![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 24 to 48 of 299. Go back in thread:
Posted by coral on November 3, 2000, at 17:40:09
In reply to Re: Ambassador B » coral, posted by B Day on November 3, 2000, at 16:19:59
Dear Mr. B Ambassador,
YEs, I accept the position (that of course is the one on the couch.)
My husband says he decrees the national animal to be the turtle, since the turtle takes its couch anywhere on a moment's notice.
Coral
Posted by B Day on November 3, 2000, at 19:42:05
In reply to Re: The animal is . . . ., posted by coral on November 3, 2000, at 17:40:09
> Dear Mr. B Ambassador,
>
> YEs, I accept the position (that of course is the one on the couch.)
>Through these misty eyes, let me say you honor all Lumptonia with your choice! You are a symbol of our hopeful nation and an inspiration to pupating chocolate-eaters everywhere.
(drum roll)...and now (pregnant pause) I would like to graciously welcome you to the Office Of The Ambassador where I've no doubt but that you will prove to be a most cherished asset! (how's all that for flowery rhetoric?)
> My husband says he decrees the national animal to be the turtle, since the turtle takes its couch anywhere on a moment's notice.
A turtle! What an excellent choice. I'm tellin' ya, that man of yours just impresses me more all the time.
>
> CoralIt has been a memorable and glorious, but mostly a long day for the Ambassador. All this excitement has exhausted me and yet my work is not done. I still have to push the submit and confirm buttons on this post. If I had a long stick, I could have done it from bed.
Mr. B, Ambassador of Lumptonia
Posted by Racer on November 3, 2000, at 23:23:05
In reply to Re: The animal is . . . ., posted by B Day on November 3, 2000, at 19:42:05
And I'm not much on chocolate.
Hm, maybe I can get a green card to Lumpkinville? Lumptonia?
Well, at least I know how to wrap the crysalis! (My SO gets so hot at night that he sleeps with no covers. The quilts I make for the bed have no batting on his side. He comes in to the bedroom, finds me swaddled up with the quilt, and can't believe I'm not like a furnace. I think there's something about depression and the urge to bake or poach oneself.)
Well, for the official bird, how about penguins? They're slow, can't be bothered to fly, never seem to be in a hurry (unless you count fairy penguins, in Oz, where Linus Torvalds was attacked by one), and are always appropriately dressed?
Bats, by the way, are not birds. And they don't really turn into Hungarian men in long capes with red linings, either. I looked it up.
Posted by shar on November 4, 2000, at 0:11:20
In reply to Re: The animal is . . . ., posted by B Day on November 3, 2000, at 19:42:05
Honorable Ambassador and the other one (Couch Person Extraordinaire?) I humbly ask to be a citizen of Lumptonia. Upon my word, I promise to shower, change clothes, move, and expend energy as little as possible. I will wear my moccasins with the holes in them for another 5 years. I vow to support the Kingdom/Queendom throughout my metamorphesis, which shall, by rights, take place on my sofa with my remote and special blankie.
I also will not answer my phone or the door, and instead hope that people will think I am not home. I will only check my mail every other day. I will eat over the sink, except for chocolate which I will hide away in secret and safe places, and take out and enjoy as a forbidden pleasure. That may be our currency, eh?
I hope that I can live up to these standards. The Tortoise has always been my hero.
S
Posted by Emmanuela on November 4, 2000, at 1:51:13
In reply to LOL: Humbly asking admittance to the Kingdom, posted by shar on November 4, 2000, at 0:11:20
There is perhaps an Overthrow on its way - a coo-detach - I feel the seeds of dissent quivering in preparation for germination. And now for the 'complete the sentence' part of the coup - 'Like it or ------ ? The first Pupating Lump to correctly conclude the foregoing sentence will be able to share the Ambassadorial Duties with Master Bob. A toe has been seen trembling outside the blankie, reaching, blindly, like one of the Hungarian men in capes, for the floor. There is a whisper underlying the anthem, the eyeballs are more pink now than red, the banter beginning to change to ...could it be?...yes, music....There is a rumor afoot, that, though certainly not hypomania, a certain, how shall we say, a je n'ce'est pas, a certain joie remembrance has been sighted. And I opt for triple brie studded with garlic as the food mascot. And on second thought, anyone who can write the those lyrics to the anthem deserves to be Ambassador. And in the Articles of Incorporation, or perhaps the Bylaws, I think it necessary to add the necessity for a certain way of looking when we're outside the house - the Look is somewhat askance, and always with eyes slightly averted. The Overthrow? I see now it was simply a blankie. It's so good to belong, ain't it?
