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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by healingmysoul on January 27, 2010, at 20:49:38
Hi everyone,
I am new; I have "lurked" for a few weeks, but just signed up. Been having major issues with my therapist. We know each other really well; been seeing him for two years, and he was also a teacher of mine. Really complicated!
He Dx me with C-PTSD and the past month i was in touch with family and that caused some stuff from the past to resurface, and the other day he told me it was due to my thinking. I know my thinking is messed up, due to feelings, but then he goes on about how feelings are just feelings. I have been living with these feelings for many years, and i have had the traditional CBT. I know he doesn't know what to do, and we are waiting to hear from a agency that does trauma counseling, but it ticks me off how he responds.
He contacted me today; hubby called him about how i wasn't talking and was "spacing out" but i am at the point that i don't know what to say. I emailed him after and the reply i got seemed defensive and just tired of this rollercoaster with t....
Posted by obsidian on January 27, 2010, at 20:59:44
In reply to transference and issues in therapy, posted by healingmysoul on January 27, 2010, at 20:49:38
eh....(shakes head) shouldn't they cover in T school the fact that you shouldn't say "feelings are just feelings"
as if feelings are some unnecessary biproduct of a dysfunctional mindset
some other idiot I knew used to say "feelings aren't facts" well sh*t, really?
wow, now all my problems are solved (insert sarcasm)I apologize if my crankiness is evident.
I do hope you are taking good care of yourself.
-sid
Posted by healingmysoul on January 27, 2010, at 21:02:25
In reply to Re: transference and issues in therapy » healingmysoul, posted by obsidian on January 27, 2010, at 20:59:44
OMG! so weird, can't give you the details, but let's just say i have heard him say what you just said to a bunch of students who are in training to be counselors!
feelings come and they go! grrrrrr
Posted by obsidian on January 27, 2010, at 21:21:58
In reply to Re: transference and issues in therapy, posted by healingmysoul on January 27, 2010, at 21:02:25
it just sounds so inherently invalidating.
I mean when is it "ok" to have a feeling exactly?
and which ones are acceptable as long as we're categorizing?
Posted by emmanuel98 on January 27, 2010, at 21:27:05
In reply to Re: transference and issues in therapy, posted by healingmysoul on January 27, 2010, at 21:02:25
My T would sometimes say feelings are just feelings. What he meant was I am entitled to my feelings (which I always had tried to deny and was ashamed of) and it was okay to have feelings. I also have a DBT therapist who says that, meaning that feelings pass and if we can learn to sit through them, we'll come out on the other side. Sadness passes. Anxiety passes. Anger passes. I think all T's say this. I've never seen one who didn't say it.
Posted by Verloren on January 28, 2010, at 12:39:56
In reply to transference and issues in therapy, posted by healingmysoul on January 27, 2010, at 20:49:38
Welcome to Babble healingmysoul!
I'm glad you joined. I found babble to be a haven in the storm I have been facing with my T.
In my opinion, it seems like some Ts get sort of lost in their professions after a while. They don't know what to say or do anymore to try to make progress with us and so they just end up "being there" and not really helping.
I hope you can find success with the trauma counselor. That does sound like a good idea.
I'm not sure what to make of the "feelings are just feelings" comment. What type of tone did he use? It seems like I have issue with the word just. If he'd said "feelings are feelings", I might think that wasn't so bad. But the "just" seems to undermine the feelings and reduces them somehow.
So, have you told him how his responses make you feel? Would he listen and hear you out? Definitely let him know you feel he's become defensive and that you'd like him to consider that those feelings are not just a result of your "thinking".
I totally understand the rollercoaster feeling. It is not pleasant. I empathize...
-Verloren
Posted by healingmysoul on January 28, 2010, at 20:17:28
In reply to Re: transference and issues in therapy » healingmysoul, posted by Verloren on January 28, 2010, at 12:39:56
Verloren,
Thanks for your comments. I'm glade i joined this group! Seems like a lot of similar issues with "transference."
I just am really needing my t and wish he understood what its like. Don't know what to say because it is much worse than he can understand...
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 29, 2010, at 2:20:49
In reply to transference and issues in therapy, posted by healingmysoul on January 27, 2010, at 20:49:38
> I am new; I have "lurked" for a few weeks, but just signed up.
Please don't change your posting name without following these steps:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#names
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration.
Thanks,
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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