.
I was probably thinking of my own feelings. Thinking it would be easier if he was a girlfriend that I could call in the eveing to chat with.
Willow
Posted by Phil on June 21, 2001, at 20:52:44
In reply to How familiar should one be with pdoc?, posted by Cass on June 21, 2001, at 16:13:07
> I adore my psychiatrist. He is a genuine, caring person. That's part of therapy. But my pdoc is very open and personal. I feel like he is a friend.
Cass..I read once how many folks go into therapy and speak about themselves like they are holding a press conference. Heavy editing! That always stuck with me.
My true friends take me as I am and I don't usually worry about how they would react to me doing something wrong.
Sounds like you want him to see you as more than you are. Maybe like you are incapable of bad judgement. I'm guessing here but I 'do' know that in any therapeutic relationship it's really a good idea to be VERY honest. It's the very core of these relationships and we, as patients, probably shouldn't get into trying to seem like anyone except our true selves.
Then we can leave the docs office and put on our game faces for the rest of the world.
Posted by JennyR on June 21, 2001, at 22:40:59
In reply to How familiar should one be with pdoc?, posted by Cass on June 21, 2001, at 16:13:07
I've felt what you describe. But the main thing with therapy is, it's Your therapy. And you don't help yourself by holding back. You just end up not dealing with something that it might be helpful to deal with. I'm crazy about my therapist and was reluctant to tell things I'm ashamed of, afraid of what he would think. But a good therapist will just help you understand your behaviors and the underlying feelings. They don't judge you. And the more embarrassed or ashamed I've been, the more he's supported me.
I think that's the issue here, your fear of being judged, rather than how familiar should he be with you. He shouldn't be telling you much personal stuff, it's just not professional, and the more of the "blank screen" they are, the better for you revealing yourself. The blank screen thing doesn't mean cold, they can be warm and supportive and keep the focus solely on you.
If we think our therapist is wonderful, we want them to think we're wonderful. But censoring ourselves in therapy so they'll like us more or we make ourselve think they'll like us more is just shooting ourselves in the foot.
Posted by Cass on June 22, 2001, at 12:22:04
In reply to How familiar should one be with pdoc?, posted by Cass on June 21, 2001, at 16:13:07
I'm pulling my thread into the new archive because, I posted at the end. Thank-you for your responses so far.
Posted by Button on June 29, 2001, at 19:07:49
In reply to Re: How familiar should one be with pdoc?, posted by Cass on June 22, 2001, at 12:22:04
I understand your feelings, because I've really been struggling with this myself lately. But deep down I know that his feelings about me don't really mean anything if he just sees the "fake" me that almost everyone else sees. If I can take the plunge and let him know the bad parts of me, and he still supports and cares for me (and I will know if he does), then I will really have a relationship that can heal me. That's what I need more than anything, and why I am in therapy. Try to think about why you are there.
This is the end of the thread.
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