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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by vic80 on March 5, 2010, at 14:20:20
I have had no history of any mental illness or any other major illness. I do not use any intoxicants, am a non-smoker and a vegetarian.
I have had a very stressed past 3-4 years with a lot of personal/familial and financial problems which I think brought on my sever anxiety and depression which I was diagnosed for 2 months ago.
I have been on escitalopram 10mg for over 8 weeks. It has made my dysphoric/depressive spells less.... but of late I realised I am not able to feel much emotion... like some sort of zombie state of mind
I keep trying to sing songs in my mind to avoid the blank feeling... keep talking to myself in my head...
I am not even letting my mind silent for a second for the fear of blanking out... and when I am concentrating on any physical work which does not involve reading or talking... i start staring into blankness... and immidiately after that I panic badly...
I 'have an above average individual ability and my personality type is neurotic' according to a psych. therapist I consulted a couple of months ago.
I am very sorry for the incoherence in my question. I guess I am feeling quite stressed.
What has made me utterly distressed is that past 4-5 days I have realised/felt that I am not thinking much too. I have very few thoughts. And this scares me.I am not sure firstly if I am emotinally-numbed - I do have to say that I am not reactive - I do not light up at seeing people I know... I feel apathetic and disinterested in most things.... not that I do not enjoy at ALL if I participate..
Before medication I recall being quite anxious and had spells of severe depression. But this current state of being numb is very very difficult to take. It is making me further depressed in a way.
I have read a lot about SSRI's emotional-numbing effect, but is thought-numbing too a side-effect?Could it be that because for the past 3 months or so I have been caught inside my mind, constantly watching myself and have been disconnected fromt the outside world has made me suddenly realise as though I have nothing to think..
I also feel a bit unreal at times.... especially in eveningscould it be that I am trying to run away from my own negative thoughts that keep going on in my subconscious... sometimes when I feel blank i feel as though theres another thought processin my deep mind which I am not aware of....
I have some very nihilistic thoughts in mind once in a while which scare me a lot...
I am very concerned... I am not sure if this thought-numbing/ lack of thoughts thing has been going on through the entire time of the medication, or I suddenly felt it a couple of days ago.
Its definitely making life difficult beyond words.
I am infact to the extent of feeling stupid distressed. I keep wondering "how I used to think", "what I used to think" etc.... it has made my situation quite horrible.I also feel that i react to strong emotional situations - with a knot in my throat and feel overwhelmed - anxious and feel as though I am swooning.
I have been a very creative person, very well read, philosophical and interested in arts... my intellectual abilities too seem rather dulled..
I guess my question is not just to do with the medication, but to know how I should handle the obviously difficult situation.
Is this some sort of a web I have cuaght myself in... where outside my head nothing seems to exist? Is it a part of depression (I have never ever felt like this before)...
My psych. doc whom I met today was not very empathetic and was rather dismissive of my concerns as my imaginings... and my financial condition / place of stay doesnt permit me to have many options..."
Posted by rnny on March 5, 2010, at 15:35:10
In reply to Feeling blank, less thoughts, mind-web... HELP, posted by vic80 on March 5, 2010, at 14:20:20
I don't have alot of "friends", personal friends. But there are alot of things for me to do if I want to get out. I may not be "friends" with the people there but there are public activities such as groups that meet that are about things that are of interest to me. Do you spend alot of time alone? I have spend tons of time alone, not talking to or relating to anyone...and have felt some of the things you describe. Are you isolating yourself from other people, no matter who they are?
Posted by Dinah on March 6, 2010, at 11:13:45
In reply to Feeling blank, less thoughts, mind-web... HELP, posted by vic80 on March 5, 2010, at 14:20:20
I'm sorry your psychiatrist wasn't more responsive. It seems to me that since this came up since you started medications, your psychiatrist should be more open to hearing about it and seeking solutions.
There are no other psychiatrists you can see?
Posted by Outai on October 12, 2010, at 20:29:14
In reply to Feeling blank, less thoughts, mind-web... HELP, posted by vic80 on March 5, 2010, at 14:20:20
Aw.. I know exactly what you are feeling, I have the same exact symptoms, and it's just out right terrible.I've started to try and get help from doctors, and they really do never seem to actually listen... But, this was posted quiet awhile ago, so I hope that you have found something to help you manage and get through all of this!
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