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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by MusicLuv on December 17, 2008, at 13:09:07
Hi, I'm new here, and I have a therapy issue that I'm hoping someone here can help me with.
I'm really bad at finding things to talk about in therapy, and when my therapist asks me questions about how I feel about things, I find myself saying "I don't know" which is definitely not the case. I think it's more like "I don't know how to put it into words" and I think she gets that, but she gets frustrated and I think yesterday she may have even rolled her eyes.
In any case, I'm just wondering if anyone has any suggestions of how to put feelings into words. My therapist is usually so great, and I don't want to feel like I can't contribute to my own therapy. Suggestions?
MusicLuv
Posted by Phillipa on December 17, 2008, at 13:28:08
In reply to Saying 'I don't know' too much, posted by MusicLuv on December 17, 2008, at 13:09:07
I can give advise but don't take it could you write it down first? Phillipa
Posted by MusicLuv on December 17, 2008, at 13:32:42
In reply to Re: Saying 'I don't know' too much » MusicLuv, posted by Phillipa on December 17, 2008, at 13:28:08
Thanks Phillipa, I am a writer by nature, and I've written things and brought them in with me, but I don't usually write when I'm in therapy.
Maybe I should bring a notepad to next session. She takes notes the whole time.. I wonder if it would be strange if I did too.
Posted by Racer on December 17, 2008, at 14:26:53
In reply to Saying 'I don't know' too much, posted by MusicLuv on December 17, 2008, at 13:09:07
I tend to see it as part of the therapist's job to help you identify feelings, help you learn how to put them into words. I know that's a lot of what my therapist had to do for me, for a long time. (And sometimes still...)
As for things that helped, I used word pictures to try to describe what I was feeling. Some feelings were easiest for me to illustrate with stories of past events, others by putting words around a sort of mental image. Eventually, it got easier to say, "Aha! That 'dessicated landscape' feeling is grief," or the "feeling locked in chains" feeling is anxiety. (None of which means that those feelings are any more pleasant, by the way -- only that I learned to recognize and name them.)
I hope that helped, and welcome to Babble!
Posted by MusicLuv on December 17, 2008, at 14:58:28
In reply to Re: Saying 'I don't know' too much » MusicLuv, posted by Racer on December 17, 2008, at 14:26:53
Hi Racer,
That helps a lot, actually. Thank you so much! I'm definitely going to try the mental image approach.
I'm not really sure why I have such a hard time finding words in therapy.. the rest of my day I feel like I can't shut up! Haha
Thank you again for the advice. I think I'm gonna like it here on Babble :)
Posted by sassyfrancesca on December 17, 2008, at 15:39:30
In reply to Saying 'I don't know' too much, posted by MusicLuv on December 17, 2008, at 13:09:07
Hi, MusicLuv and welcome!!
I am also a writer (my memoir and poetry website with 15,200 hits so far).....
Yes, i would write down things you want/need to talk about. Also, it is a therapists job to help you figure out your feelings and thoughts......
Hugs, Sassy
Posted by muffled on December 17, 2008, at 16:08:36
In reply to Saying 'I don't know' too much, posted by MusicLuv on December 17, 2008, at 13:09:07
I don't know EITHER!!!!
LOL!
I say it alot myself.
Good question!
Welcome,
Muffled
Posted by MusicLuv on December 17, 2008, at 18:04:31
In reply to Re: Saying 'I don't know' too much » MusicLuv, posted by sassyfrancesca on December 17, 2008, at 15:39:30
Hi Sassy,
Congrats on the website success! I will definitely start to write more in therapy. I really think this will help. I'll tell my therapist to try to help me out a little more too. I don't think she knows how much I'm struggling yet, but she will!
MusicLuv
Posted by MusicLuv on December 17, 2008, at 18:05:39
In reply to Re: Saying 'I don't know' too much, posted by muffled on December 17, 2008, at 16:08:36
Hi Muffled,
Glad you can relate! :)
Hopefully we can both figure it out..
