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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by morganator on September 27, 2009, at 4:01:47
In reply to Depression or existential despair? So lost..., posted by uncouth on September 23, 2009, at 18:55:14
Simply finding answers through God and prayer will not get you better. You need to find a way to find peace withing yourself through yourself and not just through God.
Have you tried-Therapy? Group therapy? Exercise? Finding things you are good at and enjoy and refining and developing them? Surrounding yourself with friends?
There must be things about yourself that you do not love that are competing against and winning the battle against the things about yourself that you do or should love. Have you taken time to try to figure out what those things are that you do not love about yourself and why you do not love those things. I do not believe depression can take full control of us if we truly love ourselves-if we love more things about ourselves than we do not love about ourselves. I am confused as to why this is not considered more and talked about more. The focus is way too often put on medication and chemical imbalance and genetics. For example, you could be predisposed to depression/bipolar, but if you have a talent that you love and have success with it is less likely that your predisposition will take the form of the morbid monster it has potential to. The same applies to having good relationships, having a well nurtured very loving childhood, having strong faith in God(I am agnostic by the way), knowing how to have fun with yourself and others, having high healthy self esteem, knowing how to treat your body and mind well through diet/exercise/yoga, etc.
One thing we have to understand is that anxiety and depression are a part of life, even for people that do not suffer from them clinically. The root of all of our anxiety and depression is death. So for those of us that are super sensitive and biologically predisposed to suffering and being affected, our feelings/questions about our existence is even that much more difficult to deal with. We do not have the typical shield that many have from the fear of the inevitable. Maybe I am not making sense but this is the best I can do right now. Ugh...
I believe that if we knew that we would never die and we knew that we would never grow old, we would have a much better outlook on life. We would feel like we had an eternity to work on what ails us. The future would always be bright, knowing that one day we would be able to beat down the grim gremlin inside making room for the person that we truly love to shine. I think aging and death is getting in the way. Sorry for sounding pessimistic. This does not mean that I do not believe that we can still find peace and happiness as we age. One way to heal is through our children. Of course, in order to do this we would have to heal enough to be able to attract the right person and be strong enough to maintain a healthy relationship with them. One problem is that many of us do not truly love ourselves. We have been deeply hurt in the past and are afraid of being hurt again. This results in a classic use of a coping/defense mechanism in which we sabotage our relationships. We hold on to our misery. We do so because we are afraid of being vulnerable. Because we were hurt and still are hurting, we subconsciously do not allow ourselves things that may make us truly happy and content. If we find ourselves truly content than we are suddenly vulnerable, and if we are vulnerable we can then be hurt once again. The one coping mechanism that allows us to stay in a state where we are unaware of the fact that we are doing this is the most powerful mechanism of all, denial.
Posted by Lou Pilder on September 27, 2009, at 4:01:47
In reply to Re: Depression or existential despair? So lost..., posted by morganator on September 25, 2009, at 9:26:07
> Simply finding answers through God and prayer will not get you better. You need to find a way to find peace withing yourself through yourself and not just through God.
>
> Have you tried-Therapy? Group therapy? Exercise? Finding things you are good at and enjoy and refining and developing them? Surrounding yourself with friends?
>
> There must be things about yourself that you do not love that are competing against and winning the battle against the things about yourself that you do or should love. Have you taken time to try to figure out what those things are that you do not love about yourself and why you do not love those things. I do not believe depression can take full control of us if we truly love ourselves-if we love more things about ourselves than we do not love about ourselves. I am confused as to why this is not considered more and talked about more. The focus is way too often put on medication and chemical imbalance and genetics. For example, you could be predisposed to depression/bipolar, but if you have a talent that you love and have success with it is less likely that your predisposition will take the form of the morbid monster it has potential to. The same applies to having good relationships, having a well nurtured very loving childhood, having strong faith in God(I am agnostic by the way), knowing how to have fun with yourself and others, having high healthy self esteem, knowing how to treat your body and mind well through diet/exercise/yoga, etc.
>
> One thing we have to understand is that anxiety and depression are a part of life, even for people that do not suffer from them clinically. The root of all of our anxiety and depression is death. So for those of us that are super sensitive and biologically predisposed to suffering and being affected, our feelings/questions about our existence is even that much more difficult to deal with. We do not have the typical shield that many have from the fear of the inevitable. Maybe I am not making sense but this is the best I can do right now. Ugh...
>
> I believe that if we knew that we would never die and we knew that we would never grow old, we would have a much better outlook on life. We would feel like we had an eternity to work on what ails us. The future would always be bright, knowing that one day we would be able to beat down the grim gremlin inside making room for the person that we truly love to shine. I think aging and death is getting in the way. Sorry for sounding pessimistic. This does not mean that I do not believe that we can still find peace and happiness as we age. One way to heal is through our children. Of course, in order to do this we would have to heal enough to be able to attract the right person and be strong enough to maintain a healthy relationship with them. One problem is that many of us do not truly love ourselves. We have been deeply hurt in the past and are afraid of being hurt again. This results in a classic use of a coping/defense mechanism in which we sabotage our relationships. We hold on to our misery. We do so because we are afraid of being vulnerable. Because we were hurt and still are hurting, we subconsciously do not allow ourselves things that may make us truly happy and content. If we find ourselves truly content than we are suddenly vulnerable, and if we are vulnerable we can then be hurt once again. The one coping mechanism that allows us to stay in a state where we are unaware of the fact that we are doing this is the most powerful mechanism of all, denial.morganator,
You wrote,[...finding answers through God..will not get you better...]
