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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by workinprogress on November 16, 2009, at 1:35:17
I was thinking recently... it's amazing all that happens in that little room I go to twice a week (or maybe once starting soon). So much learning, growth, pain... so many tears, trials, and challenges. But, in the end, my T and I. Not just her and not just me... together, we've created some magic. If she were to have described the current day me to me back then, I would have either thought I was already there and denied there was somewhere to get or... I wouldn't have thought it possible. Regardless, the two of us, we've created magic in a pretty short time.
I'm wondering, do any of you have those feelings? Is there something particular you would point to that gave you that feeling? Is there a particular moment that felt magical to you?
I'd love to hear stories of everybody's magic... that ah-ha moment. The place of trust. The place of realizing something you'd never seen before... some leap of growth, or of recognizing something new... What sorts of magic has happened in your room, with your T?
Posted by IntendedMispelling on November 16, 2009, at 2:18:12
In reply to Magic..., posted by workinprogress on November 16, 2009, at 1:35:17
Well, I believe in magic. It hasn't happened yet though. I'm still looking for that therapist. (rather actively through the internet)
Posted by sassyfrancesca on November 16, 2009, at 8:22:30
In reply to Re: Magic..., posted by IntendedMispelling on November 16, 2009, at 2:18:12
I know what you are talking about. I have had the magic of someone who "gets" me; we think alike; I can even finish his sentences.
It is a very long story. I fell in love with him and am still with him after 6 years.
The reason I went to him was an unusual one; it was a church matter, and when it was over, I stayed with him because I love(d) him.
Posted by Phillipa on November 16, 2009, at 12:31:07
In reply to Re: Magic... » IntendedMispelling, posted by sassyfrancesca on November 16, 2009, at 8:22:30
Sassy that looks past tense???? Phillipa
Posted by pegasus on November 17, 2009, at 10:06:53
In reply to Magic..., posted by workinprogress on November 16, 2009, at 1:35:17
Oh, yeah, magic is what it is alright. I could point to several moments that felt really special, and magical. But I think the big magic was something I only realized completely in retrospect. It built up gradually over time, and eventually I could recognize that I was different and at the same time more truly myself than ever. I was so much freer and happier. Hard times came along, and I handled them fairly well. My life was more aligned with my love, and I could see the parts that still rubbed with a new, more helpful perspective. Truly magic.
The moments of magic were those that revealed the attunement of the relationship, or my progress. Like this conversation:
(I say some statement about myself)
T: I know
me: I know (smile)
T: I know (smile)Sounds silly, but it felt great.
peg
Posted by tetrix on November 17, 2009, at 11:58:15
In reply to Re: Magic..., posted by pegasus on November 17, 2009, at 10:06:53
wow lucky you.
Posted by gobbledygook on November 17, 2009, at 12:06:11
In reply to Re: Magic..., posted by pegasus on November 17, 2009, at 10:06:53
> Oh, yeah, magic is what it is alright. I could point to several moments that felt really special, and magical. But I think the big magic was something I only realized completely in retrospect. It built up gradually over time, and eventually I could recognize that I was different and at the same time more truly myself than ever. I was so much freer and happier. Hard times came along, and I handled them fairly well. My life was more aligned with my love, and I could see the parts that still rubbed with a new, more helpful perspective. Truly magic.
>
> The moments of magic were those that revealed the attunement of the relationship, or my progress. Like this conversation:
>
> (I say some statement about myself)
> T: I know
> me: I know (smile)
> T: I know (smile)
>
> Sounds silly, but it felt great.
>
> pegYou said it so well, Peg. Magic is exactly what I've been experiencing with my new therapist. I would not have believed it if I hadn't
experienced it myself...so perfect and exquisite!! The "knowing" and the connection between us when we're truly present and in the
moment together creates this magic. It seems to happen when I open myself up to feel his support, acceptance, caring, respect, trust
and love. He is a rare compassionate human being who truly cares.I'm noticing a different self slowly emerging, which feels strange but wonderful at the same time. Wonderful and freer, because what's
emerging feels like my true self. I haven't felt this good in a long time -- precious moments of clarity, well-being, and feeling centered.
I hope the magic I feel with my therapist continues to grow and evolves into magic that I can create by myself...for myself.Thanks for the lovely thread, workinprogress.
Ava
Posted by sassyfrancesca on November 17, 2009, at 13:03:59
In reply to Re: Magic... » sassyfrancesca, posted by Phillipa on November 16, 2009, at 12:31:07
(((Philippa))....No, still present tense:) :)
Posted by workinprogress on November 18, 2009, at 0:34:09
In reply to Re: Magic... » pegasus, posted by gobbledygook on November 17, 2009, at 12:06:11
It's pretty cool stuff, what goes on in those four walls when things are clicking. And, even when it doesn't feel like it's clicking- if you can talk about it and look at it and figure it out- I think that's magic too.
