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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on February 2, 2010, at 0:48:30
She tells me no one will see me forever and I got the feeling that she only sees me as long as I am going to school.
I'm doing pretty badly right now. I haven't been able to go to class.
I'm letting everyone down. My family lies when people ask about what I do.
I wish I could live in an alternate reality.
I haven't been to class at all. I am a recluse. I don't go outside.
Gosh, this is making me sad. I wish I would just die of natural causes but I'm too healthy.
Posted by rnny on February 2, 2010, at 13:24:51
In reply to I'm afraid my pdoc will terminate me, posted by Deneb on February 2, 2010, at 0:48:30
I have felt as you feel and sometimes in the present, do feel that way. Like I could just die of natural causes! What you are describing though is severe depression. Does your doctor know you are feeling this way, having these thoughts? What has been done in the past to help you when you feel this way or have these thoughts? I used to think that it was just "me" when I became severely depressed and was not something that could be helped. However now I have learned that when I am thinking really bad thoughts about myself and even wishing I were dead, that is not "just me", it is the depression talking. Do you trust your pdoc enough to ask for help right now? For your immediate "symptoms"?
Posted by annierose on February 2, 2010, at 20:42:50
In reply to I'm afraid my pdoc will terminate me, posted by Deneb on February 2, 2010, at 0:48:30
sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch. you have been there before so try to remember how it feels to come out on the other side. this intense feeling will pass.
your pdoc will not terminate you. maybe there is a small part of you that worries if you feel better she will no longer want to work with you. and that is not true. sometimes the hardest work happens when you are feeling your best - then your brain is able to process the hardest stuff.
inactivity leads to more inactivity ... force yourself to move your body. i know when i am feeling down and sinking, the best thing i can do for myself is to exercise. it's amazing the strength it gives me.
Posted by Deneb on February 3, 2010, at 20:31:29
In reply to Re: I'm afraid my pdoc will terminate me, posted by rnny on February 2, 2010, at 13:24:51
I don't think I am depressed, I can still enjoy myself sometimes. I'm not always sad.
I don't know what is wrong with me. I seem to lack motivation. I think I am lazy. I'm really slacking off. I'm not going to class or studying. I don't even take a shower everyday now, or brush my teeth and wash my face. I've gotten extremely lazy.
I still have fun sometimes so it's not depression, plus I don't want to kill myself.
Pdoc thinks I need more anxiety. We have been decreasing my meds to try to up the anxiety and hopefully get me more motivated.
So far it's not working.
I doubt it's meds and I'm sure pdoc doesn't think so either. She thinks I need to get a job.
Posted by annierose on February 3, 2010, at 21:14:44
In reply to Re: I'm afraid my pdoc will terminate me » rnny, posted by Deneb on February 3, 2010, at 20:31:29
It's not laziness Deneb. Depression can look like that - lacking the motivation to take care of one's needs.
Something is getting in the way of you wanting to go to class, shower, brush your teeth, etc.
Posted by Deneb on February 4, 2010, at 7:21:30
In reply to Re: I'm afraid my pdoc will terminate me, posted by annierose on February 2, 2010, at 20:42:50
Thanks Annierose
I hope you're right. I'm thinking she might find another pdoc for me if I drop my class. I will probably need to drop my class as I have not studied or attended classes at all.
I know I should exercise, but I just end up sleeping instead. I haven't been to the Y in over a month.
It's hard for me to go outside.
This is the end of the thread.
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