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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Roslynn on April 1, 2010, at 19:10:01
Hi everyone...
Strange question here...how do you terminate therapy politely, and without the therapist insisting on one of those final "closure" sessions?
I no longer feel my therapist is a good fit for me, but I don't want her to start psychoanalyzing my reasons for terminating therapy.
My most recent session, she tried some sort of tough-love approach and afterward I felt very beaten up and worthless. I no longer want to pay her for this type of treatment.
Thanks for any help!
Roslynn
Posted by rnny on April 1, 2010, at 20:48:34
In reply to How to terminate therapy?, posted by Roslynn on April 1, 2010, at 19:10:01
Do like I did while I was shopping around for a therapist and started to see one for a brief time. I decided it was not a good match. She too had a kind of tough love approach but whatever it was, she did not radiate caring and that was not working. I called the switchboard and said I had to cancel my next upcoming appointment but I would call back to reschedule and I simply never called back!
Posted by emmanuel98 on April 1, 2010, at 20:50:51
In reply to How to terminate therapy?, posted by Roslynn on April 1, 2010, at 19:10:01
You could just not make another appointment and stop coming. How long have you been seeing her? It seems like the longer you've been together, the more obligation you have to try and end it honestly.
Posted by Roslynn on April 2, 2010, at 9:39:06
In reply to Re: How to terminate therapy?, posted by emmanuel98 on April 1, 2010, at 20:50:51
Hi Emmanuel,
Well, I've been seeing her been several months. This insulting behavior from her happened once before and I tried to overlook it. This time, I could not. I honestly believe she has personal issues/demons she is dealing with. That's fine, but if I feel worse after my session, that's no good. I am paying for this.
I will contact her and let her know about terminating, but my fear is that she will turn it around on me and say I am running away from my problems. But in actuality I will be looking for another therapist.
I don't know exactly what to say to her as I feel she is somewhat fragile. Last session she looked like she was about to blow up and was popping candies in her mouth about one every two seconds.
Thank you for any help!
Roslynn
> You could just not make another appointment and stop coming. How long have you been seeing her? It seems like the longer you've been together, the more obligation you have to try and end it honestly.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 2, 2010, at 10:40:36
In reply to Re: How to terminate therapy? » emmanuel98, posted by Roslynn on April 2, 2010, at 9:39:06
How about: I don't think we are a good "fit" and I must say goodbye...don't let her drag you into a conversation. Simply.......if she accuses you , etc.....I would say, well, those are YOUR feelings and not accurate, but I must do what is best for me. later on, I would write a letter and tell her the truth. She needs to know that.
That is what I....would do.
It is scary, we put our lives, psyches in their hands, and when someone isn't professional, empathic, etc.....it is the client who gets hurt.
Posted by Roslynn on April 2, 2010, at 15:08:57
In reply to Re: How to terminate therapy? » Roslynn, posted by sassyfrancesca on April 2, 2010, at 10:40:36
Hi,
Thank you. I like the way you worded this. I guess I am worried that she will contact a relative of mine who also knows her (used to be a client as well) and say she is "concerned" about my terminating therapy. Then this relative will have a fit that I am terminating therapy. This would be a breach of confidentiality, though, right?
In addition the therapist was very helpful in getting some paperwork completed for me. I feel guilty, and I'm worried I might need her again in a similar capacity. But I cannot go back for another session with the way she made me feel--small and worthless.
Roslynn
> How about: I don't think we are a good "fit" and I must say goodbye...don't let her drag you into a conversation. Simply.......if she accuses you , etc.....I would say, well, those are YOUR feelings and not accurate, but I must do what is best for me. later on, I would write a letter and tell her the truth. She needs to know that.
>
> That is what I....would do.
>
> It is scary, we put our lives, psyches in their hands, and when someone isn't professional, empathic, etc.....it is the client who gets hurt.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 2, 2010, at 15:34:24
In reply to Re: How to terminate therapy? » sassyfrancesca, posted by Roslynn on April 2, 2010, at 15:08:57
Yes, that would be a breach of confidentiality. The t isn't supposed to talk about you to ANYone....ever. Once a client, always...a client.
It is bad enough that people.....can make us feel awful, but for a therapist to make you feel that way, is simply unconsciounable...and UNprofessional....
You need a therapy who is sensitive, kind, empathic and CELEBRATES you!!
hugs
Posted by Roslynn on April 3, 2010, at 14:13:44
In reply to Re: How to terminate therapy? » Roslynn, posted by sassyfrancesca on April 2, 2010, at 15:34:24
Thank you so much for your words of support!
:)
> Yes, that would be a breach of confidentiality. The t isn't supposed to talk about you to ANYone....ever. Once a client, always...a client.
>
> It is bad enough that people.....can make us feel awful, but for a therapist to make you feel that way, is simply unconsciounable...and UNprofessional....
>
> You need a therapy who is sensitive, kind, empathic and CELEBRATES you!!
>
> hugs
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