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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by stellabystarlight on August 2, 2008, at 17:52:30
I feel so bad for fellow posters who are in pain because they have to say goodbye to their therapists. Sounds so painful.
I'm starting to really wonder if it's such a great idea to see a therapist. It's true I have gotten more in touch with all of my issues, but now I'm strongly attached to him.
Now I have a whole new set of problems; pain from transference, separation anxiety everytime I leave his office, fear of abandonment by him due to termination, retirement, etc. So painful...more painful than my issues.
Reading about other posters having to deal with pain from their T's retirement or termination due to various circumstances makes me wonder if it's worth it. Is this what we're all looking at after spending a ton of money and time on years of therapy?
Is therapy just a "double-edged sword"? How do I accept this and continue on? Maybe I just don't have the "right attitude". Is there a "right attitude" towards therapy?
Maybe I should just take the money spent on therapy and vent to a masseuse while I'm getting a satisfying massage.
My apology to anyone who is truly benefitting from therapy...I've been feeling hopeless lately.
Posted by Dinah on August 2, 2008, at 18:06:00
In reply to Is therapy a 'double-edged sword'?, posted by stellabystarlight on August 2, 2008, at 17:52:30
Yes, I think it is.
Look at me. My therapist's issues are having a major impact on my mental health. He tried to keep them out of the therapy room, but that hurt me. He tries to be more open in a limited and appropriate sort of way, and it still causes trouble. Although much less trouble than when he pretended he was ok.
I lost him for a while, and it was devastating.
For the most part, though, I'm more stable than I've been at any time in my life after the age of ten or so. I'm hopefully being a good enough mom to my own son, so that maybe it will all stop with me.
Anything so powerful that it can do substantial good also has the capacity to do substantial harm. Even if they don't mean to, they can and will hurt us. I think everyone has to decide for themselves if the benefits outweigh the costs. All the costs.
Sometimes I wonder if I'd do it all over again, if I knew then what I know now. I wonder that about many things in my life. :) My marriage, my dogs, my career choice. The answer may change from day to day.
Of course there are a whole range of experiences. Some people don't find therapy a powerful enough tool to cause either harm or good. Some people find it a more limited tool that does a goodly amount of good, and not much bad at all. Some people have found the wrong therapist and found only harm. There appear to be some case studies around where a client has found only good. I wonder if it ever occurs outside of case studies?
Posted by Lemonaide on August 2, 2008, at 22:11:18
In reply to Is therapy a 'double-edged sword'?, posted by stellabystarlight on August 2, 2008, at 17:52:30
I think it has the potential to be. I am one of those who had a terrible termination or I actually fired him after 2 1/2 years. I think it is very important to have a T who is well, who can take care of their ego, who knows their own faults and works on them, and is open to new ideas or methods of therapy.
My T has been practicing over 40 years, he has been though several different methods that were "the way of the time", but he is always willing to improve on the knowledge he knows. He draws upon all of the methods he knows of, and in turn he is a very effective T.
I think it also matter just how experienced your T is, and the severity of problems you need help with. I know some may disagree, but I think in cases like mine, a beginning T would not be as helpful as someone experience at being a T.
I don't know how hard termination will be with my T, but I do know that since I have a T who seems to take care of his own issues, I spend less time on trying to take care of him, or judge what and how he does things. Now I think of me, and what I need to do. My T is just my helper, I am the main subject therapy, not my T. With my current T of one year now (yippee, hit the one year mark this week), I have done a lot more work and progress, because I spent a lot less time thinking about my T.
I think in ways, when we focus on our T's and what and how they do things, it is a way to change the focus off ourselves, almost like a defensive mechanism.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on August 5, 2008, at 12:23:20
In reply to Re: Is therapy a 'double-edged sword'? » stellabystarlight, posted by Lemonaide on August 2, 2008, at 22:11:18
For me...yes...perhaps for another reason; I fell in love with him 4 years ago....
He had said once, he wondered if I was too attached; well that is just the nature of the beast; it is what happens when 2 people share years together in an intimate setting.
Sassy
This is the end of the thread.
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