MusicLuv
Posted by obsidian on December 18, 2008, at 21:24:24
In reply to Re: Saying 'I don't know' too much.. Muffled, posted by MusicLuv on December 17, 2008, at 18:05:39
I used to have a really hard time talking, and I still suck it at times
about the writing thing...
I've done it before
there's a few ways to use it
you can write your T
you can use journaling and share some
you can write about the session as you experienced it after the fact and then share that-this one might speak more to the relationship and the things you're especially anxious talking about
I suspect there's a lot behind the "I don't know's"and if you like images, there's always art
if you don't like drawing/painting there's collage
good luck,
sid
Posted by Poet on December 19, 2008, at 15:21:57
In reply to Saying 'I don't know' too much, posted by MusicLuv on December 17, 2008, at 13:09:07
Hi Musicluv,
Welcome to babble. My T has made "come on" gestures and "casting a rod & reel gesture" and said "I feel like I'm fishing for information" in response to my I don't knows.
I used to stare at my shoes through most sessions so I am getting better at contributing though I don't know is a convenient way to either avoid something I don't want to talk about or just can't talk about. It helps me if I say I don't know, but maybe... the maybe is a qualifier, I'm trying to say something, but want an out if I am wrong.
Maybe using maybe will help you, too.
Poet
Posted by Kath on December 19, 2008, at 20:19:25
In reply to Re: Saying 'I don't know' too much » MusicLuv, posted by sassyfrancesca on December 17, 2008, at 15:39:30
Do you feel like giving it?
If not, do you feel like babblemailing it to moi?
hugs, Kath
if not, that's okay too :-)
Posted by Kath on December 19, 2008, at 20:22:09
In reply to Saying 'I don't know' too much, posted by MusicLuv on December 17, 2008, at 13:09:07
Hi & Welcome!
I feel protective towards you in hearing that T may have rolled eyes!
You've received some great suggestions here.
Best of luck. Maybe you can let us know how it goes?
:-) Kath
Posted by MusicLuv on December 19, 2008, at 23:02:31
In reply to Re: Saying 'I don't know' too much.. Muffled » MusicLuv, posted by obsidian on December 18, 2008, at 21:24:24
Hi Sid,
I'm sorry that you have a hard time talking like me... Thanks so much for the suggestions. I can't draw very well. It's a talent I've always wished I had. I will, however continue journaling, and I think writing about the session after the fact is a great idea!
Thank you again. I will follow up and let you know how it goes. I have another session tomorrow morning :)
~ MusicLuv
Posted by MusicLuv on December 19, 2008, at 23:06:58
In reply to Re: Saying 'I don't know' too much » MusicLuv, posted by Poet on December 19, 2008, at 15:21:57
Hi Poet,
Thank you for the 'maybe' suggestion. I will try that if I get stuck at my session tomorrow. I am definitely not a stranger to avoiding certain topics of conversation.
It's interesting that you say you used to stare at your shoes. I'm usually playing with my sleeves or playing with my nails.. hopefully I'll get better at contributing too. I'm still getting used to this therapy thing. It's been almost a year but I just started paying attention ;)
~ MusicLuv
Posted by MusicLuv on December 19, 2008, at 23:10:02
In reply to Re: Saying 'I don't know' too much » MusicLuv, posted by Kath on December 19, 2008, at 20:22:09
Hi Kath,
I will definitely let everyone know how it goes. Yeah my T can get a little bit of an attitude, but it doesn't bother me all too much. I'm sure it can be frustrating sitting in a room with me at times.
~ MusicLuv
Posted by Racer on December 20, 2008, at 18:45:15
In reply to Re: Saying 'I don't know' too much.. Poet, posted by MusicLuv on December 19, 2008, at 23:06:58
>
> It's interesting that you say you used to stare at your shoes. I'm usually playing with my sleeves or playing with my nails..I almost never do that.
But I bet I could name from memory every single book on every single shelf of the bookcase across the room from my psychoterrorist's chair! After all, I've been staring at them at least 50 minutes per week for three and a half years... ;-)
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