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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Amanda29 on September 29, 2008, at 18:30:38
I have no one. I don't have any friends, and my family and I don't get along. My sister who is 2 years older than me, she and I started to do dinners one night a week and I asked her if she would like to go tonight and she flipped out on me and told me that we dont always have to go eat. and that she had made plans with her friend...(which is fine)...but this happens all the time. I realize that there is other stuff to do besides eat..but listen to this...
She hates going out to eat with me
she hates going to the movies with me
she hates going shoppingHer idea of fun is sitting at home eating dinner that she makes ..usually chicken and rice...and orange juice or water...and that is it.
I am trying to GET OUT and do things. She isnt helping matters...and yet if one of her friends wants to do something she is all about it.
She accused me of guilting her for not wanting to do something with me and all I told her was it was obvious to me that the one night a week dinners didnt mean as much to her as they did to me...and that i wasnt going to aruge with her because it just wasnt worth it.
Im just so disappointed. She wants me to do other things and I try but SHE WONT DO THEM WITH ME..and I am sorry but I am not going to go to her townhouse and sit on the couch and eat chicken and water...that is not my idea of a good time.
Posted by lemonaide on September 29, 2008, at 19:17:37
In reply to I HAVE NO ONE., posted by Amanda29 on September 29, 2008, at 18:30:38
Well you have yourself, the most important thing, really. Learning to love being with yourself is a good thing. But yeah, you have to have social stuff too I believe.
Hanging out with your sister doesn't sound like much fun to me either. If money was tight I can see having a cheaper way to connect.
It sounds like you need to get out yourself and try to meet the people who are in the places you want to go. Do you have any hobbies that you enjoy to do?
Posted by Amanda29 on September 29, 2008, at 19:20:50
In reply to Re: I HAVE NO ONE. » Amanda29, posted by lemonaide on September 29, 2008, at 19:17:37
See, I am kind of in a rut right now because I am too scared to go out by myself and met people...My T has been trying to get me to try new things and I cannot do them. I am not strong enough. So, I am almost like a hermit..which isnt too good if you ask me. I told my T I am afraid to grow and I am afraid to live...so yeah..IM doing really well right now... :(
Posted by lemonaide on September 29, 2008, at 19:30:14
In reply to Re: I HAVE NO ONE. » lemonaide, posted by Amanda29 on September 29, 2008, at 19:20:50
Yeah, I guess it sounds easier than done, meeting people is hard I think for a lot of people.
The reason I brought up a hobby because sometimes that makes it easier to meet talk to someone because of the common interests.
One good thing is volunteering, it is a wonderful way to meet people, usually nice people, and makes you feel good to help others.
Are you married or have kids? How old are you?
Posted by Amanda29 on September 29, 2008, at 19:35:02
In reply to Re: I HAVE NO ONE., posted by lemonaide on September 29, 2008, at 19:30:14
Im 29...and single. No kids...My life is hard to explain..Im just having a really hard time right now. I have never felt as "stuck" as I do now. I used to be really involved with my church and the choir...but the church split and it messed me up..and no I am not even going to church anymore. That was my one love was singing.
I just wish I was one of those people who didnt have to try hard at life to be happy and successful. My sister, all she has to do is stand still and everything good happens to her. (at least this is how it seems to me) and the bad stuff that has happened...it turns out good.
With me...it is all bad.
Posted by Looney Tunes on September 29, 2008, at 19:46:31
In reply to Re: I HAVE NO ONE. » Amanda29, posted by lemonaide on September 29, 2008, at 19:17:37
Hey. Sorry you are feeling down.
I grew up a foster kid and I literally have NO-ONE. It is really hard and many days I want to die.
But you know what helps, finding someplace to volunteer. Volunteering is the only thing that has kept me alive. When you volunteer, people that you are working with are really nice. They don't care what you look like, where you grew up, what problems you have, etc....they are just happy to have you help out.Do you like animals? You could volunteer at a shelter. or kids? Become a Big Brother/Big Sister or a CASA for foster kids.
Or work at a soup kitchen.Trust me. People will be so happy to meet you.
Or the other option is to join a support group. I used to belong to DBSA (Depression/Bipolar Support Alliance) and I actually met several friends that I used to go out with and even just hang out with. There are TONS of people at support meetings.
Posted by Amanda29 on September 29, 2008, at 19:52:02
In reply to Re: I HAVE NO ONE., posted by Looney Tunes on September 29, 2008, at 19:46:31
I was adopted when I was a day old and so I dont know my birth mother, I am not biologically related to my parents or sister and a lot of times I Can step back from my family and look at them and think...this is what it would be like if I wasnt even here...if I had never been adopted. And I think...they wouldnt even miss me.
Whenever I get angry...I tell myself and my T that in reality I am completely alone because I dont know my biological family, I am not related to the family I am with now...If I hadnt been adopted I wouldnt have my family or my friends...so technically...I have NO ONE.
I could volunteer...I just literally have a fear of going out and doing things...I am scared to leave my house...the only times I leave my house are to go to work ..which is like 2 mins from my house, or to go to the store or to get gas...otherwise I am at home, on my bed, watching Tv and eating. I am such a loser.
I dont want my T to give up helping me because I do want help...Im just scared.
Posted by meme3842 on September 29, 2008, at 21:32:09
In reply to Re: I HAVE NO ONE. » Looney Tunes, posted by Amanda29 on September 29, 2008, at 19:52:02
I'm kind of responding to Looney Tunes' post. I have a fear of meeting new people as well, but a while back, I figured that it would be a good idea to start volunteering. Everyone I've talked to seemed to say it helps them feel better or get a perspective on life. So I realized that if I was going to volunteer, because it's painful to meet people, It was going to have to be something I believed in. So I found that. Then I waited another six months before I emailed the place where I am volunteering (I had to work up the nerve). I didn't put stress on it. But I am glad that I finally emailed them. I am really enjoying it, surprisingly. I've met a few people, and the are really nice. I don't see myself becoming best friends with them, but it's nice to have a few more people in my life. Perhaps something like that would help you feel less alone. It doesn't take away the lonely feelings in an instant, which we all want, right? But it helps just a little.
This is the end of the thread.
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