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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on November 20, 2012, at 13:58:11
My therapist had to go down to his car, and went to the elevators with me. At one time that would have really bothered me, because in that room he is My Therapist, but out of that room he is Not My Therapist.
But this time, not only did it not bother me, but I managed to make small talk.
Growth happens whether or not we like it.
Posted by baseball55 on November 20, 2012, at 19:20:10
In reply to Elevator progress, posted by Dinah on November 20, 2012, at 13:58:11
Once I was walking from the train and met my p-doc (therapist) rounding the hedge from his office. He was walking several blocks to the same commercial area where I was going. I used to have constant fantasies about walking along talking to him. But the reality made me nervous. We walked along together, making pleasant small talk and the whole time I wanted to cross the street.
When I said something to him about it later (I had been thinking about it constantly all week), he just said, "well these things are always awkward." End of conversation.
Posted by Dinah on November 20, 2012, at 20:55:15
In reply to Re: Elevator progress, posted by baseball55 on November 20, 2012, at 19:20:10
It's strange how uncomfortable it can be. I suspect the lack of discomfort I felt this time has to do with the lower degree of energy in the relationship, and I'm actually not sure it's a good thing. Maybe instead of being My Therapist and Not My Therapist, he's just my therapist.
Posted by 10derheart on November 21, 2012, at 0:32:22
In reply to Re: Elevator progress » baseball55, posted by Dinah on November 20, 2012, at 20:55:15
hmmm...but if he is now not Not Your Therapist in the elevator, I wonder *who* he is then?
Maybe just....blah?
I remember once about.....6 years back....so I was back in the Midwest seeing my used-to-be-beloved-but-now-Never-to-Be-Spoken-of-Jerk+Idiot therapist...and I locked myself out of my truck after a session.
Then he came out to leave for lunch and asked me a couple times if I wanted a ride to get my other set of keys from my daughter. Luckily, I could truthfully say I had a friend already on the way....but ewwwwww, I couldn't imagine the weird intimacy of riding in a car with him driving. Think of the unique smells insides of cars have sometimes, the critique of his driving (in my head), the weird small talk...just the physical part of sitting beside him instead of across from him.
It would have been discussed for weeks I'm sure. But, no way.
Posted by 10derheart on November 21, 2012, at 0:35:43
In reply to Elevator progress, posted by Dinah on November 20, 2012, at 13:58:11
And an elevator really can be so intimate, too, just like a car. Trapped in a box, moving, no safe way out or way to get farther apart.
No. < shudder>
You have changed. I don't know a damn thing about what progress is or isn't any more, so I won't even bother with that word.
Posted by 10derheart on November 21, 2012, at 0:39:28
In reply to Re: Elevator progress, posted by baseball55 on November 20, 2012, at 19:20:10
Yeah, I used to daydream that sitting - not close but at a good, safe distance, on a park bench just chatting with mine about whatever would be so comforting.
But I doubt it. I saw him when I visited his church years back and that was weird enough. They just have to stay in the office, really.
Your pdoc is quite matter of fact about many things, which I think from your posts over time you appreciate about him, really :-)
Posted by Phillipa on November 21, 2012, at 9:08:13
In reply to Re: Elevator progress » baseball55, posted by 10derheart on November 21, 2012, at 0:39:28
Maybe because I worked in a medical setting before I just don't see either a pdoc or therapist as any different than me. I have seen and talked to the former therapist I had here is various stores and out and about. I'm the one that initiates the conversation. If anything she's the one that looks uncomforatable. Rule is let the patient acknowledge first and if the patient doesn't doc ignore patient for confidentiality. I just feel they are just people like me. Phillipa
Posted by baseball55 on November 21, 2012, at 19:18:01
In reply to Re: Elevator progress » baseball55, posted by 10derheart on November 21, 2012, at 0:39:28
> Your pdoc is quite matter of fact about many things, which I think from your posts over time you appreciate about him, really :-)
He is. One of the first things he told me, when we started, was that he was very straightforward. And he is, has always been. I've told friends and even my DBT therapist things he's said and they all say -- wow! He is so straightforward!I like it about him. It forces me to be straight forward myself. Once, when I denied, then admitted using drugs, a few weeks after I started seeing him (I went to him because I was addicted and then became depressed once I stopped), he just said, if you're not being honest with me, you're not being honest with yourself. I found that very helpful. I went home and flushed the rest of the drugs down the toilet.
Posted by Dinah on November 24, 2012, at 20:35:16
In reply to Re: Elevator progress » Dinah, posted by 10derheart on November 21, 2012, at 0:32:22
I think some therapists are more aware of the issue than others. My therapist doesn't work with transference as much as some, and in some ways I have to let him know how I feel about things.
I'm thinking the difference may be the difference in the way you think of a parent as a child and the way you grow to see them, not the great and powerful Oz at all. I don't like the change.
I wonder if a full awareness on the part of your Therapist of the power a therapist has over a client would have helped your relationship turn out differently. I wish you had had a chance to view his as a therapist instead.
Posted by Dinah on November 24, 2012, at 20:57:47
In reply to Re: Elevator progress, posted by Phillipa on November 21, 2012, at 9:08:13
It's funny, Phillipa. It's not really that we don't see them as people just like us. I was always aware of my therapist as a person with his own struggles and strengths. No different than I was really. Maybe different strengths and weaknesses.
It's not a question of who they are. It's a question of what the relationship is. I always used a quote from Harry Potter to describe it.
"A jet of green light issued from Voldemorts wand just as a jet of red light blasted from Harrys they met in midair and suddenly Harrys wand was vibrating as though an electric charge were surging through it; his hand seized up around it; he couldnt have released it if hed wanted to and a narrow beam of light connected the two wands, neither red nor green, but bright, deep gold."
"The golden thread connecting Harry and Voldemort splintered; though the wands remained connected, a thousand more beams arced high over Harry and Voldemort, crisscrossing all around them, until they were enclosed in a golden, dome-shaped web, a cage of light..."
There is a power in the space between and around a client and a therapist in some types of therapeutic relationships. Their energies and our energies meet, and create something unique.
Posted by Dinah on November 24, 2012, at 21:00:06
In reply to Re: Elevator progress, posted by baseball55 on November 21, 2012, at 19:18:01
> ...he just said, if you're not being honest with me, you're not being honest with yourself.
That's so true! I may refuse to answer him, but I try very hard not to lie.
This is the end of the thread.
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