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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Twinleaf on November 23, 2012, at 11:46:51
My analyst thinks that all of the relationships which we have are inevitably colored to some extent by projective identification. By this, he means that, as relationships become intense, they begin to include unconscious elements from our past relationships -almost always those from our parents. He thinks that marriage, in particular, tends to become burdened by this, if one has had stressful or unsatisfying relationships with one's parents as children. But he also thinks that all important relationships are affected to some extent, including those with friends and children, and, of course, therapists.
He feels that a lot of the important work of therapy involves grieving for the relationships we needed but did not have in our childhoods, and thus moving beyond them into healthier and more satisfying relationships as adults. He feels that one does this first with a therapist, and then later more generally in one's own life.
From my own experience, I feel that this is very, very true. I would love to know what others think.
Posted by baseball55 on November 23, 2012, at 19:14:08
In reply to What do you think?, posted by Twinleaf on November 23, 2012, at 11:46:51
I would say my p-doc thinks the same way. In my case though, I already had a semi-good marriage and a very warm, close and loving relationship with my daughter. But my deeper issues were starting to negatively impact those relationships and I had no other relatioships -- no friends, no ties to siblings. When I started therapy, my p-doc talked about people needing a "corrective emotional experience." He said I had already had this, to some degree with my husband and daughter but that others without close relationships would need to experience that with him.
I think most therapists today subscribe to the idea that therapy is a corrective emotional experience, whereby the therapist becomes a "good-enough parent" for people whose own parents were not good enough.
Posted by Dinah on November 24, 2012, at 21:04:15
In reply to What do you think?, posted by Twinleaf on November 23, 2012, at 11:46:51
My therapist wouldn't talk in those terms, because it's not his orientation. But I think I've experienced it.
Although sometimes it's more a question of embracing the reality of the limitations of him, and of our relationship. But maybe that's part of the "good enough". Not so much as we hopefully dream, but more than we fearfully anticipate.
Posted by tetrix on December 24, 2012, at 20:16:16
In reply to What do you think?, posted by Twinleaf on November 23, 2012, at 11:46:51
I dont know, and then again my therapist after 2 years of emotional torture told me to come back to her when I learn how to handle attachment. Still not sure what that means, or how ethical it was. If anything, theaputic relationship was the worst I had experienced.
This is the end of the thread.
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