I told my T last session that I thought we've worked magic in there. That it wasn't her. And it wasn't me. It was the two of us together. We fit, it works, it's a good combo- we're a good combo. She agreed, said it doesn't happen all that often, but when it does it's good.
I think that's why it's so important to trust your gut and look for a therapist you relate to. They can be "the best therapist in the world" but if you don't click, no magic. If you do... who knows what can happen. I know I've grown tremendously because of the connection I have with my T- it's the single most important factor, the fact that I feel connected to her. Relatively immeasurable.
And Peg... I love your example of "I know" "I know" "I know"- I tried it on for size in my head with my T and I. I haven't had that experience, but I could totally feel that magic from your perspective- thanks so much for sharing.
And Ava- no problem on the thread. Just sharing my thoughts, thanks for adding to the thread- I appreciate it. Such lovely stories from all of you. And I know I didn't name everyone, sorry- it's late and I'm sleep deprived...
xo
WIP> > Oh, yeah, magic is what it is alright. I could point to several moments that felt really special, and magical. But I think the big magic was something I only realized completely in retrospect. It built up gradually over time, and eventually I could recognize that I was different and at the same time more truly myself than ever. I was so much freer and happier. Hard times came along, and I handled them fairly well. My life was more aligned with my love, and I could see the parts that still rubbed with a new, more helpful perspective. Truly magic.
> >
> > The moments of magic were those that revealed the attunement of the relationship, or my progress. Like this conversation:
> >
> > (I say some statement about myself)
> > T: I know
> > me: I know (smile)
> > T: I know (smile)
> >
> > Sounds silly, but it felt great.
> >
> > peg
>
> You said it so well, Peg. Magic is exactly what I've been experiencing with my new therapist. I would not have believed it if I hadn't
> experienced it myself...so perfect and exquisite!! The "knowing" and the connection between us when we're truly present and in the
> moment together creates this magic. It seems to happen when I open myself up to feel his support, acceptance, caring, respect, trust
> and love. He is a rare compassionate human being who truly cares.
>
> I'm noticing a different self slowly emerging, which feels strange but wonderful at the same time. Wonderful and freer, because what's
> emerging feels like my true self. I haven't felt this good in a long time -- precious moments of clarity, well-being, and feeling centered.
> I hope the magic I feel with my therapist continues to grow and evolves into magic that I can create by myself...for myself.
>
> Thanks for the lovely thread, workinprogress.
>
> Ava
>
Posted by emmanuel98 on November 18, 2009, at 3:14:07
In reply to Re: Magic..., posted by workinprogress on November 18, 2009, at 0:34:09
I was in psychiatric hospital with severe depression last summer. My T came to meet with me and the psychiatrist there. I had been feeling angry as well as depressed, but as soon as I saw him, my anger melted away. I told him this and he said, well, we're a good team.
This was so moving to me for some reason. And it's true. We have been a good team. Our sessions are almost always worthwhile and productive. I feel like every session is magic, although, at the beginning, when I was in the throes of transference love, my T would always say -- I'm not a magician or a miracle worker. All I do is bear witness. You're doing this yourself.
Posted by Dinah on November 18, 2009, at 9:34:32
In reply to Magic..., posted by workinprogress on November 16, 2009, at 1:35:17
I like how Pegasus divided it into two types of magic.
There's the magic in the room that I always compare to Harry Potter, book 4, where Harry's wand and Voldemort's wand meet, and a golden net of energy forms singing the phoenix song. My therapist says that when each of us are fully present, and each of us puts our own energy into the encounter, then what comes of that can be so much greater than the sum of its parts. He's not likely to label it magic, but it amounts to the same thing.
Then there is the more global magic. I'm not the same person I was when I entered therapy. I don't think the same way. I cope so much better than I did. I can't say I'm all better, because my biochemistry is still what it is, and that won't change. But I'm so much better at not layering "stuff" onto the biochemistry issues, and building super-issues that shred me into bits and pieces. And yet, I can't point at anything specific my therapist said or did. Nor do I understand the reason therapy works, since the studies on the neurochemical effects of therapy on the brain, or remapping of neural circuitry, or whatever it is, are way beyond my ken.
So for me, magic it will remain.
Posted by twinleaf on December 15, 2009, at 21:04:26
In reply to Magic..., posted by workinprogress on November 16, 2009, at 1:35:17
This is a great thread, with some wonderful stories. I do believe that the magic between us and our therapists does amazing things, We concentrate intensely on each other- he has very penetrating eyes with a very warm, caring and intelligent expression. He never stops looking intently at me. whereas I look and find him, then look away, and then look again to make sure he is still there looking. Really, like a baby. He always is. Every time I look, I feel kind of a thrill of joy and excitement. He really is THERE! Bit by bit, with lots of work about distortions on my part, and little ruptures and repairs between us, we are making a lot of changes, How- not sure at all. I'm pretty sure it's not interpretations, though, as there are very few of those
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