Posted by coral on November 4, 2000, at 5:00:07
In reply to LOL: Humbly asking admittance to the Kingdom, posted by shar on November 4, 2000, at 0:11:20
Dear Mr. Ambassador,
::::drum roll:::: imaginery, of course (who'd have the energy to actually play the drums?
Shar has requested admittance and has brought with her our Pledge of Allegiance! (Something we now won't have to worry about doing!!!)
Pesky Racer has been showing signs of independent thought. But, she DID ignore the voices that told her to save France and did describe the first major identifier of a Lumptonian by so aptly describing the proper couch position. She does have some unusual theories, such as bats not becoming men in long capes with fangs. I mean . . . really! How DOES she explain the sleeping in perfectly designed containers during the sunlight hours???
Emmanuela is one we're going to have to watch, sleepy-eyed, very carefully. She MAY be a spy of the French. In a recently intercepted message, I detected actual french words, beyond the acceptable French Fry. I could tell you what the foreign words meant if I could remember my French classes or could be bothered to look them up in my foreign dictionary but . . . well.... the dictionary is all the way upstairs.
All this work has exhausted me. I will convey your positive words to "my man" when he comes into the room . . . undoubtedly, he'll make an appearance for some televised sporting event, roust me from the couch to find the remote control.
That's all the news I have from the horizontal viewpoint. Can't I appoint someone as Official News Correspondent?
Couch Person Extraordinaire
Posted by B Day on November 4, 2000, at 10:04:16
In reply to Sloths are cuter..., posted by Racer on November 3, 2000, at 23:23:05
> Re: Sloths are cuter...
Racer, you bring up an excellent point. (ambassadors always agree with everything people say and tell them it is excellent)
> And I'm not much on chocolate.
>...more food for thought. Ours is a land of diverse culture, opinion and preference. Perhaps we need a way to accommodate this variety. ...a way to steward the cherished values of all Lumtonians...a way to embrace cute stuff like sloths, penguins and butterflies. (notice how ambassadors always manage to weasel out of any sort of commitment or decision-making and throw it off on other people)
> Hm, maybe I can get a green card to Lumpkinville? Lumptonia?
>Dear Racer, you need no green card. The arms of all Lumptonia are open to you. You may travel as you wish and reside on the sofa of your choice.
> Well, at least I know how to wrap the crysalis! (My SO gets so hot at night that he sleeps with no covers. The quilts I make for the bed have no batting on his side. He comes in to the bedroom, finds me swaddled up with the quilt, and can't believe I'm not like a furnace. I think there's something about depression and the urge to bake or poach oneself.)
>Perhaps self-poaching is normal part of the pupating process; one assisting your metamorphasis. I've noticed most of the time, the covers also feel good. I find them easy to adjust for my comfort. It is one of rare luxuries of Lumpism.
> Well, for the official bird, how about penguins? They're slow, can't be bothered to fly, never seem to be in a hurry (unless you count fairy penguins, in Oz, where Linus Torvalds was attacked by one), and are always appropriately dressed?
>The penguin is an excellent choice particularly given the freedom and expressiveness of our society which is in so many ways similar to that of the Open Source community.
> Bats, by the way, are not birds.
Yes!! But do bats know that? I think not, nor would I want to tell them lest they fall to their deaths on the cave floor.
> And they don't really turn into Hungarian men in long capes with red linings, either. I looked it up.
Yes again!! However, I have on occasion turned into a bat! I do not wear a cape however, but rather a quilt. I have a real nice one for formal occasions with matching silk underwear and socks.
Racer, have you given more thought to accepting the Messiah position? The Ambassador thinks you would be excellent for the role (notice how everything's excellent)...as a pupating little butterfly your a beautiful symbol of our emerging nation.
