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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by winsome on September 20, 2013, at 9:40:26
This is a follow up to Need Unbiased Opinion. Thanks to all the people who wrote and helped me with my issue about therapy. They all helped me get to a better place.
I had my last session with my therapist (last in his current practice but not my last forever). I told him that he often will make a comment that I just thought of. He said that indicated a deep attachment. I have established a deep attachment. Given that, is it possible that he also has an attachment? Can only one person in a relationship that is ongoing have attachment? What does the other person have for the attache?
I ask because I know my former therapist was attached to me and I was to her. So, I know it could be.He would never say that as he may think it means more than professional attachment. And, he is seeing only me for therapy from his current(ending) practice. What do you think? winsome
Posted by alexandra_k on September 20, 2013, at 23:32:08
In reply to Question about attatchment in therapy, posted by winsome on September 20, 2013, at 9:40:26
What do you mean by attachment?
How do you know that you are attached to him? What sorts of things do you take to indicate that you are?
What sorts of things are you thinking of with respect to him being attached to you?
Posted by baseball55 on September 21, 2013, at 0:38:05
In reply to Re: Question about attatchment in therapy » winsome, posted by alexandra_k on September 20, 2013, at 23:32:08
The idea that he feels attached to you as you do to him is unrealistic, He has a life -- family, friends, etc -- that fills his free time. This is not to say that he doesn't care about you. Or even love you. My t once said that he probably spends more time i-with me (an hour a week) than He does with most friends. But I am not his friend or child or lover or wife. He means a lot more to me than I do to him. Our relationship is bounded by the walls of his office.
That's the nature of therapy. BE happy he is willing to continue with him. Hw cares about you and worries over you. You can't really ask or expect much more.
Posted by Lola1969 on September 24, 2013, at 11:07:10
In reply to Re: Question about attatchment in therapy, posted by baseball55 on September 21, 2013, at 0:38:05
> The idea that he feels attached to you as you do to him is unrealistic, He has a life -- family, friends, etc -- that fills his free time. This is not to say that he doesn't care about you. Or even love you. My t once said that he probably spends more time i-with me (an hour a week) than He does with most friends. But I am not his friend or child or lover or wife. He means a lot more to me than I do to him. Our relationship is bounded by the walls of his office.
>
> That's the nature of therapy. BE happy he is willing to continue with him. Hw cares about you and worries over you. You can't really ask or expect much more.I have to agree completely with here. I feel an extremely strong attachment (for me also attraction) to my psychiatrist. For the longest time I wondered if he felt the same and thought about me outside the office, etc. After being accepted into a Masters program for psychology, I finally get it. It's not that they don't care for their clients, if they are human of course they do. But it's just not possible to care on the same level that we do for them. I think it can be similar to the way a student feels for a beloved teacher, albiet more intense. But the attachment can't be on the same level as the client, it's just not realistic. They have many clients, but we only have one T or PDoc. They wouldn't function very well or be very good at their job if they couldn't keep the caring within boundaries (and it must take lots of practice and self control). But I think the best and most effective T's keep the relationship and attachment in the office as best they can.
Posted by winsome on September 24, 2013, at 14:52:06
In reply to Re: Question about attatchment in therapy, posted by Lola1969 on September 24, 2013, at 11:07:35
thanks so much for your response. (and the same to previous poster). I also agree! Maybe it's the work "attachment." Our relationship is certainly well within boundaries. I would be so scared if it wasn't. I know if he has an attachment it is not the same as mine toward him. I can send some URLs about attachment if you want. I was curious if attachment works just one way. I don't think it does. I feel really secure in the relationship but always wonder what it means to the therapist. And, I will never know. But, I think some attachment must occur. Thanks! winsome
Posted by Lola1969 on September 24, 2013, at 15:04:29
In reply to Re: Question about attatchment in therapy » Lola1969, posted by winsome on September 24, 2013, at 14:52:06
Yes please send me some links - I'd love to read more! I wonder if those in the field really get attachment. I think it's really hard to understand fully unless you've experienced it.
This is the end of the thread.
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