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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on September 5, 2008, at 15:01:10
i'm dissociating all over the place.
i'm spacing out, fuzzy, go in and out.
i just can't take it
i want to call T and tell her i hate her...but i don't.such a sh@t day and i have to go out of town tonight to see in-laws, what am i going to do.
Posted by Phillipa on September 5, 2008, at 16:19:20
In reply to dissociating all over, posted by B2chica on September 5, 2008, at 15:01:10
B2chica do you have any meds that can help the dissassociating? I feel for you. Love Phillipa
Posted by rskontos on September 5, 2008, at 17:21:37
In reply to dissociating all over, posted by B2chica on September 5, 2008, at 15:01:10
Hey sweetie,
do you know what triggered it? I don't always know but that is usually what my T and I talk about.
I bmailed you. I hope you are ok over the weekend.
rsk
Posted by lucie lu on September 5, 2008, at 19:11:09
In reply to dissociating all over, posted by B2chica on September 5, 2008, at 15:01:10
B2chica,
I came home now and saw your posts. You sounded so unhappy and I feel bad that I wasn't here sooner for you. I really care about you, b2c. You are special to me.
You probably won't remember but you were one of the first people who posted me when I first came to Babble. You thought so carefully about my problem, and you were so encouraging and supportive! I remember being afraid to go and talk to my T about my problem, and you posted to me just before I left for the session, wishing me LUUUUUUUCCCKK! You thought I wouldnt see your note of encouragement before my session but I did. You finished your post by saying to me so carry on my little lucie lu! And, b2c, I carried that little thing you said into the session like my lucky charm. And the session went so well, helped so much by your encouragement! You were so helpful and I felt very grateful to you.
And shortly after that, I liked something you said so much I wrote I luv u b2chica! And you wrote, luv ya right back! It made me feel very good about being on Babble, and I didnt feel so much of a newbie because of you.
B2chica, you made me feel so happy and welcome here and I always think about it, that beginning. You are a really terrific women, really warm and funny and very supportive the kind of person anyone would want for a friend. And I do want you to be my friend. Please?
You are VERY SPECIAL to me, b2chica. So please, please be good to yourself. Give yourself some really big hugs because I cant reach :from here  even though I wish I could.
Hugs, hugs, lots of hugs you are terrific, so dont forget it!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((( b2chica )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Luv ya b2chica,
Luc
Posted by JayMac on September 6, 2008, at 0:34:24
In reply to dissociating all over, posted by B2chica on September 5, 2008, at 15:01:10
> i'm dissociating all over the place.
> i'm spacing out, fuzzy, go in and out.
> i just can't take it
> i want to call T and tell her i hate her...but i don't.Hugs to you B2chica!!
> such a sh@t day and i have to go out of town tonight to see in-laws, what am i going to do.
More hugs to you!
Take care of yourself. I recommend you schedule time to *be* with yourself. Even if it's only 2 minutes here, and 6 minutes there, it's much better than nothing.Blessings,
Jay
Posted by rubenstein on September 6, 2008, at 16:41:35
In reply to dissociating all over, posted by B2chica on September 5, 2008, at 15:01:10
I am sorrt B2Chica. I also have been doing this fairly regularily. I thought it was protetcting me from some emotions I didn't want to feel but it just ended into a four hour crying spell. I am sending you a hug
rachel> i'm dissociating all over the place.
> i'm spacing out, fuzzy, go in and out.
> i just can't take it
> i want to call T and tell her i hate her...but i don't.
>
> such a sh@t day and i have to go out of town tonight to see in-laws, what am i going to do.
>
Posted by B2chica on September 8, 2008, at 8:54:31
In reply to i luv u, b2chica! » B2chica, posted by lucie lu on September 5, 2008, at 19:11:09
i really don't think you know how much these words meant to me today.
last week may have triggered my depression back, and my meds are pooping out again.
my suicidal thoughts are back.
and last night.
i...i almost took a handful of pills.i came in this morning not expecting anything.
and i'm in tears cuz i forgot how good this place is. and how much it makes me feel like maybe i'm ok. and i'm not ruined.
and i have to remember that maybe it's not me that wants to die, that maybe it's one of my inner ones.lucie lu, i just dont think you know what you've done with your words today.
thank you.
ii luv u too.b2c.
Posted by B2chica on September 8, 2008, at 8:57:53
In reply to Re: dissociating all over/sorry I was MIA » B2chica, posted by rskontos on September 5, 2008, at 17:21:37
phillapa, no, no meds help with that kind of dissociating. unfortunately.
sometimes sleeping it off does. sometimes not. depends.ya, i know what triggered it.
i had that flashback picture i was trying to figure out and finally brought it up with T.
i was talking about it pretty good but finally switched to littleone, then middle one, then littleone again quickly. hard to come out.
i had talked a little about picture last thursday and left T office in bad shape, got worse, wanted to call and didnt, i didn't think she was in on friday's. told T that she said that she saw clients thursdays and fridays and could always call her.
well friday i called her, and when i went outside (was at work) to talk with her i felt it coming on and switched right here out by the parking lot, there were people walking near and littleone was freaking out.after that i was just a dissociated mess. out of it. i don't think i was completely "put away".
*******************************
i know its hard for some of you to post, cuz i post during the day when i'm here at work.
sorry. i was in such bad shape. i know you care. i was hurt sad angry...all of it and didn't know what to do with all those emotions.********************************
i try to get some 'me' time before i pick up me IRL littleone but it's been gloomy, cloudy and cold here last few days, i think that's making my depression worse also.RSK, Rachel, jaymac all you
thank you for the support (and hugs)
Posted by lucie lu on September 8, 2008, at 9:53:55
In reply to Re: i luv u, b2chica! » lucie lu, posted by B2chica on September 8, 2008, at 8:54:31
b2c,I am so glad to hear from you. I know what you mean about Babble. It is hard to grasp that behind these screen names and anonymous posts there are real people, and that they can really care very much about you. People may alter their online identities but true selves come through anyway, so caring is real. I hope you continue to hold on and get better - you're right that it is only part of any of us who is self-destructive; there are many other parts inside who want to live, heal, grow, and thrive. Listen to those parts and the other voice(s) will eventually quiet down. I am looking forward to joking with you again about high-kicks and giving 'em h*ll - hi-yah!!
Much love, Lucie
Bmail me if you want to.
Posted by Phillipa on September 8, 2008, at 19:29:29
In reply to Re: i luv u, b2chica!, posted by lucie lu on September 8, 2008, at 9:53:55
B2chica and you managed to make it through the weekend that is something great and you should be proud. I'm learning slowly about this dissasociating so bear with me if I say something inappropriate. And you can always babble me also. You must have been very scared. Love Phillipa
Posted by bimini on September 12, 2008, at 13:09:20
In reply to dissociating all over, posted by B2chica on September 5, 2008, at 15:01:10
big cyberhug!!!
I know that place, I go there all the time. Trigger? Yeah being awake for me. Someone mentioned taking time to be YOU, so true. Be good to yourself, your brain is telling you to slow down and rest.I do better when I give myself breaks and switch focus, like after 1/2 hour or so. Like too much water trying to flow down a little drain. When water pours in faster than it can pour out the 'bucket' overflows.
bimini
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