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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by moonshadow on September 28, 2009, at 18:28:30
I feel weird about posting this, but I don't know where else to go for advice.
I've been seeing my new pdoc/T for about 11 weeks now. For a long time, I felt like she really didn't like me or was annoyed at me. Also, for many of those sessions, I would dissociate like crazy. I didn't trust her, and I felt uncomfortable.
For the past two sessions, I haven't dissociated at all, and actually feel that she may, indeed, like me, at least a little. Or at least that I don't annoy her. I also recently brought up the fact that I did feel like I annoyed her, which was a good discussion.
I feel stuck, like what is going to happen if I dissociate again? Will she get annoyed? Am I prohibited from dissociating? (Of course she'd say no, but she seems so much...happier, nicer, kinder when I don't dissociate). The thing I don't think she understands is that when I dissociate, I'm able to deal with topics in a very raw, real way. It helps me access emotions that I won't when I'm fully present. But I'm scared to explore that, or to go to subjects where I know I will dissociate. She hasn't said "dissociation is bad", but she doesn't like it when I get upset in sessions - she stops asking questions and it gets weird.
Posted by Dinah on September 29, 2009, at 7:43:05
In reply to Dissociating in session - bad?, posted by moonshadow on September 28, 2009, at 18:28:30
Eleven weeks isn't that long to get to know and understand you. She might feel cautious when she sees an extreme reaction.
What I've found works with my therapist is to be totally honest, in a nonjudgmental and inquiring way, with him about his reaction and how it is affecting me. Giving him feedback about how I'm experiencing him helps me feel safe to be myself.
Posted by Moonshadow on September 29, 2009, at 18:37:53
In reply to Re: Dissociating in session - bad? » moonshadow, posted by Dinah on September 29, 2009, at 7:43:05
Thanks Dinah. I'm almost scared that if I bring it up, she'll get weird and annoyed. I'm paranoid, almost. I like it so much more when I feel like she's nice.
I thikn you're right about it being only 11 weeks. To me that seems so long, but it's not, really. To bring it up in a "I'm curious about your reaction" would be good. She loves it when I bring up things like that, because it clues her in to what I'm thinking.
Posted by antigua3 on September 30, 2009, at 8:04:30
In reply to Re: Dissociating in session - bad?, posted by Moonshadow on September 29, 2009, at 18:37:53
Just a thought. Therapy isn't always "nice." It can get raw and difficult at times, and sometimes we have to work through some "not-so-nice" feelings with our Ts. That's what they're there for--to help us understand all our feelings.
I'm a people pleaser and when I think back over the years at some of the things I've said in therapy, I'm appalled at myself, but they needed to be said in order to be healed.
I'm just trying to say that as you feel more comfortable with your T, maybe you won't feel that it always has to be nice. You aren't there to please her; she's there to help you!
I hope I don't sound harsh. I certainly don't mean too.
good luck,
antigua
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