From the couch of The Ambassador's Office,
Your humble servant, B
Posted by B Day on November 4, 2000, at 10:38:35
In reply to Re: Mr. Ambassador, posted by coral on November 4, 2000, at 5:00:07
> Honorable Ambassador and the other one (Couch Person Extraordinaire?) I humbly ask to be a citizen of Lumptonia. Upon my word, I promise to shower, change clothes, move, and expend energy as little as possible.
(gasp)
> I will wear my moccasins with the holes in them for another 5 years.
You got a pair of those too?!! Mine don't have the leather strings anymore either. They are just perfect for scootin' around.
> I vow to support the Kingdom/Queendom throughout my metamorphesis, which shall, by rights, take place on my sofa with my remote and special blankie.
>Listen well my fellow Lumptonians. These are the words of citizenship!
> I also will not answer my phone or the door, and instead hope that people will think I am not home. I will only check my mail every other day. I will eat over the sink, except for chocolate which I will hide away in secret and safe places, and take out and enjoy as a forbidden pleasure. That may be our currency, eh?
>I feel like singing! "Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light,
what so proudly we wail as we haven't slept all night;..."> I hope that I can live up to these standards. The Tortoise has always been my hero.
>
> SShar, your words have moved me to uncontrollable weeping. I've gone through a half a box of Puffs.
On behalf of all Lumptonian people everywhere, welcome to Lumptonia. Indeed...welcome home!
Ambassador B... C:\\ pupating, pupating, pupating...
Posted by Noa on November 4, 2000, at 10:42:03
In reply to Re: Sloths are cuter... » Racer, posted by B Day on November 4, 2000, at 10:04:16
Don't like chocolate? No bother. Potatoes are our second national food, best eaten on the couch, of course. Further alternatives? Anything instant or eaten straight out of the can. Or on paper plates, of course, because dish washing is severely restricted.
We don't need a pledge with a salute, just swear on your sacred pillow that you will bring honor to the legacy of the lump.
One test of loyalty and patriotism is the telephone ring endurance test: how many rings can you withstand without so much as a flinch of muscle, blink of eye, or peeking out from under your afghan cave?
Another good test? Are the shades up or down? Do you have the obligatory shrine in the bedroom? You know, the mound of dirty laundry?
Posted by coral on November 4, 2000, at 11:23:24
In reply to Re: Sloths are cuter... » Racer, posted by B Day on November 4, 2000, at 10:04:16
Of course! What an excellent suggestion that Racer be our Messiah!!!
She may also have hit upon our flag . . . the quilt-clad crysallis emerging into the beautiful butterfly!!!
Self-poaching is indeed part of the pupating process, for me, anyway. Wearing our national uniform of Lumptonia, sweats of course, I wrap up in a fake-fur throw, normally with a feline nuzzling close. Canines are equally welcome (as Shar said, petly support!!) And, the sacred pillow - all so necessary for proper pupating.
Potatoes, too, comprise the proper pupating diet, with chocolate as desired.
We shall find strength in our diversity!!!!
Couch Person Extraordinaire
Posted by B Day on November 4, 2000, at 13:56:22
In reply to Re:Humbly asking admittance to the Kingdom, posted by Emmanuela on November 4, 2000, at 1:51:13
> There is perhaps an Overthrow on its way - a coo-detach - I feel the seeds of dissent quivering in preparation for germination. And now for the 'complete the sentence' part of the coup - 'Like it or ------ ? The first Pupating Lump to correctly conclude the foregoing sentence will be able to share the Ambassadorial Duties with Master Bob.
>(...glad I don't have to do it. It would make my brain hurt.), thinks the Ambassador.
> A toe has been seen trembling outside the blankie, reaching, blindly, like one of the Hungarian men in capes, for the floor. There is a whisper underlying the anthem, the eyeballs are more pink now than red, the banter beginning to change to ...could it be?...yes, music....
>Ah-hh! I've not read such prose since I visited the nation of Halluci!
> There is a rumor afoot, that, though certainly not hypomania, a certain, how shall we say, a je n'ce'est pas, a certain joie remembrance has been sighted. And I opt for triple brie studded with garlic as the food mascot.
>Yes, another excellent nomination, and a part of France possibly worth saving.
> And on second thought, anyone who can write the those lyrics to the anthem deserves to be Ambassador.
