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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phillipa on July 16, 2009, at 13:15:15
I guess cause I'm older over 60 now I find myself comparing life with a ruler. That ruler the ones with inches used to be so long and now it seems so short. When younger seemed like there was so much time and quite frankly I'm terrified. What will happen. I don't want to be alone. Terrified. And puff you're just gone and forgotten about. Thanks for letting me talk. Love Phillipa seems like I'm always in a rush now and rushing toward what I don't know?
Posted by Sigismund on July 16, 2009, at 14:41:16
In reply to Seriously Does Anyone Think Of Their Own Death?, posted by Phillipa on July 16, 2009, at 13:15:15
Every day, of course.
But don't you find the world becomes more beautiful as you get older?
Think of young people. When I was young I naturally thought old people were pretty gross, but I never realised young people were beautiful.
I can stare at the sky and the clouds (Australia has good clouds. I don't know about the USA, but the European sky has seemed like a sheet of lead when I've been there. Australia has this huge sky and (most of the time) way too much light.)
What I am trying to say is that the closer I get to death the more I realise how beautiful and magical it all is. Mankind and his products are a special case and are generally vile, certainly (for example) the built environment here, which is why I live in the country.Isn't it odd? All these creatures, all these people are born and then they die. I figure if they can do it I can do it too.
And at least I've escaped the worst that humans do to each other.So what are you terrified of? Being snuffed out? Like your consciousness being suffocated?
But it's hard, isn't it, when someone who is dying gives you that look and asks to be made better or, if that is impossible, asks to be remembered.
Posted by Kath on July 16, 2009, at 19:09:12
In reply to Seriously Does Anyone Think Of Their Own Death?, posted by Phillipa on July 16, 2009, at 13:15:15
Yeah sometimes, but it's so scarey that I VERY quickly go back into denial that I'll ever die at all!!!!!
Yikes.
Kath
I'm 62 so it seems much closer than it did!!! I hate thinking of it Phillipa.
Posted by Kath on July 16, 2009, at 19:11:54
In reply to Re: Seriously Does Anyone Think Of Their Own Death? » Phillipa, posted by Sigismund on July 16, 2009, at 14:41:16
I'm scared because I do believe there's something after death, but I don't know what.
It feels really scarey to face the unknown ALONE.
I believe in something - not sure if I'd call it God, but I do believe in something, but I'm still scared. I'll be somewhere else all ALONE. Obviously the alone part bothers me - & the unknown part.
Kath
Posted by Sigismund on July 16, 2009, at 20:45:50
In reply to Re: Seriously Does Anyone Think Of Their Own Death? » Sigismund, posted by Kath on July 16, 2009, at 19:11:54
I will feel as well after I die as I did before I was born.
Posted by Phillipa on July 16, 2009, at 20:53:54
In reply to Re: Seriously Does Anyone Think Of Their Own Death? » Kath, posted by Sigismund on July 16, 2009, at 20:45:50
To me I compare it with being under anesthesia a nothingness and I want to think and be here. Alone is horrible to me. And cold people throwing dirt on me and then going away never to return. Phillipa
Posted by olivepit on July 16, 2009, at 23:40:24
In reply to Re: Seriously Does Anyone Think Of Their Own Death?, posted by Phillipa on July 16, 2009, at 20:53:54
> To me I compare it with being under anesthesia a nothingness and I want to think and be here. Alone is horrible to me.
me too. Its very scary to me. comes up too much in my mind.
Posted by Sigismund on July 17, 2009, at 1:43:24
In reply to Re: Seriously Does Anyone Think Of Their Own Death?, posted by olivepit on July 16, 2009, at 23:40:24
It's scary alright. In my miserable boarding school I had a good English teacher. This is the end of King Lear. Lear, having ruined everything, having been united with the daughter he damned, has finally rescued her from being hanged, but she is dead. Kent, the most good man in the play, also does not get what he wants, which is recognition. Life is many things, one of which is hell.
King Lear
Howl, howl, howl, howl! O, you are men of stones:
Had I your tongues and eyes, I'ld use them so
That heaven's vault should crack. She's gone for ever!
I know when one is dead, and when one lives;
She's dead as earth. Lend me a looking-glass;
If that her breath will mist or stain the stone,
Why, then she lives.KENT
Is this the promised endEDGAR
Or image of that horror?ALBANY
Fall, and cease!KING LEAR
This feather stirs; she lives! if it be so,
It is a chance which does redeem all sorrows
That ever I have felt.KENT
[Kneeling] O my good master!KING LEAR
Prithee, away.EDGAR
'Tis noble Kent, your friend.KING LEAR
A plague upon you, murderers, traitors all!
