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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tetrix on November 5, 2009, at 20:55:51
I want to share something that is seemingly so insignificant and yet powerful. Few sessions ago my T handed me a receipt and somehow my fingers brushed the palm of her hand and it was very soft and warm. For some reason that touch felt so goooood.. another time while she opened a door, she was standing very close to me and once again my hand touched hers and that too felt very special..
I had very cold parents and always had the need for human contact. My T doesnt hug and doesnt hold..which is really too bad as I crave being hugged or held. So those times where by accident we touched each other made me feel a little more connected to her.. should I tell her that or that could freak her out?
can anyone relate to those feelings?
Posted by emmanuel98 on November 5, 2009, at 22:00:49
In reply to accidental touch, posted by tetrix on November 5, 2009, at 20:55:51
God yes. I shook my T's hand on our first appointment and that was it. Last summer, I was in the hospital and he came in to meet with me and the p-doc there. As I left, I took his hand in both of mine and thanked him for coming. It felt to me like such a huge thing to do. Most T's are trained to avoid touching and hugging, to encourage patients to verbalize feelings. So you should definitely talk to your T about this and what it means to you.
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> can anyone relate to those feelings?
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Posted by sassyfrancesca on November 6, 2009, at 8:54:15
In reply to accidental touch, posted by tetrix on November 5, 2009, at 20:55:51
If we grow up (as many of us did) deprived of love or touch it only stands to reason that we will want that touch in life. It is a normal human need. It is very sad that therapists are taught not to touch.....if you read Dr.Zur on the net; he is an advocate for therapists being human!
I would tell your therapist; after all.......being authentic is important. She won't freak....if she is sensitive, etc....she will welcome any and all of your thoughts.
I hug my t....sometimes he just wants to shake my hand; I roll my eyes; we have been going back and forth with this issue for 6 years.
Touch is more healing than any word(s) can ever be. Infants die withhout touch, but as adults we won't die, but I spirits do.
Hugs, Sassy
Posted by Sigismund on November 6, 2009, at 17:11:39
In reply to accidental touch, posted by tetrix on November 5, 2009, at 20:55:51
>should I tell her that or that could freak her out?
If you want to you should.
However, you come from a background of impoverished touch, but perhaps not impoverished intellectualisation.
So the question might not be so much will it freak her out, but will it freak you out?My feeling is that once you mention it you won't be so comfortable with fortuitous physical contact any more.
And you might need that much more that intellectualisations about it, which therapy can do very well.
Posted by HyperFocus on November 6, 2009, at 20:33:38
In reply to accidental touch, posted by tetrix on November 5, 2009, at 20:55:51
Maybe you could just bring up the issue of having cold parents and how those causal touches made you feel.
Our therapists are supposed to be guardians of our deepest darkest thoughts. Yeah it's possible she may freak out but I mean you're supposed to be trusting her. If you can't tell her stuff like that what else will you be reluctant to tell her?
Posted by Maxime on November 7, 2009, at 18:51:25
In reply to accidental touch, posted by tetrix on November 5, 2009, at 20:55:51
I really think that you should talk to your T about your feelings on this. It's important.
Posted by moonshadow on November 8, 2009, at 20:27:26
In reply to Re: accidental touch » tetrix, posted by Maxime on November 7, 2009, at 18:51:25
I, too, think it could be really beneficial to discuss with your T, even though it's scary. She may have some good insight on the matter.
Posted by tetrix on November 8, 2009, at 22:13:38
In reply to Re: accidental touch, posted by moonshadow on November 8, 2009, at 20:27:26
Thank you for your input.. it seems that the majority thinks that I should mention it to her.. I guess I didnt reach that level of comfort yet but I will try to squeeze it in a " by the way" sentence.
If I will tell her, I will let you know how she handles it.. I have far more important issue to discuss with her, namely my feeling of rejection by her.. but that a whole other topic, I might post when I am not so upset.
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