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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 24 of 24. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 2, 2001, at 5:40:56
ANd.. well. WHy did I bother?? he has put me BACK to Effexor, but I refused to take anything other than 300mg... when I was lowered to 22m,g I got really lathargic and felt myself slipping back down hill.. anyway, he told me that I;'d imagined the lathargy at lower doeses, and that I should be worse at 300mg!!!
At which point I burst into tears - silly I know, but i couldn't help it.
I ahve to go back in three weeks... if there is no improvement he is arranging for me to go into hospital for 3 weeks. I asked about day hospital and he said there isn't any near us (I know for a fact there is) and it would be pointless. he also said he will investigate ECT while I'm in as he is reaching the end of anythng he can do for me, so maybe ect is the answer.
I never thought I'd hear that.
SO... I am going to try and avoid going back to him. I'm going to speak to my mum and ask if she can lend me money to go private... he's a bastard as far as I'm concerned and useless with it.
There!!! Had my rant!
Nikki
Posted by Noa on February 2, 2001, at 7:33:35
In reply to I saw the pdoc this morning..., posted by NikkiT2 on February 2, 2001, at 5:40:56
Definitely time for a consult. It is hard for me to understand why he would take you off effexor (and make you go through that hell) and then put you right back on it again. And, no, ECT is not necessarily the next step--you have definitely not tried that many combos of meds.
His frustration is apparent and it seems to me that he is used to dealing with "simple" cases where one med works. You need a doc who can give you a sense of hope because he is willing to try different strategies.
Good for you for asking you mom for financial help with this. There is nothing more important.
Posted by Greg on February 2, 2001, at 8:31:23
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning..., posted by Noa on February 2, 2001, at 7:33:35
I'm with Noa on this one Nik. It really makes my head spin to think that you would be taken off Effexor and then put back on so quickly, especially with the probs it was causing you before. IMHO, ECT should be a last gasp consideration for you, there are a lot of med combos you haven't tried yet. It took seven months for me to find the right one.
Definitely time to look for a new pdoc.
xxoo,
Greg
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 2, 2001, at 10:19:33
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning..., posted by Noa on February 2, 2001, at 7:33:35
Apparently, he is not allowed to rty combos.. he said combos (when I started saying people here used combos) Grrr....
Posted by Noa on February 2, 2001, at 10:44:51
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning... » Noa, posted by NikkiT2 on February 2, 2001, at 10:19:33
not allowed? By whom?
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 2, 2001, at 11:12:44
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning..., posted by Noa on February 2, 2001, at 10:44:51
Sorry... I didn't finish that post!!!
++++++++++++++++++
Apparently, he is not allowed to rty combos.. he said combos (when I started saying people here used combos) are dangerous and should only ever be prescribed in hospital!!! But surely they don't know quickly whether they're working, so i could end up in hospital for ages!!!!!
++++++++++++++++++He didn't say who wouldn't let him...
Posted by judy1 on February 2, 2001, at 16:48:48
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning... » Noa, posted by NikkiT2 on February 2, 2001, at 11:12:44
Hi Nikki,
A few of the psychiatrists I have seen in the past have been very threatened when I have brought up info I gathered from this forum and my own research on the net. It sounds as if your present shrink may be one of them. I'm sure everyone here can testify how truly difficult it is to find a compassionate, intelligent and open shrink- and it sounds especially difficult in your situation. I wish I had a solution for you, you said it will take 4 months to see someone recommended- is there any way to access the Department of Psychiatry at the University closest to you? I know London has some fine institutions. If you could call and speak to the Department head's secretary and explain your situation perhaps she could recommend the proper person and move things along. This is the way I got into see Hagop Akiskal (a prominant bipolar expert in California). Still wishing you good luck. Take care, Judy
Posted by CarolynAnn on February 2, 2001, at 19:41:07
In reply to I saw the pdoc this morning..., posted by NikkiT2 on February 2, 2001, at 5:40:56
>Hi, Nikki. I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience. Yes, I agree, a new doctor may be in order...only you can decide that. I don't think it is silly at all that you burst into tears, but very understandable. You've hoped to get some help when you're feeling really desperate, and the one person you thought might be able to help has let you down. That's a pretty good reason for tears if you ask me! Why would he arbitrarily pick three weeks in hospital, I also wonder. I had ECT myself, and it was not so bad. Not that I'm advocating it for you...only you can know if it would be right, or might help. But it did help me for a while. I never had the follow up treatments, so can't say if the effect would have lasted. But it certainly was nothing like the horror stories you hear. I was left with just a headache after each treatment, which Tylenol took care of, and I still have memory loss around that time period...but no memory loss of other periods of my life. And perhaps it's just as well I don't remember what that particular time was like! Anyway, I'm thinking of you a lot, and praying for you. You mentioned in an earlier thread that you had cut yourself. I also have done that. Are you doing it now? Also, I've wondered if there are support groups you might go to? I facilitate a group here, and it is really helpful I think to be able to exchange ideas in person with others who really understand. I've grown quite fond of you, so please stay safe!
