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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Recently A on October 20, 2009, at 23:18:54
Hi everyone-
Long time no post (I'm Recently, forgot my password and came back). I think I've entered a new stage in therapy, and I'm pretty sure it's not terribly productive....
My relationship with my T has been up and down (like most people I guess). In the past I had great difficulty opening up to my T, and struggled with even wanting to talk at all, so I am surprised to find that in the last sessions I have been a totally chatterbox - but not about my various issues - about non-personal things like TV shows, the weather, politics, etc. My T shares her views and opinions, too - so it seems like I am talking to a friend/co-worker or something. Trouble is I am not paying to talk to a co-worker, you know? It's kind of weird, and after sessions I feel unproductive and not that great.
It feels like maybe I've switched tactics from avoiding talking through silence to avoiding talking through chatter. I'm surprised my T doesn't pull me out of this "chatty" pattern, but she's the type who wants me to 'go at my own pace.' I still feel like she's somewhat facilitating this by engaging with me during my long periods of small talk - though I guess she probably wouldn't just sit stone-faced. So I guess I don't have any questions but, has anyone else been in this type of situation? How did you get out of it?
Thanks,
Recently
Posted by Dinah on October 20, 2009, at 23:46:00
In reply to Too chatty in session?, posted by Recently A on October 20, 2009, at 23:18:54
> How did you get out of it?
I always think that if you can't talk about the issues, talking about the process can be very helpful. What if you told her what you said here?
I likely have been in that situation, and my therapist likely allows me to choose what to talk about. I remember him calling me once on changing the subject, but that was one time when what I was saying was really really on target, and he was missing the connection.
I know that our sessions *can* turn into that, and I tend to keep an eye on it. More than he does really, because he's really into client directed sessions.
But definitely if I notice a pattern in myself, I mention it to him. It seems to be very helpful for me.
Posted by Elizabeth31 on October 21, 2009, at 18:12:30
In reply to Too chatty in session?, posted by Recently A on October 20, 2009, at 23:18:54
Hi! I just was going to tell you that I can totally relate to your post and from my experiences there perhaps is a subconscious element here that is trying to surface-sometimes it's difficult to figure out the obvious and maybe your therapist recognizes your behavior pattern and is allowing you to grow by forcing you to confront your feelings in therapy with her directly. Have you thought about telling her exactly what you wrote? Maybe you're at a point where you no longer need to be in therapy? I felt like my therapy had hit a platou and was not helping me so instead of continuing to go meet and try to fill space and even create drama in my therapist's relationship with me wanting more attention and then leave feeling like this was a waste of time--that's not a good approach by the way :) I would even suggest confronting the completion of your therapy and setting a last appointment to say goodbye instead of keeping things around and drifting back and forth with regular appointments. I bet if you were to simply think about your life and write some goals and things you'd like to accomplish in your life (work, family, friends, hobbies, travel etc) there might be ways your therapist could help you reach an even higher level of overall satisfaction with your life:). And if you're done and there is nothing left to justify continueing therapy-then congrats! You should feel good about yourself for meeting your objectives and completing therapy. I bet there are a lot of people such as myself reading this who wish we were in your position-hope that helps sorry it's so all over the place!
Posted by Poet on October 24, 2009, at 15:13:57
In reply to Too chatty in session?, posted by Recently A on October 20, 2009, at 23:18:54
Hi Recently,
My therapist and I are always chatty, we talk about movies and politics mostly which we have very similar opinions on. For me this is a "normal" session. I think T sees it as progress because in the beginning (I'm talking years, not hours) I would stare at my shoes and sit there in silence until she said something.
I think chatting with my T shows that I am less and tense and relaxed around her which is amazing progress for me, anyway.
Poet
Posted by duds on November 10, 2009, at 11:01:46
In reply to Re: Too chatty in session? » Recently A, posted by Poet on October 24, 2009, at 15:13:57
I have this problem right now. Me and T get along really well...similar sense of humor. :)
I think I need to try to get things back on track.
This is the end of the thread.
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