>(blush)
> And in the Articles of Incorporation, or perhaps the Bylaws, I think it necessary to add the necessity for a certain way of looking when we're outside the house - the Look is somewhat askance, and always with eyes slightly averted.
>Necessity is the burden of our land; most especially when it's necessary. ...but by wearing our lumpality with distinction, we all become ambassadors of Lumptonia as we are carried through the world.
> The Overthrow? I see now it was simply a blankie. It's so good to belong, ain't it?
>Take comfort (and a comforter) Sister. There will be times when our toes slip out from under our covers. There will be times when someone JUST KEEPS TRYING TO CALL. We may even find ourselves horribly assaulted by cheerful conversation or the turning on of a bright light occasionally. Shudder the thought, but one of us may even run out of chocolate and Brie one day and find ourselves with no one around to go get us more.
In the end though (pausing to muster a serious look) I believe (dramatic pause) ...Lumpism shall prevail o'er all which troubles or threatens the Lumpistic Way.
Your Ambassador
B
Posted by Greg on November 4, 2000, at 14:21:54
In reply to Re:Humbly asking admittance to the Kingdom » Emmanuela, posted by B Day on November 4, 2000, at 13:56:22
To the Lumpites,
I just finished reading all the posts here and find myself with only one question...
To be considered a lump, must one be willing to take their lumps or merely admit to being one?
I think I'll return to my Haven and ponder this for awhile... :^)
Posted by B Day on November 4, 2000, at 15:11:36
In reply to Re: Mr. Ambassador, posted by coral on November 4, 2000, at 5:00:07
> Dear Mr. Ambassador,
>
> ::::drum roll:::: imaginery, of course (who'd have the energy to actually play the drums?
>
> Shar has requested admittance and has brought with her our Pledge of Allegiance! (Something we now won't have to worry about doing!!!)
>Yes, by giving us a Pledge of Allegiance, Shar has more than earned her rightful place on this great couch of a nation and as well as the gratitude of its people by mercifully sparing the rest of us from the hell of pledge-writing. We will all benefit from the fruit of her patriotism and eloquent, prolific effort.
> Pesky Racer has been showing signs of independent thought. But, she DID ignore the voices that told her to save France and did describe the first major identifier of a Lumptonian by so aptly describing the proper couch position.
>Yes, I agree with you nervously at first, but your right and so I agree with you again in hopefullness and finally again with admiration for her. I suppose one should expect such things from a messianic candidate.
> She does have some unusual theories, such as bats not becoming men in long capes with fangs. I mean . . . really! How DOES she explain the sleeping in perfectly designed containers during the sunlight hours???
>Perhaps considering such things disturbs her pupational processes?
> Emmanuela is one we're going to have to watch, sleepy-eyed, very carefully. She MAY be a spy of the French. In a recently intercepted message, I detected actual french words, beyond the acceptable French Fry. I could tell you what the foreign words meant if I could remember my French classes or could be bothered to look them up in my foreign dictionary but . . . well.... the dictionary is all the way upstairs.
>With only a couple of mouse clicks (thankfully) I was able to run the strange words through BabelFish at Alta-Vista, but the translation didn't make any sense. Maybe she was signaling to someone with some kind of code?!! It's all very suspicious.
> All this work has exhausted me. I will convey your positive words to "my man" when he comes into the room . . . undoubtedly, he'll make an appearance for some televised sporting event, roust me from the couch to find the remote control.
>
> That's all the news I have from the horizontal viewpoint. Can't I appoint someone as Official News Correspondent?
>Why I think that's a great idea! Maybe you can get your husband to do it. He could certainly provide us with fresh opinion as well. Even though he may not be a fully-fledged Lumptonian yet, I have no doubt that some day he will be if he continues to hang around us! He would be a fine addition to our society.
> Couch Person ExtraordinaireYour Co-Ambassador,
B
Posted by B Day on November 4, 2000, at 16:05:29
In reply to Re: Sloths are cuter..., posted by Noa on November 4, 2000, at 10:42:03
> Don't like chocolate? No bother. Potatoes are our second national food, best eaten on the couch, of course.
>Within reasonable bounds, the people of Lumptonia are admirably tolerant. I view this as a sign that our society is rapidly advancing in withdrawal.
