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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by gadchik on November 19, 2013, at 12:32:17
Isnt that what is life-always in transition? I just turned 50 and it seems a slap in the face, after adjusting to dropping my son off at college...People who adapt do best at these things. I will carry on!
Posted by Toph on November 20, 2013, at 7:05:34
In reply to Continuing Life's Transitions, posted by gadchik on November 19, 2013, at 12:32:17
Dropping your son off at college seems more like one of life's accomplishments gadchick.
Posted by gadchik on November 20, 2013, at 7:42:53
In reply to Re: Continuing Life's Transitions, posted by Toph on November 20, 2013, at 7:05:34
How right u r! But I had to adapt to no longer seeing his face daily, it was like he dropped off the earth for awhile...then he came home for a visit, then another, etc. And our relationship is changing. I have to accept that, as well as the middle aged woman staring me back in the mirror! It's our lifespan,and all the things that we go thru until the end. We need to experience it all-family,aging,beginnings and endings. : )
Posted by Toph on November 20, 2013, at 8:27:30
In reply to Re: Continuing Life's Transitions » Toph, posted by gadchik on November 20, 2013, at 7:42:53
He's adapting to some huge changes himself. It sounds like he's fortunate to have a loving, sensitive and insightful Mom in case he needs to lean on you when the road gets rocky.
Posted by gadchik on November 20, 2013, at 8:55:45
In reply to Re: Continuing Life's Transitions » gadchik, posted by Toph on November 20, 2013, at 8:27:30
Thanks! And how are u feeling about ur upcoming transition?
Posted by Dinah on November 20, 2013, at 10:34:14
In reply to Continuing Life's Transitions, posted by gadchik on November 19, 2013, at 12:32:17
I never minded birthdays before 50. And I don't really mind them after. I guess we adjust. Or maybe I just don't think about it anymore, and don't look in the mirror except to make sure my hair is combed.
I've just got a little while longer with my son before he goes off to college. That will be a big one, and I can't imagine ever facing it without a lot of sorrow - no matter how proud of him I am.
Posted by Dinah on November 20, 2013, at 10:37:47
In reply to Re: Continuing Life's Transitions » Toph, posted by gadchik on November 20, 2013, at 8:55:45
Do you find yourself missing sticky little fingers and the warm weight of a sleeping child? When my son was really little, he curled his hand around my pony tail when I was carrying him. I miss that.
Posted by Poet on November 20, 2013, at 11:15:40
In reply to Continuing Life's Transitions, posted by gadchik on November 19, 2013, at 12:32:17
Hi Gadchik,
I keep my age my personal secret, a friend who is 7 years younger than I am thinks I'm her age. That middle aged woman in the mirror can't possibly be me. Plus AARP is after someone far too youthful.
Your son will be home for a visit before you know it.
Poet
Posted by gadchik on November 20, 2013, at 13:16:35
In reply to Re: Continuing Life's Transitions » gadchik, posted by Dinah on November 20, 2013, at 10:34:14
Yes,I miss it all, raising my son. After moving him into his apt at college,I had to leave abruptly.It was too difficult to say goodbye w/o sobbing,so I hugged him tightly and practically ran to the truck. I broke into crying jags down the hwy, each time, something would hit me in my chest,an emotional wallop of memories...it's very deep and profound. U will see. I received a card from him for mothers day(he never got me cards before!), and in it, he had written that I had never let him down, not once, his whole childhood. Reading that, has sustained me these many months w/o him.
Posted by gadchik on November 20, 2013, at 13:20:12
In reply to Re: Continuing Life's Transitions » gadchik, posted by Poet on November 20, 2013, at 11:15:40
Ha! I received the AARP membership packet in the mail, and promptly put it in my recycle pile. I will not join. I cant possibly be 50!! I journeyed to Target today and purchased anti wrinkle cream, just to be sure...no plastic surgery tho,yet!
My son will be visiting soon, this Friday for a week.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 20, 2013, at 15:10:30
In reply to Re: Continuing Life's Transitions » Poet, posted by gadchik on November 20, 2013, at 13:20:12
aw.
i've been feeling that i'm passing through one of life's transitions myself. 35. not entirely sure why.
i don't get asked for ID to buy booze anymore. my grey hairs are unmistakable. i'm... well, i do appreciate that i've probably got another 5 years or so... but i'm not going to have kids. at some point the decision will be taken out of my hands. i feel odd about that.
so... i'll never know the joys of dropping a kid off at college. i can't believe kids... how quickly they show time to fly. thinking of friends who have them and then before i know it their kids are 3 or 5 or thinking about college.
college kids these days... need their parents, still. perhaps they always did. i just never noticed since i'd been happily living independently since 16. need to remember most are not like me.
that is so very sweet about the card.
