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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by 64bowtie on February 2, 2011, at 5:32:34
Today, when you look yourself in the mirror, do you see yourself as ENOUGH??? I discovered in 1988 that hitting bottom had an essential twin... Ever since then, I've been perfecting how to say it... I sensed my personal success depended on both of the twins...
In REHAB/RECOVERY, we all are suffering from the disillusionment of sensing we are not "ENOUGH"; a subtle sense of dread... How you sense your feelings of "ENOUGH" is obviously your business...
That said, my caveat is that once we "hit bottom", our job has just begun... If we lift ourselves up and brush ourselves off, but still retain the murky self-image of not feeling like being "ENOUGH" for our personal lives, there's a possibility of another "bottom" in our future...
Not being ENOUGH in our own life sets us up for internal conflictedness, adding to chaos in our image of self; our self-image
We cant imagine how much stress, strain and strife our internal conflicts have caused us up to this point in our lives"ENOUGH" is nobodies "BUZZ WORD", its a state of mind; a worthwhile state of mind... Its a state of mind that makes the statement about our self-image finally being whole... This is because, when we feel "ENOUGH", the person talking to us in our mirror is talking with one voice and we recognize it as our own
We can now be one with ourselves and speak with one voice, ours...
Rod
Posted by Dinah on February 2, 2011, at 20:08:18
In reply to Being 'ENOUGH', posted by 64bowtie on February 2, 2011, at 5:32:34
Enough? Not enough? Who's to judge.
What is, is. I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam.
It's enough because it *is*. No point worrying about what *isn't*.
Which doesn't mean that I can't think to make better choices. I can definitely make better choices.
Hey, Rod. How's your Dad? More important, how are you?
Posted by obsidian on February 3, 2011, at 21:33:29
In reply to Being 'ENOUGH', posted by 64bowtie on February 2, 2011, at 5:32:34
wow, do I relate to that
Posted by 64Bowtie on February 13, 2011, at 5:12:58
In reply to Re: Being 'ENOUGH' » 64bowtie, posted by Dinah on February 2, 2011, at 20:08:18
Dear » ((( Dinah ))) »
I choose to comment on your points of interest...
> Enough? Not enough? Who's to judge.
<<< No one else notices if we don't feel whole, completely competent, enough...
> What is, is. I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam.
<<< Never has happened yet... Your thousands of posts all/each have a difference to them... You go to therapy as some sort of insurance that you won't have to be this "you" for the rest of your life... For my money, I like this "you", I liked the old you I met 8 years ago, and I'm certain I'll like the "you" that you become 10 years from now... These are different "you-s"...> It's enough because it *is*. No point worrying about what *isn't*.
<<<I really have snagged a loose cord in your giddy-yap... You never have come out swinging like this before... Over a 1 year period, I helped interview 720 new arrivals to a residential rehab known as the Salvation Army Adult Rehab Center... The one universal trait that each person arrived with is this feeling of inconsolable dread, that is shame based and leaves them tarnished to a toxic level... Alcohol, drugs, gambling, eating, and sex, seem to diminish the memory of the shame; at least for the moment... When interviewed on exit from this 6 month program, over 300 "beneficiaries" made claim to noticing the difference, and freely linked their new found happiness and enthusiasm to this new and different way of looking forward for themselves... They declared themselves feeling "ENOUGH" for the first time in their lives... I make no statement relative to your recovery, nor to anyone else here at "Babble", only to those I personally was involved with interviewing; there is a record of our process... Our success with the 720 we interviewed was 83% remaining DRY, CLEAN and SOBER, for a period of 2 years after completing the program; 5 out of 6 stayed away from their primary addiction for at least the 2 years we kept records for... AA is 1 out of 7 and "Betty Ford" near Palm Springs is 1 in 20, and they use AA traditions and the "Big Book" exclusively... Our group formed a goal to overcome the dread and become "ENOUGH", as well as SOBER...> Which doesn't mean that I can't think to make better choices. I can definitely make better choices.
<<< You chose to accept me here at "Babble", and I am eternally grateful...> Hey, Rod. How's your Dad? More important, how are you?
<<< My Dad smoked for 49 years, till age 64, he's now 90... He has developed a nagging cough over the last 8 months... I am getting tests done on him to reduce the likely-hood of lung cancer... I have been messing with vitamin dosage and have started walking 10,000 paces on my $5.00 Wal-Mart pedometer... 10,000 paces can take a couple of hours, whereas jogging 4 miles a day used to take me only 40 to 50 minutes... I ruminate the whole time, "sort-of" multitasking my ongoing struggles... I seem to plan much better when I can walk/run and ruminate...