> Further alternatives? Anything instant or eaten straight out of the can. Or on paper plates, of course, because dish washing is severely restricted.
>...and they are wise beyond their ears as well!
> We don't need a pledge with a salute, just swear on your sacred pillow that you will bring honor to the legacy of the lump.
>A great lump can be built upon this so simple, but strong foundation.
> One test of loyalty and patriotism is the telephone ring endurance test: how many rings can you withstand without so much as a flinch of muscle, blink of eye, or peeking out from under your afghan cave?
>Now that's a real test of a Lumptonian's metal; one possibly worthy of consideration as a national sport?!
> Another good test? Are the shades up or down?
Amen! We can never be to wary of the possibility of exposure to sunlight.
> Do you have the obligatory shrine in the bedroom? You know, the mound of dirty laundry?
>This is right at the very heart of Lumpism. Myself, I have several such shrines in various parts of the house my cave is in.
Noa, you expound the nature of Lumpism with painterly skill!
I feel as though I'm witnessing a great gathering. So many are coming together from far and wide to jointly embrace their lumpistic heritage. As near as I can tell so far, aside from myself, they are all females.
The ambassador finds this MOST agreeable!
Ambassador B
Posted by B Day on November 4, 2000, at 16:21:02
In reply to Re:Lumpites, One and All, posted by Greg on November 4, 2000, at 14:21:54
> To the Lumpites,
>Excuse me Greg, but I feel I should mention that "Lumpite" is currently deemed by the people to be a slang designation although it has not yet been identified with any negative connotations. The usage they've acknowledged as proper is "Lumptonian". I wanted to mention that lest some be offended.
> I just finished reading all the posts here and find myself with only one question...
>
> To be considered a lump, must one be willing to take their lumps or merely admit to being one?
>
> I think I'll return to my Haven and ponder this for awhile... :^)
>Rather than taking lumps, I tend to think of us as "lumps to be taken", but then being an ambassador I naturally avoid having opinions of my own so forget I said that.
B the Lumptonian
Posted by coral on November 4, 2000, at 16:32:40
In reply to The birth of a nation! » Noa, posted by B Day on November 4, 2000, at 16:05:29
Now, now, Mr. Ambassador,
"So many are coming together from far and wide to jointly embrace their lumpistic heritage. As near as I can tell so far, aside from myself, they are all females. The ambassador finds this MOST agreeable!"
Do I sense an impending trip to Hypomania? This supposition is based solely on your earlier stated plans for when you do visit Hypomania. < VEG > LOL
Greg raised an interesting question re: lumpism, does it mean to take one's lumps or just be a lump? I'm stumped by this lump question - does one have to have had a bump to be a lump or just feel like a stump to be a lump? We're all agreed (I think) that all lumps are in the slumps, and we know that a lump goes bump in the night. So, I'm sitting on my rump, looking around the dump, and shall climb back into my clump! This is one for the Messiah Racer to answer!
Like you, I am awed by the regal citizenry of Lumptonia and proud to be a member!
CPE (Couch Person Extraordinare)
Posted by Greg on November 4, 2000, at 16:58:13
In reply to Re:Lumpites, One and All » Greg, posted by B Day on November 4, 2000, at 16:21:02
If you have a super hero in Lumptonia, is the only way to harm him/her by using Lumtonite?
Thank you for making sure that I remain socially correct.
The Havenmaster
> > To the Lumpites,
> >
>
> Excuse me Greg, but I feel I should mention that "Lumpite" is currently deemed by the people to be a slang designation although it has not yet been identified with any negative connotations. The usage they've acknowledged as proper is "Lumptonian". I wanted to mention that lest some be offended.
>
> > I just finished reading all the posts here and find myself with only one question...
> >
> > To be considered a lump, must one be willing to take their lumps or merely admit to being one?
> >
> > I think I'll return to my Haven and ponder this for awhile... :^)
> >
>
> Rather than taking lumps, I tend to think of us as "lumps to be taken", but then being an ambassador I naturally avoid having opinions of my own so forget I said that.
>
> B the Lumptonian
Posted by Greg on November 4, 2000, at 16:59:24
In reply to Re: Request of Messiah Racer, posted by coral on November 4, 2000, at 16:32:40
Coral,
You are having too much fun!!! LOL!
