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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Rigby on June 27, 2008, at 13:12:22
Hello All,
I was in therapy for about five years. And then stopped about 18 months ago. Since then, I've seen my therapist a few times (maybe four total.)
I saw my therapist last night and she said, "You will realy benefit from some more therapy."
I immediately thought that it was about the money but caught myself, knowing I can have a pretty jaded and sarcastic view of therapy despite of the huge benefits I've reaped from being in it.
I said that it was a lot of money ($100/week out of pocket) and does she truly feel she can be 100% objective about this assessment.
She thought for a moment and said for the most part yes. She said she doesn't need to fill up her schedule, she doesn't need the money and the only part that wasn't objective was that she enjoys seeing me.
She said to try a month and see how it goes--that I should do it because she can help me, not because I feel she thinks I should. I thought this was reasonable.
But it made me wonder: how objective can a therapist really be? I mean if it were therapy in a socialized medicine scenario it's one thing. But therapists need to make a living and I just guess I'm curious to hear what others have to say about this.
Thanks!
Posted by sassyfrancesca on June 27, 2008, at 15:42:29
In reply to Can A Therapist Really Be Objective?, posted by Rigby on June 27, 2008, at 13:12:22
The question I would ask, is how does she know you STILL need therapy?
..or that you would "benefit" from more?When you left, were the goals you were working on.....were they resolved?
Hugs, Sassy
Posted by Annierose on June 27, 2008, at 15:49:07
In reply to Can A Therapist Really Be Objective?, posted by Rigby on June 27, 2008, at 13:12:22
Think of it in this manner:
If you were the mother of a young child that struggled academically, and a teacher told you, "I think your child should see a tutor once or twice a week, it would benefit him a great deal and he'll feel more confident in school, happier, etc." You called the tutor and liked him and your child liked him too. It was a good match.
Do you think the tutor is taking advantage of you?
Probably not. The tutor, like your therapist provides a service. It's a different type of service, but they need to get paid in order to provide their service ... just like a tutor.
She is being objective. She let you know that she doesn't need to fill her schedule. She is letting you know that she knows you well and thinks she can continue to help you. It is up to you to decide whether you think you want to continue. It doesn't sound like she is putting any pressure on you. Objectively and professionally speaking ... she is offering you a suggestion.
I like how your t answered your question.
Posted by Dinah on June 27, 2008, at 17:25:53
In reply to Can A Therapist Really Be Objective?, posted by Rigby on June 27, 2008, at 13:12:22
Did she give a reason why she thought you would benefit? Does that reason seem compelling to you?
I don't know that anyone anywhere is *completely* objective. Therapists who believe in one type of therapy or another might visualize a client's problems in terms of their own training and beliefs. A therapist who doesn't believe in short term therapy might define a client's progress in such a way as to believe that therapy objectives have been met and the client is ready to leave. While a therapist who believes in long term therapy might define a client's progress and remaining work in a completely different way.
In addition to training, theory, etc., therapists are people with needs of many sorts, and tendencies of many sorts. It is possible that a client may push a therapist's buttons in such a way that they may be quick to believe that a client is ready to leave therapy. Or they may find their needs met by the client in such a way that they might have their professional judgment clouded in favor of rationalizing encouraging a client to stay. Hopefully *this* sort of bias is something that therapists scrupulously watch for. It certainly is something she has considered, if you consider that she has integrity and is competent, since you did bring it to her attention.
There are so many ways that any therapist might not be objective about anything. Does this particular aspect of her possible objectivity have special meaning for you?
I think clients have to retain some control with even the most trusted and respected therapists. Clients need to do regular evaluations themselves. In the end it doesn't matter as much why she thinks you could benefit from more therapy so much as it matters if you think you can benefit from more therapy.
Posted by Daisym on June 27, 2008, at 20:50:49
In reply to Re: Can A Therapist Really Be Objective? » Rigby, posted by Dinah on June 27, 2008, at 17:25:53
I think this question comes up for every professional that provides a service. I evaluate kids and yes, my agency makes money when we provide weekly therapy. But I would never recommend services for a child/family who didn't need it. So the ethics of the professional or agency need to be above board and without question.
But I'm not sure I want my therapist to be completely objective. I want him to believe whole-heartly in the therapy process and to believe that we can all benefit from it. Otherwise, only "mentally ill" folks need therapy - instead of those seeking a deeper clarity about their life and their choices. (which is not to say that I'm not well aware of my own pathology.) Therapy can be on again/off again useful for many reasons.
I agree with Dinah. It is more about how you feel and what you need. Therapy is expensive, not only in dollars, but in time, energy and emotionally. It should not be undertaken lightly. But I can say, without doubt, it has been the hardest and best thing I've ever done for myself.
Posted by Rigby on June 30, 2008, at 11:38:01
In reply to Can A Therapist Really Be Objective?, posted by Rigby on June 27, 2008, at 13:12:22
Thanks everyone for your feedback. It has been very useful in helping me to take a step back and, ironically, be a bit more objective about my attitude towards therapy and my therapist.
My therapist has definitely screwed up her boundaries with me and has admitted this so I think this keeps me suspicious. But I also think overall she's good at what she does and I've benefited enormously from seeing her. And if she's erred in any direction it's one of really caring and wanting to help.
Thanks again--I really appreciate the feedback.
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