:)
Posted by Phillipa on November 20, 2013, at 16:13:18
In reply to Re: Continuing Life's Transitions » Poet, posted by gadchik on November 20, 2013, at 13:20:12
I've been doing the same for many years now. But for those of you wondering the magic number of feeling old for some is 60 and others 65. That was the turning point for me. As for the plastic surgery. Been there done it. I don't regret any of it as has allowed me to look the same age as husband who is 13 years younger. But also the new fillers for wrinkles soon will take the place of the knife. Also for the belly the non-surgical methods now being used. How It works no idea but evidently it does. But if loose skin then snip snip. And it's not bad. Then looking in the mirror isn't the horror it was.
After college prepare yourselves for them obtaining jobs in different states. And then they marry and reproduce and the cycle goes on. Phillipa
Posted by gadchik on November 20, 2013, at 16:21:48
In reply to Re: Continuing Life's Transitions » gadchik, posted by alexandra_k on November 20, 2013, at 15:10:30
Yes the card...it was an eye opener, because I've been so hard on myself as a parent, wanting perfection from myself, but at times feeling sooo inadequate. Maybe I wasn't 1/2 bad? If I were deciding now in this day & time, I wouldn't have a child. Too much craziness out there. And dealing with video games,sexting & Facebook! I'd go mad. But it does go by so fast. And it's a roller coaster-twisty, turny! If u come out sane, count ur blessings!!
At 35, I started to notice subtle signs of aging. U have so much freedom tho & hopefully no aches & pains yet, chronic anyway. It's a real shock when u turn 50! It's middle age, u just accept it, I suppose.
Posted by gadchik on November 20, 2013, at 16:30:16
In reply to Re: Continuing Life's Transitions » gadchik, posted by Phillipa on November 20, 2013, at 16:13:18
So u have a younger hubby too? Mine is 7 yrs younger & I don't like it one bit that I had turn 50 & he's still 40s & will be for awhile! Didn't think of how that would feel back when we were 20s. So far, I won't do plastic surgery, but I will never say never! I bought some new makeup & a warmer hair color. I will continue with exercise & my healthy eating. And I'm very excited to someday have grand kids! Yes, my son will live in another state. I will accept that along with all the other transitions that r being hurled at me right now!
Posted by baseball55 on November 20, 2013, at 18:27:39
In reply to Re: Continuing Life's Transitions » Phillipa, posted by gadchik on November 20, 2013, at 16:30:16
When my daughter went to off to college, I cried some, but I had been preparing myself over the entire year. The latest transition is that she is spending Xmas with her boyfriend's parents - first ever Xmas without her.
Posted by gadchik on November 20, 2013, at 18:50:12
In reply to Re: Continuing Life's Transitions, posted by baseball55 on November 20, 2013, at 18:27:39
That's something to think about...eventually, my son will be away from me for Xmas. He has proposed to his girlfriend. Wow, the knife keeps twisting. What r ur plans for Xmas w/o her? I will certainly be hurt when it happens to me. Part of all the stuff we sign up for when we see that + sign on the pregnancy test : |
Posted by baseball55 on November 21, 2013, at 19:55:36
In reply to Re: Continuing Life's Transitions » baseball55, posted by gadchik on November 20, 2013, at 18:50:12
A friend has invited us to spend Xmas with her family. Or we may do a "Jewish Christmas" - movie and Chinese food. Even when my daughter was young, we had no real other family, so from the time she was 9, we would spend Xmas in NYC. Lots of things are open. The theaters are open on Xmas night. We'd see a show. Hotels are cheap over the holidays.
> That's something to think about...eventually, my son will be away from me for Xmas. He has proposed to his girlfriend. Wow, the knife keeps twisting. What r ur plans for Xmas w/o her? I will certainly be hurt when it happens to me. Part of all the stuff we sign up for when we see that + sign on the pregnancy test : |
Posted by gadchik on November 22, 2013, at 12:24:08
In reply to Re: Continuing Life's Transitions, posted by baseball55 on November 21, 2013, at 19:55:36
Jewish Xmas sounds fine to me. And I'd love NYC for the holidays! Maybe we will go there if we are ever alone for Xmas. I told my husband about the Chinese food and movie for a Jewish Xmas, and he got this aha look on his face. He remembered,as a child, going to his grandparents home in Philly for Xmas. It was a tradition that they ate Chinese food and watched a movie. They are Jewish, and I guess he was never told that it was a Jewish Xmas! So now, he knows. Thanks!
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