> Now, now, Mr. Ambassador,
>
> "So many are coming together from far and wide to jointly embrace their lumpistic heritage. As near as I can tell so far, aside from myself, they are all females. The ambassador finds this MOST agreeable!"
>
> Do I sense an impending trip to Hypomania? This supposition is based solely on your earlier stated plans for when you do visit Hypomania. < VEG > LOL
>
> Greg raised an interesting question re: lumpism, does it mean to take one's lumps or just be a lump? I'm stumped by this lump question - does one have to have had a bump to be a lump or just feel like a stump to be a lump? We're all agreed (I think) that all lumps are in the slumps, and we know that a lump goes bump in the night. So, I'm sitting on my rump, looking around the dump, and shall climb back into my clump! This is one for the Messiah Racer to answer!
>
> Like you, I am awed by the regal citizenry of Lumptonia and proud to be a member!
>
> CPE (Couch Person Extraordinare)
Posted by coral on November 4, 2000, at 17:56:26
In reply to Re: Request of Messiah Racer » coral, posted by Greg on November 4, 2000, at 16:59:24
Dear Greg,
Oh, you are sooooo right! Truly, I have laughed out loud as Lumptonia has come to fruition and now may be in jeopardy of losing my citizenship!
Now, a confession . . . at this moment, the feline is wrapped up in my fake-fur throw with HIS head on my sacred pillow!
But, I look to our Messiah, Racer, and think of the crysallis shakin' and shimmerin' and believe that the message of hope is is the fuel for the hearts of all Lumptonians!
Soon, we may need another Couch Person Extraordinare! But, it's a biiiiiig couch!
Coral
Posted by B Day on November 4, 2000, at 20:22:51
In reply to Re:One More Question... » B Day, posted by Greg on November 4, 2000, at 16:58:13
> If you have a super hero in Lumptonia, is the only way to harm him/her by using Lumtonite?
>The Havenmaster's intellectual curiosity gives the Ambassador headaches. It makes one wonder if the Havenmaster was the recipient of the secret message contained in the strange words sent by Emmanuella!?!!
Per chance, is the Havenmaster French???
> Thank you for making sure that I remain socially correct.
>
> The Havenmaster
>You are welcome. Cloud of suspicion aside, the Havenmaster's otherwise seemingly good intentions toward the Lumptonian people is much appreciated.
At your service,
B, Lumptonian Ambassador
Posted by S. Howard on November 4, 2000, at 20:27:27
In reply to Re: Request of Messiah Racer, posted by coral on November 4, 2000, at 17:56:26
I have a few more suggestions for Lumptonia. First, the national flag should be made of flannel. It can be plaid or have penguins, whatever, as long as it's big and soft and smells like Downey.
Second, the national mascot should be Jabba the Hut. Also, the national sport should be a)operating the remote or b)sorting our medication into those little pill organizers.
I wanted to pass along a couple of survival hints to fellow Lumptonians and maybe get hints in return. If there's no other chocolate in the house, you can eat Nestle's Quik out of the can, but don't breathe in when you do.
Finally, if it's getting near time for your SO to return from work and the house looks like hell because you haven't moved all day, just start up the dryer so it appears you are at least doing laundry. This always makes me feel better.-SGH
Posted by B Day on November 4, 2000, at 21:12:19
In reply to Re: Request of Messiah Racer, posted by coral on November 4, 2000, at 16:32:40
> Now, now, Mr. Ambassador,
>
> "So many are coming together from far and wide to jointly embrace their lumpistic heritage. As near as I can tell so far, aside from myself, they are all females. The ambassador finds this MOST agreeable!"
>
> Do I sense an impending trip to Hypomania? This supposition is based solely on your earlier stated plans for when you do visit Hypomania. < VEG > LOL
>Ahh-h! I see my excellent assistant is as perceptive as ever (which sounds better than I'm as transparent to women as usual). Coincidentally, I did think of suggesting we all fly there together sometime but decided the notion a bit bold and premature (which sounds better than I didn't figure I'd get away with it). Nevertheless, I'm sure each of you could make significant contributions to my to endeavors in Hypomania and they would be MUCH appreciated by the Ambassador.