I am unsure as to what you are wanting to mean here. If you could post answers to the following, then I could have the opportunity to respond accordingly.
A. What authority, if any, do you use to use the words, {>will< not}, get better? (this could also be thought as how did you make that conclusion, if you are writing the statement as a conclusion)
B. Could there be people that did get better when they found answers through God?
C. What way(s) can people get answers through God
D. Which God(s) are you refering to?
E. Are there groups of people that take the postion that you take here in question? If so, could you post here the name that the group(s) use to designate themselves from other groups if they have such a name to separate themselves from other groups?
F. It is generally accepted that Moses wrote what is called the book, Genesis. The book could have those that read it find answers from God as to those that consider the book to be God speaking through Moses and that thearfore {truth} could come to those people that believe the content of the book is the truth from God. What advice could you give to people concerning (redacted by respondent)
Lou
Posted by Phillipa on September 27, 2009, at 4:01:48
In reply to Re: Depression or existential despair? So lost..., posted by morganator on September 25, 2009, at 9:26:07
Being 63 I know your're right in my case at least. The ruler that measures time is getter shorter. When younger there was always time. Now there is not hence my anxiety and fears. And I do fear death. Great post Morgan Love Phillipa
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 27, 2009, at 4:31:46
In reply to Re: Depression or existential despair? So lost..., posted by morganator on September 27, 2009, at 4:01:47
> Simply finding answers through God and prayer will not get you better.
Lou has a point, please be sensitive to the feelings of others (such as those who feel better after finding answers through God).
But please don't take this personally, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person, and I'm sorry if this hurts you. I think you brought up lots of good points in the rest of your post, and I hope they're discussed further.
More information about posting policies is in the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceAnd follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Lou Pilder on September 27, 2009, at 6:11:51
In reply to Re: Depression or existential despair? So lost..., posted by morganator on September 27, 2009, at 4:01:47
morganator,
You wrote,[...The root of all of our anxiety and depression is death...].
I am unsure as to what you are wanting to mean here by that. If you could post answers to the following, then I could have the opportunity to respond accordingly.
A. Are you stating the statement in question as an opinion or as a fact?
B. For whatever one you are stating the statement in question as, could you then post here the authority that you use if you are stating as fact, or the criteria that you are using as to how an opinion is formed if you are stating as an opinion?
Lou
Posted by Sigismund on September 27, 2009, at 16:33:17
In reply to Lou's request-fctvsopin » morganator, posted by Lou Pilder on September 27, 2009, at 6:11:51
Here's my 2 bob's worth on everlasting life
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20080809/msgs/906660.html
I think eternal life would be the start of a war of all against all.
No point in waiting around for people to die then.
But if you couldn't kill them off, I suppose you could always lock them up?
Posted by blahblahblah on September 27, 2009, at 18:48:57
In reply to Re: Lou's request-fctvsopin, posted by Sigismund on September 27, 2009, at 16:33:17
i'm quite comfortable with death. in fact i look forward to the day. my anxiety is about living, not dying. have to be here everyday and live up to my own expectations is what makes me anxious. if i knew i didnt have to do any of it i think most of my anxiety would go away. that is all. :)
Posted by Dinah on September 27, 2009, at 18:59:22
In reply to Re: Lou's request-fctvsopin, posted by blahblahblah on September 27, 2009, at 18:48:57
I have always thought that. That it wasn't death I feared, but life.
Still, as I get older, and closer to death, it does strike me forcibly sometimes that one day in the not terribly distant future I will no longer be. And that in the meantime, my body and mind will let me down more and more.
It's a bit unsettling.
Posted by Phillipa on September 27, 2009, at 19:42:21
In reply to Re: Lou's request-fctvsopin, posted by Dinah on September 27, 2009, at 18:59:22
More than unsettling for me. I would like to stick around and watch the world change hopefully for the better. Phillipa
Posted by blahblahblah on September 27, 2009, at 20:11:50
In reply to Re: Lou's request-fctvsopin » Dinah, posted by Phillipa on September 27, 2009, at 19:42:21
Maybe it's because i'm 26 that i find living makes me anxious. so much i have to do and i don't feel i have it in me to do it. responsibility freaks me out. how do you all overcome adult responsibilities when there is still a damaged child in you??
Posted by Dinah on September 27, 2009, at 22:37:00
In reply to Re: Lou's request-fctvsopin, posted by blahblahblah on September 27, 2009, at 20:11:50
I still don't consider myself an adult.
One of my favorite cartoons that I've kept since the eighties is of Norman Drabble contemplating his future as he prepares to become an adult in the real world. He grabs a tree and cries "I don't want to be an adult in the real world!!!!"
It's become one of the catchphrases my husband and I use all the time.
It's scary to take on responsibility. I wonder if anyone really feels like an adult.
This is the end of the thread.
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