Carolyn
Posted by quilter on February 2, 2001, at 22:39:30
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning... » NikkiT2, posted by CarolynAnn on February 2, 2001, at 19:41:07
Nikki- Is the proper British description for such a person a twit or a twat? Of course you may substitute any 4 letter word your little heart desires....
Quilter
Posted by mars on February 2, 2001, at 23:10:56
In reply to I saw the pdoc this morning..., posted by NikkiT2 on February 2, 2001, at 5:40:56
Rant on, sister! Hey, I go for a new-intake-start-the-search-again tomorrow. I'm in Seattle. I'll be thinking of you. Your notes to me have helped so much. That pdoc just sounds awful, I've been there, but if you persevere and keep listening to yourself you can get somewhere better. (I've done it, and now I gotta do it again.) You got great feedback from others about this, maybe we should take up a collection so we can fly Judy over to help you get hooked up with someone good?
You are such a lovely person. Don't forget that. And even when you don't feel good you keep helping other people. You have a big heart.
luff,
mars
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 3, 2001, at 7:15:12
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning... » NikkiT2, posted by judy1 on February 2, 2001, at 16:48:48
I never actually thought of that.. My husband works in the largest teaching hospital in London (he's a prgrammer foe hospital pharmacy systems!) so he might be able to et me some contacts... I just have problems opening up and telling husband how bad things are!!
Managed to tell my mum though - I should hagve said this sooner. I've hidden everything from my family (fear of being laughed at) but finally broke down 2 weeks ago and told my mum evrything - and she's been brilliant!!!! Wish I'd done it sooner!
Nikki x
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 3, 2001, at 7:18:33
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning... » NikkiT2, posted by CarolynAnn on February 2, 2001, at 19:41:07
What a lovelly post, thanks.
i gop to a stress management group on a tuesday, but haven't even managed to makwe it to that the past 2 weeks... (got a lovely letter from the group leader this morning though, saying everyone was worriedn and sends their love, and could I just get in touch to say I was still alive and kicking!)... b That finishes in 2 weeks though.
I'm not really cutting right now (I did on a week ago, but it was a one off).. I am "poking" myself though.. sticking sewing needles in arm & stomach... jyst little holes though.
Thanks for the concern
Nikki xx
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 3, 2001, at 7:20:26
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning..., posted by quilter on February 2, 2001, at 22:39:30
LOL
Well, yes!!! I'd go for twat cos it's just SO much ruder!!! (Twit is just general idiot.. twat much stronger as it's also a slang word for.. a ladies private parts!!! Not quite as strong as the C word i was reffering to him as though!!! he he he!)
Nikkix
Posted by judy1 on February 3, 2001, at 10:55:34
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning... » judy1, posted by NikkiT2 on February 3, 2001, at 7:15:12
Now that you've seen how your Mom reacted so positively, I'm sure your husband will be even more supportive. I felt the same way- but once I told him some things that I had kept bottled up- he was wonderful. My therp says everyone you see out and about that you think are leading perfectly normal lives, really aren't. We all carry our own personal pain. The brave ones face it and deal with it. Ask your husband to talk to someone in the Psychiatry Department about your situation and go from there. Take care, Judy
Posted by judy1 on February 3, 2001, at 10:59:24
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning... » CarolynAnn, posted by NikkiT2 on February 3, 2001, at 7:18:33
Nikki- are you dissociating when you are self-injuring (poking with needles) or is this a concious act? Have you been working on using other coping skills? A concerned judy....
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 3, 2001, at 12:20:49
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning... » NikkiT2, posted by judy1 on February 3, 2001, at 10:59:24
No.. I;m very conciuosly doing it... Totally intrigued by it you know?... I get myself into a real panicy not knowing what to do stage, and I do that as it gives me some feeling... takes me out of the sheer tense panic...
