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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Lemonaide on July 30, 2008, at 12:12:11
My T says I would be a good one, but I don't know about that. If I am so messed up, have so much anger, how can I be a good T? There are so many messed up T's messing up patients out there, I don't want to be one of them. Who am I trying to kid?
Posted by LadyBug on July 30, 2008, at 12:40:48
In reply to I am thinking of not being a T, posted by Lemonaide on July 30, 2008, at 12:12:11
Ya know, I've always heard that people that go in to that field of work have had their own issues to deal with in first place. I used to think about becoming a T myself, because I wanted to have that strong connection to patient's that my T and I had with each other.
I agree with what you are thinking...........they mess us up, or should I say, we are already messed up and they complicate the mess!!!!!!!
My T is on my sh** list anyway. Don't know if she'll be on there for the rest of my life or not.
Posted by Phillipa on July 30, 2008, at 13:18:01
In reply to Re: I am thinking of not being a T » Lemonaide, posted by LadyBug on July 30, 2008, at 12:40:48
Same with doctors and nurses. very complicated. In some ways it's some ways bad. Think it sucked the life out of me giving and giving to try and show my Mother I didn't make her sick. So now I'm sick. Oh a hard decision. Love Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on July 30, 2008, at 13:37:42
In reply to I am thinking of not being a T, posted by Lemonaide on July 30, 2008, at 12:12:11
I think therapy, on either side, can be an inordinately triggering thing. Transference/countertransference, strong feelings, anger, love. All those things get played out over and over.
I imagine it's got to be tough for a therapist to be on the receiving end of anger, or rejection, or even idealization. My therapist and I have talked about it on occasion. They aren't as invulnerable as we might like to think.
I think it's important for anyone who considers being a therapist to get their own issues under control. Your clients will treat you unfairly. They'll be angry with you unfairly. They may yell and curse. They may stop therapy suddenly and abruptly, even when you think that you have a good relationship with them. Rejection is not at all an uncommon thing. A client's job is to play out all their problems with the therapist so that the therapist can help with them.
I think someone who confronts and masters their own demons can make a wonderful therapist. But a therapist who is still confronting their own demons may be unduly triggered by clients. The issues my therapist faces do affect me. No doubt. Some of them have been unresolved issues from his past, and we've managed to work through them. Some of them are his here and now issues. So far, we've managed to work through those as well. But most clients aren't like me.
Your history is not your destiny. You say that your anger is a problem for you at the moment. A therapist with anger issues could be a problem for a client. But if you work on those issues, and get them under control, it would be completely different. I'm not saying that therapists have to be perfect. But they do need to be reasonably consistent for their clients. At this time, do you think you can be enough in control of your anger to not respond to provocation from clients? If not, there may well be a time when you can.
The important thing is to be honest with yourself. Honest but not unkind. I'm so impressed with you, Lemonaide. You've worked hard on confronting things in therapy with this new therapist. There are a heck of a lot of people out there who are not self reflective enough, and not brave enough, to face themselves.
I toyed with the idea of going back to school to be a counselor. But I know myself well enough to know that I couldn't deal with the emotions of other people. I'm too easily overstimulated. Anger would scare me. Grief would scare me. Most things would scare me. Am I messed up? Maybe. I prefer to think of it as knowing myself and my limitations (and my strengths).
You've been kind of hard on yourself lately. I'll bet you could think of a lot of strengths you have. If you can't do it yourself I bet we could help you, or your therapist could help you. But mightn't it be better to do it yourself?
Posted by Dinah on July 30, 2008, at 14:38:40
In reply to Re: I am thinking of not being a T, posted by Dinah on July 30, 2008, at 13:37:42
Sigh. I'm annoying myself at the moment. I hope I'm not annoying you too much.
Posted by Lemonaide on July 30, 2008, at 15:05:55
In reply to Re: I am thinking of not being a T, posted by Dinah on July 30, 2008, at 14:38:40
never, I appreciate you comments, well get back to ya on it, gotta pick up hubby at the airport.
Posted by healing928 on July 30, 2008, at 15:10:12
In reply to I am thinking of not being a T, posted by Lemonaide on July 30, 2008, at 12:12:11
Lemonaide,
I am dealing with the same decision. I will graduate with my undergrad in a year, and I am considering grad school for counseling or my MSW. I really want to help others who are struggling, and make a positive impact in the mental health system, but if I don't get my life back on track this year it will not happen. I don't want to go into the field if I know I will not make a positive difference.
I will not be an effective t if i am in this state, and won't be able to draw boundaries with my clients who have attachment and transference issues. Plus being in an unhealthy state is asking for counter-transference.
I think we have to work on ourselves before we can help others. My t has taught me that helping others can help us at the same time. So maybe we need to start doing something less intense like volunteering or something.
Just my thoughts.
healing
Posted by Lemonaide on July 30, 2008, at 18:59:09
In reply to I am thinking of not being a T, posted by Lemonaide on July 30, 2008, at 12:12:11
Is it okay for me to keep this subject on hold for awhile. I have so many things going on right now, I can't think straight anyway.
Posted by Amanda29 on August 3, 2008, at 20:15:15
In reply to Re: I am thinking of not being a T, posted by Dinah on July 30, 2008, at 13:37:42
I wanted to be a counselor so badly and I went to school for it for a year and did really well. But, I have so many differenet disorders and issues that I came to realize that I probably wouldnt make a good counselor. I am really unstable, I have anger issues, I get overly emotional...I thought I would make a good counselor because I am a good listener, I know a lot about the different disorders because I research everthing...(i have been diagnosed with everything and I am so fascinated with it I have wanted to learn everything I can). BUT, I feel that the counselor/therapist should be "healthier" than the patient...and I am not healthy. I might be wrong about that, but that is my opinion.
I hate feeling like I cannot be a counselor...if I was just dealing wiht depression or anxiety I might be ok with it..but there are too many other factors involved.
This is the end of the thread.
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