Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 935546

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Would this make you feel uncomfortable? (long)

Posted by rnny on January 31, 2010, at 22:41:29

I have been looking for a T who does work in the area of trauma and PTSD which my retired T did and as you know, have met alot of T's in the process of finding one. The general majority of the people I have met with seemed to do general counseling vs. having 'alot of experience' or a 'focus' on trauma and PTSD. While speaking to a T on Thursday that I was interviewing I was telling her about my father's raging violence at home during my childhood and adolecense and she said "I have a patient who has gone through something similar to what you are describing only not as bad as yours". I was really embarrased and also worried that maybe my case was too tough for her to take on! She asked if I would sign something for her to contact my retired T. When I asked her what she wanted to talk to her about she gave a few reasons (ex: just so you can transfer from one T to another and I can find out what helps you") and then wound up saying "I don't know". Of course being paranoid like I am, I was thinking, "OMG, does she want to contact my old T to see if I am telling the truth about my father" etc. I mean after that comment, "I have a patient like you but not as bad as yours" I wasn't sure what to think. (I am going to see her again and when I do, I may bring it up but def am bringing up that she had her blackberry in her hands the entire time she was interviewing me and was looking at the blackberry screen and touching the screen, possibly texting during our interview. I was trying to demonstrate something my father had done and she was saying "uh huh" and not even looking at me but was glued to the blackberry. Not to worry because I will most def bring that up. I have no idea why I didn't have the confidence to say something right then and there.) Feedback welcome! ps She is an experienced T with good qualifications despite my honest portrayal of what took place. I was disappointed with her fascination with her blackberry even though she is an experienced T. My psychiatrist who I just see for meds suggested her and I could tell by being with her and being in her office she is no "newbie" to the profession. I am wondering what you think of that statement "but not as bad as yours" and also about her wanting to contact my old T even though it has been a year and a half! Thank you.

 

Re: Would this make you feel uncomfortable? (long)

Posted by rnny on January 31, 2010, at 22:59:51

In reply to Would this make you feel uncomfortable? (long), posted by rnny on January 31, 2010, at 22:41:29

I didn't meet with her earlier as she was "out of the country". She goes to Nepal each year. So I got to see her when I could. While we were talking she said, "I work with people who have multiple personality disorder too" and I was thinking, "OMG, did I give her the impression I have MPD." I don't have it but that statement freaked me out and I was thinking, "Maybe she wants to call my old T to see if I am lying about my diagnosis and wants to see if I have MPD". But her office is right in my psychiatrist's office so she can see his notes and see I don't have MPD. Not that there is anything wrong with anyone who has MPD but the whole thing got me all nervous. I am sorry for rambling. This has been a very difficult time for me. The same therapist on and off for 30 years and then a year and a half of hell since her retirement. (You will recall I spend a year with the T she 'hand picked' and that went no where.)

 

Re: Would this make you feel uncomfortable? (long)

Posted by Verloren on January 31, 2010, at 23:07:38

In reply to Would this make you feel uncomfortable? (long), posted by rnny on January 31, 2010, at 22:41:29


This scenario would make me uncomfortable.

First, I would probably not have said anything about the blackberry while I was there but would have been extremely offended by it. Unless she was using it to take down notes and is, for some reason, gravely opposed to the pen and pad note taking method.

Even if a T is retired they can still be contacted regarding past patients? Then what is the point of retiring? I could see if you were just switching Ts. It seems a little odd that she would want to contact your retired T and then say she doesn't know why.

I could see a T saying the "only not as bad as yours" comment. I don't think it was the best thing to say to someone in the initial interview phase. She doesn't yet know how her comments will affect you. I think the wording choice was poor judgment.

Being experienced doesn't make a good T. And I have found that colleagues are biased and do not view each other as we would as their patients. Just because she comes from a recommendation does not mean her mind is still in the game. She may be burned out. Or her "experience" may have taught her to lose interest.

You may be able to find a referral for a trauma T through your nearest psych er or intensive treatment center.

>
>"I have no idea why I didn't have the confidence to say something right then and there."

That really doesn't sound like the rnny I've seen. You just don't seem like the hesitant type. I'm getting the feeling this T resonated with you and you may be intrigued by her nature? That happens and can be as quickly as within the first few minutes. Even her office setup could have contributed. Of course I could be way off base.

-v

 

Re: Would this make you feel uncomfortable? (long)

Posted by rnny on January 31, 2010, at 23:32:11

In reply to Re: Would this make you feel uncomfortable? (long), posted by Verloren on January 31, 2010, at 23:07:38

Thank you for your input V. I truly appreciate it. ((((V))))

 

Re: Would this make you feel uncomfortable? (long)

Posted by rnny on January 31, 2010, at 23:35:51

In reply to Re: Would this make you feel uncomfortable? (long), posted by Verloren on January 31, 2010, at 23:07:38

She does resonate with me, "something" about her..and yes.even her ofice. But there is no way I am signing papers for her to contact my old T who has been retired for a year and a half. She would have to call her at home and stuff and I feel extremely uncomfortable about that. Thank you V.

 

Re: Would this make you feel uncomfortable? (long)

Posted by emmanuel98 on February 1, 2010, at 1:05:01

In reply to Re: Would this make you feel uncomfortable? (long), posted by rnny on January 31, 2010, at 23:35:51

It seemss to me perfectly natural that she would want to contact your old T to get a better sense of yoo. Also, her comment that she had seen someone else whose history was not as bad as your's seems to be meant as validating, not invalidating as you interpreted it.

The only thing that sounds wierd to me is the blackberry. A T shold be focused just on you for your hour. They should't be fooling with their phones or other devices during YOUR time.

 

Re: Would this make you feel uncomfortable? (long) » rnny

Posted by obsidian on February 1, 2010, at 1:36:57

In reply to Would this make you feel uncomfortable? (long), posted by rnny on January 31, 2010, at 22:41:29

uh, yeah...I'd be uncomfortable with that
was she high?
but seriously, kinda rude
sorry you had to experience that,
sid

 

Re: Would this make you feel uncomfortable? (long)

Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2010, at 8:00:51

In reply to Would this make you feel uncomfortable? (long), posted by rnny on January 31, 2010, at 22:41:29

The rest wouldn't bother me, but I'd hate the blackberry. My therapist knows how I feel about it, and ostentatiously turns the ringer off without looking at it if he forgets.

But he will sit after calling me back and before we start talking, and text or email. I of course never speak while someone is trying to concentrate on their texting or emailing. I'd consider it rude to interrupt something obviously more important than the session. I don't start counting session time until he puts it down.

I hate it, and that's with someone I've seen forever and care about. With a new therapist, looking at a blackberry all session would be a sign that I ought to be moving on.

 

Re: Would this make you feel uncomfortable? (long)

Posted by emilyp on February 1, 2010, at 18:33:29

In reply to Would this make you feel uncomfortable? (long), posted by rnny on January 31, 2010, at 22:41:29

Considering how long you saw the old therapist and how much difficulty you have had finding a new therapist, I would think you would want her to contact the old one. Why should you and her start from the very, very beginning when having a short conversation with the previous therapist could be very helpful. Even if you were to start from 'scratch' having a sense of who you are has to only help not hurt. And at the very least, she may learn from the old therapist that yes in fact your case is not something she handles (just as an example) and that you would be wise to seek out someone else.

I would think a doctor that did not contact previous caregivers would be not practicing the best medicine.


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