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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jouezmoi on December 1, 2008, at 19:36:09
.. and she only told me today that my next session will be my last. I don't know how I feel. I sorta knew it was coming, but I thought that because she didn't bring it up before, maybe it wasn't going to happen. Now it is. When I asked her before about who I would go to instead, she said my old T (the same one that referreed me to her .. or was it me, who asked him for a referral to someone else). I don't know what to do. I didn't plan for this termination. Then she asked me how I felt about my mother dying. My father died this year. My mother is all I have left, and my T is like my surrogate mother. She fills the gaps. I don't know how I feel.
Posted by olivepit on December 1, 2008, at 21:00:37
In reply to My T is retiring ... this month, posted by jouezmoi on December 1, 2008, at 19:36:09
If I wasn't given warning, like 6 months that my t was leaving, and then periodic mentions about it, I would be very angry and upset. I don't think its fair to say that you may retire and then not discuss it again and then tell you you have one more session, 3 or 4 sessions warning seems appropriate. Really sorry to hear :(.
Posted by Recently on December 1, 2008, at 23:22:59
In reply to My T is retiring ... this month, posted by jouezmoi on December 1, 2008, at 19:36:09
I'm sorry to hear this. It's very inconsiderate of you T to drop this on you so suddenly. Unless there is some extenuating circumstance that has sped up the retirement, there is really no excuse.
Posted by Dinah on December 2, 2008, at 7:46:57
In reply to My T is retiring ... this month, posted by jouezmoi on December 1, 2008, at 19:36:09
It's horrible that she gave you so little notice. It would feel so disrespectful of the therapy to me to mention it so soon before leaving.
Have you talked to her about her choice to do this so abruptly?
Posted by Phillipa on December 2, 2008, at 13:00:16
In reply to Re: My T is retiring ... this month » jouezmoi, posted by Dinah on December 2, 2008, at 7:46:57
Gee that is awfully quick when the next appointment? Need to discuss reasons. Love Phillipa
Posted by Wittgensteinz on December 2, 2008, at 13:33:59
In reply to My T is retiring ... this month, posted by jouezmoi on December 1, 2008, at 19:36:09
I'm so sorry, this is an awful blow. Actually I'm a bit lost for words.
Can I ask how long you have been seeing your current therapist? Termination is a very important part of therapy - it's a process and takes time in itself. Telling in the penultimate session that she's retiring gives you little to no way of processing what's happening. Is there any way you can ask for her to give you some extra sessions in the meantime or to continue treating you for a few months longer in order to help you through the separation and termination. It just doesn't seem fair otherwise. We trust our therapists, and a bit part of that trust is that they won't leave us.
I'm very sorry for you. I hope you can come to come kind of alternative. It also seems odd that she assumes you will return to your previous therapist - almost like she has made that decision for you. Does she realise how important she is to you - that she is like a surrogate mother? If not, can you express this somehow?
Witti
Posted by LadyBug on December 2, 2008, at 13:44:52
In reply to Re: My T is retiring ... this month, posted by Wittgensteinz on December 2, 2008, at 13:33:59
This isn't fair to you at all. My T is retiring this month as well. She sent me a letter in the mail in July to notify me of her up coming retirement. I was taking a therapy break at the time but at least she told me far enough in advance so that I could plan.
I'd be pretty upset if I were you. It would be one thing is she was taking some time off, but retirement? How long have you been seeing her? Have you had a good connection with her?
I wish you well.
Posted by jouezmoi on December 2, 2008, at 16:18:25
In reply to Re: My T is retiring ... this month, posted by LadyBug on December 2, 2008, at 13:44:52
She mentioned it casually back in February (that she was thinking about it), then in May, she told me that spring semester was her last lecturing at the university, and it didn't come up since. I started seeing her last November (my pdoc-T referred me to her at my request to transfer to someone else .... I was having intense transference and opted to see another T, and just see him for meds when required). Then she mentioned it again in July and I asked her then who I should see and she said I should go back to my pdoc-T, but I didn't want to. And it never came up again until now. We never seriously discussed it. I think she didn't think I would still be there, because once I told her that I felt she was trying to get rid of me. Now I think she was.
I see her again in two weeks and that would be the last time. She is 65 and she is tired, she says.
Posted by rskontos on December 2, 2008, at 16:43:11
In reply to Re: My T is retiring ... this month, posted by jouezmoi on December 2, 2008, at 16:18:25
No matter how tired she is this is crappy of her. And even if she needed to "get rid of you" there are professional ways to do so, she needed to be a professional and refer you to someone and begin the termination side of it. A gentle letdown in therapy is necessary.
I think is time for a Poet's cyber-slap. She is a bad t, and shame on her. tsk tsk. (this is me shaking my finger at her)
I am so sorry she is putting you through this.
rsk
Posted by jouezmoi on December 2, 2008, at 17:32:17
In reply to Re: My T is retiring ... this month » jouezmoi, posted by rskontos on December 2, 2008, at 16:43:11
Right now I feel dazed, like I can't believe this is really happening. Now I have to find another T. but who? This is a small city. I think I've seen them all over the decades. I'll think of something. Maybe I don't need therapy anymore. Maybe I can stand up on my own now ... and just take meds when needed. I dunno.
Thanks all for your feedback and support.
Posted by onceupon on December 2, 2008, at 22:12:40
In reply to My T is retiring ... this month, posted by jouezmoi on December 1, 2008, at 19:36:09
I haven't had time to read the follow-ups to the thread and so apologize if I'm just reiterating others' thoughts, but I'm sorry that this is happening to you. And it sounds not just inconsiderate, but bordering on unethical.
Do you feel comfortable sharing your reaction to her announcement with her?
Posted by jouezmoi on December 3, 2008, at 4:43:01
In reply to Re: My T is retiring ... this month, posted by onceupon on December 2, 2008, at 22:12:40
Onceupon, I think I will. I think I will call her and tell her, except she told me she was tired taking calls from clients. She is very o0en with me, but only just realised that I remember everything she says, so maybe she should filter more.
She has tried with me and I guess I was even thinking about terminating, but I didn't expect it to go like this.
Posted by onceupon on December 4, 2008, at 9:13:34
In reply to Re: My T is retiring ... this month, posted by jouezmoi on December 3, 2008, at 4:43:01
Wow, if she's tired of taking calls from clients, perhaps it really is time to retire. When you say "she has tried with me" what are you referring to?
It sounds like you maybe feel unable to get the help from her that you need.
I hope you're able to take good care of yourself no matter what you decide to tell her.
This is the end of the thread.
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