I might have saved her; now she's gone for ever!
Cordelia, Cordelia! stay a little. Ha!
What is't thou say'st? Her voice was ever soft,
Gentle, and low, an excellent thing in woman.
I kill'd the slave that was a-hanging thee.Captain
'Tis true, my lords, he did.KING LEAR
Did I not, fellow?
I have seen the day, with my good biting falchion
I would have made them skip: I am old now,
And these same crosses spoil me. Who are you?
Mine eyes are not o' the best: I'll tell you straight.KENT
If fortune brag of two she loved and hated,
One of them we behold.KING LEAR
This is a dull sight. Are you not Kent?KENT
The same,
Your servant Kent: Where is your servant Caius?KING LEAR
He's a good fellow, I can tell you that;
He'll strike, and quickly too: he's dead and rotten.KENT
No, my good lord; I am the very man,--KING LEAR
I'll see that straight.KENT
That, from your first of difference and decay,
Have follow'd your sad steps.KING LEAR
You are welcome hither.KENT
Nor no man else: all's cheerless, dark, and deadly.
Your eldest daughters have fordone them selves,
And desperately are dead.KING LEAR
Ay, so I think.ALBANY
He knows not what he says: and vain it is
That we present us to him.EDGAR
Very bootless.Enter a Captain
Captain
Edmund is dead, my lord.ALBANY
That's but a trifle here.
You lords and noble friends, know our intent.
What comfort to this great decay may come
Shall be applied: for us we will resign,
During the life of this old majesty,
To him our absolute power:To EDGAR and KENT
you, to your rights:
With boot, and such addition as your honours
Have more than merited. All friends shall taste
The wages of their virtue, and all foes
The cup of their deservings. O, see, see!KING LEAR
And my poor fool is hang'd! No, no, no life!
Why should a dog, a horse, a rat, have life,
And thou no breath at all? Thou'lt come no more,
Never, never, never, never, never!
Pray you, undo this button: thank you, sir.
Do you see this? Look on her, look, her lips,
Look there, look there!Dies
EDGAR
He faints! My lord, my lord!KENT
Break, heart; I prithee, break!EDGAR
Look up, my lord.KENT
Vex not his ghost: O, let him pass! he hates him much
That would upon the rack of this tough world
Stretch him out longer.EDGAR
He is gone, indeed.KENT
The wonder is, he hath endured so long:
He but usurp'd his life.ALBANY
Bear them from hence. Our present business
Is general woe.To KENT and EDGAR
Friends of my soul, you twain
Rule in this realm, and the gored state sustain.KENT
I have a journey, sir, shortly to go;
My master calls me, I must not say no.ALBANY
The weight of this sad time we must obey;
Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say.
The oldest hath borne most: we that are young
Shall never see so much, nor live so long.Exeunt, with a dead march
Posted by HyperFocus on July 17, 2009, at 10:03:39
In reply to Seriously Does Anyone Think Of Their Own Death?, posted by Phillipa on July 16, 2009, at 13:15:15
I do fear the experience of death - the unknown - but I think what I fear more is not sucking as much out of life as I can. I have this fear that I will die without ever knowing what it is to have certain things: to be in love, to have children, to push my body to its physical limits, to have peace, to have creative ideas come to fruition etc...
Posted by sassyfrancesca on July 17, 2009, at 10:37:31
In reply to Seriously Does Anyone Think Of Their Own Death?, posted by Phillipa on July 16, 2009, at 13:15:15
Hey, Philippa! I am going to be 63 in September, and I have pretty much thought about death for a long time (not because of age), but I have always been aware of time passing and how precious life is, and have tended to live in the moment.
I've written my memoir, a book of poetry (not yet published), been published 3 times in a university journal, the moderator of an abused survivors group, won a scholarship (by writing about my life); went back to school, etc., etc.....because I believe in the living in the moment, etc.My t and I have discussed our deaths more than once! I give myself a good 30 more years (attitude is everything, LOL)
My amazing teacher just died at 96; she played piano for silent films, and still dressed up in costume for plays (dressed as Willie Nelson)
She is my inspiration to never give up!
I am still writing Oprah, and want to get on her program to talk about my life, book, verbal abuse and spiritual abuse....if I don't it won't be for lack of trying.
Hugs, Philippa!
Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2009, at 12:29:03
In reply to Seriously Does Anyone Think Of Their Own Death?, posted by Phillipa on July 16, 2009, at 13:15:15
You might enjoy Irvin Yalom. He really has a lot to say on the topic. His latest book is all about it. "Staring at the Sun" I haven't read it yet, because it's not a big issue for me.
I had so many dogs over the years die that I got used to seeing death. I'd know when they were about to die, because they'd only be partially here. It seemed like one eye was fixed on something that I couldn't see. They didn't seem scared.
I spent a while, many years ago, being obsessed with death. Thinking about the black plague, and the way pillaging armies used to attack and kill the villagers. My ancestors were serfs, and I imagined their short lives. So short by today's standards. I'd think about how few children grew to adulthood in those days and how many women died in childbirth. The phrase "bodies stacked like cord wood" stuck in my mind, and comes to mind even now. I don't recall where I saw it, and I don't even now know what cord wood is. But I thought on these things over and over. And I realized how short a period of time it has been that a long life and death of old age became expected.
And somehow, that made me feel better about all of it. I'm not sure why. I don't know that I have any specific beliefs about it. I rather suspect that this is all the time we have, at least as a separate consciousness. But I don't know for sure. I do know that whatever comes after, I trust that it will be just what should come after. Just like being born must seem enormously scary to a baby, but afterward having been born seems just right.
Posted by Phillipa on July 17, 2009, at 20:10:59
In reply to Re: Seriously Does Anyone Think Of Their Own Death?, posted by Dinah on July 17, 2009, at 12:29:03
Dinah don't know if I'd enjoy reading about death but the library probably has that book. I was kept from death as a child and even as a young adult. Only funeral was at was my Mother's and Father's. Then one with Greg the guy just looked like wax. When nursing school remember this old man never saw him before but the staff said he's dying. I kept sneaking to his room and watching him. The strangest thing happened he had not opened his eyes or moved but when he died I walked into that room and the silence was increadible and somehow this man now had folded his arms over his own chest. I told the staff they said did you hear the quietness?
For me I goggle Rainbow's Bridge where the owner crosses over a bridge when they die and their pup leaps into their arms and all is sunny and warm. That is what I truly want. Love Phillipa
Posted by seldomseen on July 18, 2009, at 15:54:01
In reply to Seriously Does Anyone Think Of Their Own Death?, posted by Phillipa on July 16, 2009, at 13:15:15
Sure, I think about my death. But I can't say I'm necessarily afraid of it. Sometimes, in the dark parts, I fear only that I would see it as relief.
Like Dinah, I've been no stanger to death throughout my life. I was with my grandfather when he passed, holding his hand. He opened his eyes just prior to his last breath and I swear he was looking at something. It wasn't an empty stare. There was recognition.
I've been with so many animals as they have passed. They very much have one eye on something else at their deaths as well.
I don't know what comes after this life for sure, but somehow deep in my deepest intuition there is the knowledge that this life is not the end for us.
Like you, I most hope that we are reunited in some way with those we have loved, but have gone before us. I tell myself that it's the truth anyway. THAT truly would be heaven for me. There are so many souls that I simply can not wait to see - but just not yet. I've got a little time left here.
Seldom.
Posted by Deneb on July 18, 2009, at 16:33:48
In reply to Seriously Does Anyone Think Of Their Own Death?, posted by Phillipa on July 16, 2009, at 13:15:15
I think being dead is like not being born yet. I wasn't scared before I was born. I actually hope I will be reincarnated. I kind of believe in that. I don't really believe in a soul or anything, but I know the atoms and energy that are me will not disappear. We don't really disappear. I will be a part of the universe for as long as the universe exists.
I'm not scared of being dead, it's dying of a disease that scares me.
Posted by Phillipa on July 18, 2009, at 20:56:46
In reply to Re: Seriously Does Anyone Think Of Their Own Death?, posted by Deneb on July 18, 2009, at 16:33:48
It's a obsessive thought since the ruler of life is shortened so much. Used to be very long. Now that obituary wrote in school dying age 120 on the beach under a Palm tree in the sun with the waves I think could handle as the ruler would measure only one half gone. Love Phillipa
Posted by friesandcoke on July 19, 2009, at 11:18:16
In reply to Seriously Does Anyone Think Of Their Own Death?, posted by Phillipa on July 16, 2009, at 13:15:15
yes. i am 55 and think about it. how am i going to die and will i be alone, who will clean out my apt, what will happen to my valuables, my pets, etc. yes i think about it.
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