And what do you mean by coping skills?? I guess not anyway.. I have a stress clinic that helps mainly with self esteem.. but it didn't have any effect on me... nothihng that anyone says will make me feel better about me you know... And it's only a 12 week course.. done 10 weeks so far!!!
n
Posted by judy1 on February 3, 2001, at 13:00:19
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning... » judy1, posted by NikkiT2 on February 3, 2001, at 12:20:49
Well you are using this (SI) as a coping skill, it's just not a real healthy one. Since I dissociate before I do it, I'm learning on how to keep myself grounded which sounds like it doesn't apply to you. There is a specific therapy designed for self-injurers called DBT (I've written about it here somewhere) and Marsha Linehan (sp?) is the guru. Basically when your tension is mounting you need to seek an alternative coping skill- sometimes a physical activity (running, walking) will help. I haven't gotten to that stage yet, we're still working on keeping me grounded. But my therp did tell me that this is a very long process (like years, I guess) Take care, Judy
Posted by caroline on February 4, 2001, at 3:27:03
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning... » Noa, posted by NikkiT2 on February 2, 2001, at 10:19:33
Nikki,
I'm also in the UK. My PDoc said he couldn't prescribe combo's, so I did my research (mostly at PB) and presented my case to my GP. My GP gave me the prescription within five minutes of my entering the room. Have you tried your GP?
Best of luck
Caroline
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 4, 2001, at 8:59:48
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning..., posted by caroline on February 4, 2001, at 3:27:03
Its a 3 1/2 week wait to see a GP!!! god I love the NHS (I live in central London and it seems you can only get appointments if you're a junkie!)
Plus, they aren't interested really there - the one c\aring G P who I really liked has now left...I am going to get more info off to show him, but in a 10 minute appt once a month, there seems so little can be done...
I'll give it a try - still got to find time to have someblood tests for lithium!!!
Thanks alot
Nikki
Posted by judy1 on February 4, 2001, at 9:17:52
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning... » caroline , posted by NikkiT2 on February 4, 2001, at 8:59:48
Ahah! Junkie! Perhaps you are concerned about an increasing desire for benzos (are you on any?) Or are so discouraged opiates feel like your only option. Will that speed things up?? Remember, 60% (in some studies) of people with bipolar disorder have a comorbid substance abuse problem. I do, actually. When I call to change shrinks with my insurance, they always ask if I'm having problems with drugs- if I say yes- 24 hour! return call from the shrink. Maybe they get paid double. Just throwing out anything in an attempt to get you seen- Judy
Posted by CarolynAnn on February 4, 2001, at 13:24:52
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning... » CarolynAnn, posted by NikkiT2 on February 3, 2001, at 7:18:33
> Were you cutting yourself in an attempt to do serious harm, or just because it was better to suffer the physical pain than the emotional pain (my reason)? Most doctors,I've found, have no understanding of this. Maybe they never have any emotional pain! I am having up and down days...yesterday was great. Today not. Go figure. It is 2:30 p.m. here, so you are probably just now getting up. I hope this is a good day for you!
C.
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 4, 2001, at 14:28:49
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning... » NikkiT2, posted by judy1 on February 4, 2001, at 9:17:52
Nope - no benzos or anything!!!
It's the queue for the methodone in the mornings at the docs... wonderful!!!
N
Posted by ksvt on February 4, 2001, at 20:11:38
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning... » judy1, posted by NikkiT2 on February 3, 2001, at 7:15:12
> I just have problems opening up and telling husband how bad things are!!
>
>Nikki - Been there done that and it doesn't work. Depression in its worst form can be profoundly isolating. Even it I can't talk to my husband about what's going on, I'm working on ways to communicate that I may need his non-verbal support. Men are problem solvers (or so my therapist tells me). Your husband might really like having something tangible that he can do to help - like finding you better medical care. Please keep posting. (BTW - I love your "yawns" posts on PBA. You obviously have a great spirit that you need to be drawing on now) K
Posted by Noa on February 5, 2001, at 6:42:16
In reply to Re: I saw the pdoc this morning..., posted by ksvt on February 4, 2001, at 20:11:38
Nikki,
So glad you told your Mom and asked for help to pay for a private doc. There is nothing I can think of that is a better way to spend money than on GOOD care of oneself and one's health.
This is the end of the thread.
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