> Greg raised an interesting question re: lumpism, does it mean to take one's lumps or just be a lump? I'm stumped by this lump question - does one have to have had a bump to be a lump or just feel like a stump to be a lump? We're all agreed (I think) that all lumps are in the slumps, and we know that a lump goes bump in the night. So, I'm sitting on my rump, looking around the dump, and shall climb back into my clump! This is one for the Messiah Racer to answer!
>Yes, my head is still throbbing from the Havenmaster's philosophical inquiries. Yet, we could use such a man provided he's lumpistic of heart and not a spy or saboteur of the French.
> Like you, I am awed by the regal citizenry of Lumptonia and proud to be a member!
>
> CPE (Couch Person Extraordinare)Indeed CPE, the face of Fortune seems to be smiling on us. The hand of Destiny seems to be clearing our path. The finger of Fate, well...it's still the middle one, but two out of three ain't bad.
B
Posted by B Day on November 4, 2000, at 21:39:19
In reply to Another citizen straggles in, posted by S. Howard on November 4, 2000, at 20:27:27
> I have a few more suggestions for Lumptonia. First, the national flag should be made of flannel. It can be plaid or have penguins, whatever, as long as it's big and soft and smells like Downey.
>Another excellent suggestion!
> Second, the national mascot should be Jabba the Hut.
>...sort of a physical embodiment of the Lumptonian mind you mean, hmmmm? I was thinking of the Pope also. He wears nothin' but the finest quilts and nightcaps and he's got people carryin' him all over the place. The man's got style.
> Also, the national sport should be a)operating the remote or b)sorting our medication into those little pill organizers.
>I hope someone is writing all of this down!
> I wanted to pass along a couple of survival hints to fellow Lumptonians and maybe get hints in return. If there's no other chocolate in the house, you can eat Nestle's Quik out of the can, but don't breathe in when you do.
>You young little lumplings out there listen up! You could learn a thing or two from S here.
> Finally, if it's getting near time for your SO to return from work and the house looks like hell because you haven't moved all day, just start up the dryer so it appears you are at least doing laundry. This always makes me feel better.-SGH
>Now this is a shining example of just exactly the kind of practical, real-world tips all of us Lumptonians can use everyday.
Welcome to Lumptonia S. Howard and thank you for your input.
Ambassador B
Posted by Emmanuela on November 4, 2000, at 23:12:53
In reply to Re: Another citizen straggles in » S. Howard, posted by B Day on November 4, 2000, at 21:39:19
Mais oui, mais non? The shameful thoughts (a sign of a true Lumptonian) re: Spy was in fact a misnomer - the actual quote was given in response to a bleary, uninterested query, to wit: 'What's that?'. The answer was, and this is where the misinformation was slowly buzzed about, "S'pie", referring of course to something round with pecans and brown sugar throughout and on it. I mean, maintenant, does Emmanuela even sound like a French name? French toast does, as does fry and poodle, and even French kissing, but who can even be bothered with thinking about that, let alone actually engage one's tongue in any activity other than muttering, schlurping, or making unintelligible sounds while crying. And any rumour (note the British spelling?) that non-French Emmanuela was just this morning smiling and breathing deeply during a morning walk with a non-French dog, thinking happy, secure, sweet thoughts...may or may not, or as I'm fond of saying, mais non, be a True Rumour. And in response to the non-response of the thought-provoking sentence completion, here is a hint: One of the missing words is 'it'. Along with the triple creme brie studded with garlic, may I respectfully propose H.Dazs' 'Dulce con Leche'.
My chapeaux is off to the New Kingdom.
Posted by B Day on November 5, 2000, at 0:23:50
In reply to French Toast, coated, nay coded, posted by Emmanuela on November 4, 2000, at 23:12:53
Dearest Emmanuela,
Whatever the hell it was that you just said, it was spoken like a true Lumptonian!
Forgive me for ever letting so much as the thought of you being a French spy or disloyal to Lumptonia ever cross what's left of my, for lack of a better word, mind. I know you for the lump you are and a fine lump that is! How could I have ever doubted. You are one of us and will always have a place on my couch.
What's left of the Ambassador's fingers must go now. Peace be with you E.
Your friend and servant,
What's left of Ambassador B
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