NEWS: I have a long time friend who is a Senior Athlete (Basketball) who has been working the scoring processes at the Summer Olympics from 1984 onward, but has turned 83 now, and for health reasons, will not be going to London... I have asked him to suggest me in his stead... I'll keep y'alls posted on that progress... My (US NAVY) Submarine was stationed in the Holy Loch in Scotland... It'd be a "hoot" to take a train ride mini-vacation up there again after all these years...AND, by all means my dear »(((Dinah)))», how are you and how is your family these days???
Posted by Dinah on February 13, 2011, at 8:12:28
In reply to » ((( Dinah ))) » Being 'ENOUGH', posted by 64Bowtie on February 13, 2011, at 5:12:58
I think perhaps I didn't convey my message well.
You were talking about feeling like you were enough. I was talking about accepting what *is*, which means not ruminating over not being enough. I think that what we were each saying wasn't in any real opposition. Not that I'm always as good at radical acceptance in practice, but I'm daily getting better at it.
That's such exciting news! And better yet you're doing what's healthy for you.
My family and I are doing well enough. My son is a delightful young man. I'm so proud of him.
Posted by 64Bowtie on February 16, 2011, at 4:22:50
In reply to Re: Enough » 64Bowtie, posted by Dinah on February 13, 2011, at 8:12:28
You're right about 1 thing, "Don't be ruminating on changing your life, just do it"...
Mostly I'm pointing out that addiction is absent "enough"... Who else have you heard say this??? I'm not the "Lone Ranger" but its still not a common topic... I don't make much noise about "process VS. event" but discovery of the impact of the sense of dread that you can never overcome the cravings because you have been stricken by the original sin of not being smart enough or strong enough to find your way to being DRY, CLEAN AND SOBER... When you do, its almost a blessed "event" in your life... If you have the kernel of "ENOUGH-NESS" in your recovery and in your life, happiness and freedom are no longer a mystery, to ruminate about... This is my promise in my practice as a "Quality Of Life" Coach...
Rod
Posted by gardenergirl on February 16, 2011, at 10:16:05
In reply to Being 'ENOUGH', posted by 64bowtie on February 2, 2011, at 5:32:34
I've been thinking about this, and it occurs to me that I'm striving for not "I am enough", but rather just "I am." I'm finding contentment in just *being* and not putting any kind of label or qualifier on it. Not that "enough" is a bad qualifier, just that I'm really trying, for myself, not to label, qualify, measure, quantify, etc. at all.
Good to see you, Rod.
gg
Posted by Dinah on February 16, 2011, at 11:16:12
In reply to (((Dinah))) About Enough, posted by 64Bowtie on February 16, 2011, at 4:22:50
I think we're possibly talking at cross purposes. gg said what I was trying to say far better than I managed.
I'm not sure I ever have or ever would say "Just do it." It's just not me at all. :)
I certainly have no quarrel with anything you were saying. Just musing. I am sorry if my musings seemed combative to you. They weren't intended that way.
Posted by annierose on February 16, 2011, at 18:39:37
In reply to Re: Being 'ENOUGH' » 64bowtie, posted by gardenergirl on February 16, 2011, at 10:16:05
Sounds like you are still enjoying your yoga time. That's why I like yoga so much, it's so accepting of the person you are at this very moment ... or rather teaches you to be accepting.
Posted by 64Bowtie on February 27, 2011, at 5:06:07
In reply to Re: Being 'ENOUGH' » 64bowtie, posted by gardenergirl on February 16, 2011, at 10:16:05
I sense a threshold in development with acquiring the notion of being enough to perform as a "grown up" that is significant to most everyone's maturation process... For the ones that feel nothing significant to being enough, they are not being subjected to incessant testing of the will, like the rest of us... What comes to mind is the life of the "Lay Brothers" assigned to the Franciscan Seminary I attended in the early 60's... Between duties and ritual, responsibility was the scarcity commodity, whereas time and income are scarce commodities we are held responsible for... Imagine having next to no responsibilities, not even health care, how different your life might be measured... Much less stress, don't you think??? If they are faithful to their duties and rituals, what is left over to cause stress, strain and strife??? Mmmmmmmmmmmm, I never occasioned the thought that a phlegmatic existence was in any way attractive... As a sanguine-choleric, I don't see myself turning over that new leaf very soooon...
Posted by 64Bowtie on February 27, 2011, at 5:09:40
In reply to Re: (((Dinah))) About Enough » 64Bowtie, posted by Dinah on February 16, 2011, at 11:16:12
You becoming combative??? Huh??? That would be rare and frightening............lol...
Rod
This is the end of the thread.
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