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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by mmealltalk on October 31, 2011, at 20:20:27
For a million reasons my therapist was forced to move her office. Prior she had a home office which she decorated and really made comfortable and inviting. I knew where everything was and depended on the consistency. I've noticed every minute change there and had difficulty handling that. Now she moved her practice to this small room with a couch and a chair that feel like they are on top of each other. As she shares the office with other T on different days, there are different licenses all over with unfamiliar names. There isn't even a desk, no room for it, just this shelf thing with books that she doesn't even believe in as they are more behavioral and she is psychoanalytic to an extreme (but that's another issue) She knows i am struggling dealing with this and she tells me that maybe when her name is on the door or with time i will feel better. (I couldn't care less about her name on the door) Nothing in this office belongs to her and i keep wondering, whose therapist does this office belong to. I know the environment shouldn't be the biggest deal but it bothers me so, so much. I have a million other issues to deal with and this is taking over! Any suggestion on how to refocus and not care as much about the physical environment?
Mel
Posted by annierose on October 31, 2011, at 21:24:08
In reply to T new office is small, impersonal + annoying, posted by mmealltalk on October 31, 2011, at 20:20:27
The environment is critical. I know I need a place to feel safe, warm and cared about. I disagree with your therapist that a name plaque will equate "home". I hope in time she makes the new office feel more like home for her sake and yours.
My t moved to a new office this April. And for me, it wasn't a difficult transition as both offices were very pleasant and inviting. But I do prefer the newer office ... it feels a little more "open" on the one hand, and cozier on the other. Sorry to hear your t's move went in a bad direction.
Posted by emmanuel98 on November 1, 2011, at 19:20:29
In reply to Re: T new office is small, impersonal + annoying » mmealltalk, posted by annierose on October 31, 2011, at 21:24:08
My p-doc just had his office painted. He's been there 25 years and the paint, rug and furniture have been there that long too. He shares it with another therapist (he's only there twice a week) and all the prints on the wall are non-descript. There is no real sense of him from the office, unlike my DBT therapist, whose office feels like her. But I don't mind this. He animates the office. It is seeing him, not the office, that makes me feel connected and engaged.
Posted by mmealltalk on November 1, 2011, at 20:32:53
In reply to Re: T new office is small, impersonal + annoying, posted by emmanuel98 on November 1, 2011, at 19:20:29
I absolutely wish that i could see this office issue like you do. I recognize that it is her I want to be meeting with, not the office she meets me in, but i am so thrown off by the office that it doesn't feel like i am meeting with her in a way. I don't know how to explain it, but i really hope the day comes that i see the office as less significant. Its hard to imagine feeling that way though. Just as an example of what gets me so disturbed there: As i was leaving the office I recognized one of the books on the shelf as one i had read. It is a fiction book about various psychotherapy sessions with different types of patients. I pointed out the book and told her what it was about, adding, it seems odd that a therapists office would have a fictitious depiction of therapy, as one would expect their knowledge to come from training. She knows i know this isn't her book nor cup of tea, but it just rubs me the wrong way.
Mel
Posted by pegasus on November 2, 2011, at 8:44:13
In reply to Re: T new office is small, impersonal + annoying » emmanuel98, posted by mmealltalk on November 1, 2011, at 20:32:53
Hi Mel. I totally hear you on this issue. When I was looking for Ts I found myself hugely affected by their offices. There was one T who was really not at all a good fit, who I actually considered working with anyway because I loved his office so much. Another T I rather liked, but his office was a disaster and there was no way I could do therapy there. Probably the best of the lot had an office that looked like a rent-an-office, and I just couldn't choose him. I'm happy with my current T, who has a comfortable office. But sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't have gone with rent-an-office guy, who might have bit a bit more personally, if not environmentally, warm. But then, what about how cold his office felt?
I think it's OK that these things matter to some of us. It's like people who can't stand to wear clothes that are at all scratchy (like me). If it bothers you, then it bothers you. It's a valid part of your experience.
I'm really sorry that your T wasn't able to move to an office that felt more like her style, and better for you. :(
- Peg
Posted by Raisinb on November 5, 2011, at 11:08:12
In reply to T new office is small, impersonal + annoying, posted by mmealltalk on October 31, 2011, at 20:20:27
A few years ago, my former therapist moved her office. It was an intense relationship and the move was traumatic to me. She did small things, like mark the chair I usually sat in and put "my chair" in a similar place in the new office.
These little things helped but really it was only time that did it. The place we meet them in is saturated with all the emotions of the relationship. You have to fill the new place with the relationship.
It is disruptive to have other therapists' stuff in there, but my guess is that it will fade into the background for you as you focus in on the work youre doing together.
Posted by Dinah on November 5, 2011, at 12:07:13
In reply to T new office is small, impersonal + annoying, posted by mmealltalk on October 31, 2011, at 20:20:27
I think Raisinb's experience is similar to mine. I used to love my therapist's office with its poured glass windows and pink walls. It used to glow. I often told him I didn't need him, and that he could rent the room to me.
When he left that office and moved into a shiny new office in a shiny building, and decorated with the sharp angles of art deco, it was very distressing to me. I still have no liking for this office. And we had to see each other at all sorts of less than ideal conditions over the years.
I think it did force me to focus on him and on the space between us, and less on the surroundings. It did help me to become even more aware of the energy in the room, and sensitive to the smallest shifts in it. In the old room I had a lot of places to look, and a lot of things I enjoyed looking at. Now, any room is the therapy room if he's there and I'm there, and if the chairs are roughly the right space apart.
I'm not sure that's altogether a bad thing. Though I'd have far rather missed the gains and kept that first office. I love poured glass windows. They make beautiful sunlight.
This is the end of the thread.
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