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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Cal on October 18, 2009, at 8:26:54
T says she loves me and we have kissed. She told me that this is what I have been missing in my life. I told her that I always felt I was attracted to women and now I know I am completely. I want to leave my husband, I know with T we can be happy. She said she can move her practise. I am so happy about this!!
Posted by annierose on October 18, 2009, at 10:42:12
In reply to we love each other., posted by Cal on October 18, 2009, at 8:26:54
I'm not sure what type of support you expected in posting this message. I think it's quite sad your therapist has broken the sacred boundaries of a healthy therapeutic relationship. A sexual relationship that starts in the therapy room is bound to disappoint you in time. Take care of yourself. Think of what you might be losing if this relationship continues.
Posted by Dinah on October 18, 2009, at 10:57:25
In reply to we love each other., posted by Cal on October 18, 2009, at 8:26:54
The trouble with winning someone who has to break every ethical value they claim to hold dear, is that you end up with someone who has no real regard for ethical values.
Moreover, wherever she moves her practice, she's going to have lost not only her current income stream, but she will be in perpetual risk of losing her license. Unless she dislikes her current line of work, that could lead to some resentment. And more lies. To her professional organization. And implicitly to her future clients, who will have no idea that she's holding her license out of a deception that may be blown out of the water at any time. I'm guessing your husband won't be too crazy about her after this? If my husband ran off with his (at this point nonexistent) therapist, I'd report that therapist without thinking twice.
She feels no sense of obligation to her current clients?
I don't know you, or her, or your relationship. But in general this is a prize that seems to me to be better left to fantasy. There is a reason for the rules.
I wish you well, and hope that this is an aberration rather than an habitual part of her character. But I hope for her future clients that she does some serious work on herself before seeing clients again.
Posted by seldomseen on October 18, 2009, at 17:33:52
In reply to we love each other., posted by Cal on October 18, 2009, at 8:26:54
What about your therapy? Are you going to continue with someone else?
Posted by Cal on October 19, 2009, at 8:48:01
In reply to Re: we love each other. » Cal, posted by seldomseen on October 18, 2009, at 17:33:52
No I'm not going to oontinue seeing someone else, T says once we're together permenantly that I will begin to feel much better.
She is sad about leaving her current pratice but feels she has no option.
I Haven't slept in 72hours I just feel so happy. I am going to help her fund a new practice that way she says I shall feel like I am even closer to her.
Posted by BayLeaf on October 19, 2009, at 19:00:36
In reply to Re: we love each other., posted by Cal on October 19, 2009, at 8:48:01
Umm...T says you don't need to be in therapy anymore and you should fund her new practice?? She says a lot about what you should do and why. Sorry, but she seems kinda controlling. Does it seemm that way to you?
Have you been in controlling relationships in the past?
Posted by muffled on October 19, 2009, at 19:21:05
In reply to Re: we love each other. » Cal, posted by BayLeaf on October 19, 2009, at 19:00:36
O M G.
This is SOOOOOO wrong.
Its sick.
This is so bad it feels like someone is being a troll.
PLEASE, PLEASE< PLEASE if this is true what is happening, then it is worth it to WAIT. If the love is true, then it will survive a wait until you have a chance to connect to another therapist and talk this out BEFORE you act on this.
If the love is TRUE, then your ex therapist will support you in this.
If she doesn't,
RUN.
Stay away from her because she is using you.
I'm sorry to be harsh, but this is setting off every alarm I have.
I hope you don't get too hurt.
M
Posted by tetrix on October 19, 2009, at 19:33:56
In reply to we love each other., posted by Cal on October 18, 2009, at 8:26:54
IMHO this sounds very fishy.. you are going to fund her practice... she tells you what you need... looks like she is rushing you and you are probably acting on transference
If your feelings are real and mutual I would imagine that your T would suggest taking some off, so you could find another T... get to know your newfound love outside of the office... evaluate things in perspective..
Posted by Maria01 on October 19, 2009, at 20:24:09
In reply to we love each other., posted by Cal on October 18, 2009, at 8:26:54
'Sup, troll?
Posted by muffled on October 19, 2009, at 21:15:21
In reply to Re: we love each other., posted by muffled on October 19, 2009, at 19:21:05
trolls somboddy that creates events to cause a fuss.
NOT saying this person a troll, but that this is so outrageous, it seem like troll stuff.
Its real bad.
I hope that person will be OK.Just I know of another on another board that had an experience where her T totally took her over etc and it was bad, she's real messed.
ALOT.Thats all.
M
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 20, 2009, at 1:08:41
In reply to Re: we love each other., posted by Maria01 on October 19, 2009, at 20:24:09
> 'Sup, troll?
Sorry, but please don't post anything that could lead others (such as the poster of that message) to feel accused.
But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please first see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Cal on October 20, 2009, at 4:06:38
In reply to Re: please be civil » Maria01, posted by Dr. Bob on October 20, 2009, at 1:08:41
I'm falling apart...my head is spinning i don't feel good....i'm sorry to have come here with this....the voices are angry at me....
Posted by Dinah on October 20, 2009, at 8:32:53
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by Cal on October 20, 2009, at 4:06:38
That sounds like a medical issue that may be best brought to your psychiatrist rather than your therapist. Or to the emergency room. Perhaps your meds are causing some reaction. In crisis, real life help is needed.
Posted by Phillipa on October 20, 2009, at 10:54:38
In reply to The voices » Cal, posted by Dinah on October 20, 2009, at 8:32:53
I just read this and voices? Do you have a medical diagnosis? This I feel is not healthy nor good for you. Please seek treatment from another professional. Phillipa
Posted by tetrix on October 20, 2009, at 12:36:40
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by Cal on October 20, 2009, at 4:06:38
The voices on this board or some other voices?
Posted by MAxime on October 20, 2009, at 16:17:39
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by Cal on October 20, 2009, at 4:06:38
If you are hearing voices you need to seek help immediately. I don't think what is going on is good for. I don't feel like your T cares about what is best for you and that she is looking out only for her own needs.
Posted by Kath on October 21, 2009, at 19:17:38
In reply to Re: please be civil » Cal, posted by MAxime on October 20, 2009, at 16:17:39
Dear Cal,
I hope you seek medical attention immediately. If people are hearing voices, I think that medical attention is definitely in order.
I wish you the best.
Kath
Posted by annierose on October 21, 2009, at 19:22:29
In reply to Re: please be civil » MAxime, posted by Kath on October 21, 2009, at 19:17:38
I am not familar with Cal and her posting history/writing style, but I took her post to mean the "voices of babble" ... the people, including me, that responded to her initial post were not saying "great, we're so happy for you, good luck." So these voices (us) were angry voices.
I could be totally wrong and way off base, but that is what I thought she meant when she wrote that.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on October 22, 2009, at 12:35:56
In reply to Re: FWIW, posted by annierose on October 21, 2009, at 19:22:29
Unfortunately, some people aren't good at reflecting about someone else's stuff and sound judgemental, etc....that is why I rarely post about my t and I. I recognize and understand that unless you have experienced something (like being in love with a t, etc), you cannot understand it. I recall years ago that a woman named Jadah was having an affair with her t for 5 years or so. People were supportive and understanding.
Cal, I am sorry about your t; even tho you have feelings for her, she is being unethical (as my t is). Perhaps you might want to see another t to help you with your situation.
Hugs, Sassy
This is the end of the thread.
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