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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TherapyGirl on August 7, 2008, at 21:40:44
My T just told me tonight that we will meet next week and then she is on leave for 6-8 weeks. There is a family crisis she has to deal with. I feel horrible for her and a little panicked for myself. I'm hoping it will be okay. It will be if my brain chemistry doesn't freak out and if nothing bad happens.
I have a little figurine she gave me years ago of a mama bear hugging a baby bear. I'm thinking about taking that next week and trading it for the figurine I gave her last year for our 22nd anniversary. Does that sound too corny?
It's also killing me that I can't do anything to help her during this crisis. And I know I can't, but I've been trying to think of gift cards or something I could do. Any ideas or should I just leave it at trading presents?
Posted by Dinah on August 8, 2008, at 0:54:10
In reply to Therapist on Leave, posted by TherapyGirl on August 7, 2008, at 21:40:44
((((TherapyGirl))))
((((TherapyGirl's Therapist))))
I have no ideas I fear.I know how complicated those emotions can get when we mix genuine concern for our therapists with genuine concern for ourselves. Is someone going to be available for her patients? You don't need to see them, but sometimes it helps to know someone's around.
Posted by TherapyGirl on August 8, 2008, at 6:30:12
In reply to Re: Therapist on Leave » TherapyGirl, posted by Dinah on August 8, 2008, at 0:54:10
Thanks, Dinah. You are right about the complicated mix of emotions. I don't know if someone would be available, although she is part of a larger practice, so there probably would be if I asked. But I'm going to try to put my 23 years of therapy to good use and be low maintenance about this. I'll let you know how it goes.
Posted by Dinah on August 8, 2008, at 8:34:51
In reply to Re: Therapist on Leave » Dinah, posted by TherapyGirl on August 8, 2008, at 6:30:12
I know that I'm only at thirteen years, but I don't think I could be low maintenance. Maybe those ten extra years help with that.
You're a better person than I, TherapyGirl.
Posted by TherapyGirl on August 8, 2008, at 16:53:30
In reply to Re: Therapist on Leave » TherapyGirl, posted by Dinah on August 8, 2008, at 8:34:51
I doubt that (that I'm a better person than you). I'm not sure I can pull it off, but I'm going to try. The situation with her family is very serious and very sad and it will take all of her energy.
She was out 6 weeks when I was in my 20s, 2-3 years after I started seeing her. I thought I was going to die. So I keep reminding myself what better shape I am in emotionally now than I was then. I really had NO tools back then.
Posted by Dinah on August 8, 2008, at 17:15:18
In reply to Re: Therapist on Leave » Dinah, posted by TherapyGirl on August 8, 2008, at 16:53:30
((((TherapyGirl's Therapist))))
I know how important she is to you. So by proxy she's important to babble too. I'll be thinking of her, and of you.
Posted by antigua3 on August 9, 2008, at 11:58:39
In reply to Therapist on Leave, posted by TherapyGirl on August 7, 2008, at 21:40:44
I understand how you feel. One night many years ago, a friend of my therapist's called to say that my T was suspending therapy for the "forseeable future" and she would be in touch about future therapy. She didn't tell me why or anything, and I was devastated. I think I had only been seeing her a couple of years at this point.
I ruminated and worried, and two days later my husband read my T's husband's obituary in the paper. I was so shocked.
I ran into my T about a month later at a school event and once she saw me, she grabbed me and pulled me into another room and explained how sorry she was that she hadn't been in touch. That helped a lot and I had a chance to express my sincerest condolences.
We resumed therapy about eight weeks after this happened, maybe sooner but I don't think so. It was a big rupture to our relationship, but mostly I was glad to find out that SHE was o.k. I was sorry about her husband, of course, but selfishly I was glad it wasn't her. She freely discussed what happened and in retrospect she was right to take the time. If she had come back too early, she wouldn't have been herself and that would have caused additional problems.
I don't remember it taking long to rupture the break. Maybe it did, and I've suppressed it.
But it was a huge scare, I'll tell you that.
So trust that your T is doing the right thing for her patients. And I pray that things will work out.
all my best,
antigua
Posted by TherapyGirl on August 9, 2008, at 16:38:47
In reply to Re: Therapist on Leave » TherapyGirl, posted by antigua3 on August 9, 2008, at 11:58:39
Thanks, Antigua. It helps to hear about your situation and that you both got through it. I trust our connection more now than I used to, so I'm hoping that will help me pass the time without her.
Posted by TherapyGirl on August 13, 2008, at 18:28:56
In reply to Therapist on Leave, posted by TherapyGirl on August 7, 2008, at 21:40:44
I had a pretty big anxiety attack the night before last. I leave right after my session tomorrow for a business trip. I can't figure out if that will be easier or harder.
I'm pretty sure I can get through this, but it scares me to death to not be able to even have phone contact with her. And I'm worried about her.
I got her a spa gift card. I'm going to tell her that even if she doesn't use it, I'd like her to hang on to it for the next few months so that when she's the most drained, she can imagine someone else taking care of her. Does that seem stupid to you guys?
I'm also going to take my bear figurine that she gave me several years ago and trade it for something from her office. I was originally going to trade it for the thing I gave her last year, but I've decided I'd rather have this figure of an older woman sitting with a book in her lap. She's had it in her office for years and years and I so associate it with her. We've never done anything like that before and I have no idea what she'll say. But I hope she'll agree to give it to me. Thanks to Daisy for that idea.
Wish me luck that I'm strong enough to do this without being a big baby. Adult me is okay, but the 3-year-old inside is completely freaked out. Again.
Posted by Dinah on August 13, 2008, at 19:03:21
In reply to Re: Tomorrow is last session for 6-8 weeks, posted by TherapyGirl on August 13, 2008, at 18:28:56
I hope it goes well, Therapygirl. My thoughts are with you. Between this and her upcoming retirement, I can imagine how difficult this is for you.
Posted by antigua3 on August 13, 2008, at 20:17:38
In reply to Re: Tomorrow is last session for 6-8 weeks, posted by TherapyGirl on August 13, 2008, at 18:28:56
I hope everything goes well. You seem to have thought out good ways to help you get through this terrible time.
You WILL be ok on your business trip. Keep saying that and remember the wonderful things your T has told you before to get through these times.
antigua
Posted by TherapyGirl on August 14, 2008, at 21:02:27
In reply to Re: Tomorrow is last session for 6-8 weeks, posted by TherapyGirl on August 13, 2008, at 18:28:56
I'm on my business trip, but wanted to let you both know that the session went well, considering. I think I said what I needed to say and got what I needed to get. I think I was able to give her a little teeny bit of what she's given me back, too, so that felt good.
So far, so good, but I haven't tried to sleep yet.
Thanks to both of you for the support around this.
Posted by Dinah on August 14, 2008, at 22:06:05
In reply to Re: Tomorrow is last session for 6-8 weeks, posted by TherapyGirl on August 14, 2008, at 21:02:27
(((TherapyGirl)))
This is the end of the thread.
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